One time I left a ketchup packet on the table to hold it and someone sat there… boy was I mad!! j/k of course… that guy is a moron for leaving his keys on the table. That doesn’t tell anyone anything except that someone lost their keys.
As long as there’s a warm butt in a chair, I don’t have a problem with that. It’s when people think that they deserve to have a whole table sit empty and idle while other people can’t find seats that my blood starts to boil.
I think I sat next to this key guy on the subway a few weeks ago 
Or, if you want to have a little more fun, and be kind of evil… walk past the table once, quietly palm the keys when the guy isn’t looking, drop them in your pocket… sit down and begin enjoying you drink/meal… when cap’n asshat comes up saying he held the table with his keys, just reply “what keys… I don’t see any keys on the table… wait a minute, were you actually stupid enough to leave your KEYS unattended?!? man, you better go check on your car!”
then, while he’s gone to check on his car, drop the keys in the lost and found… you get the table, and a good laugh. plus maybe he learns a little lesson. (or, if he doesn’t leave, just keep them in your pocket and wait for him to leave, or come back in an hour)… or if he really gets uppity and wants to call the police (you probably don’t want to deal with the police), just use the restroom, and leave those keys in some unpleasant place… “no officer, I only have my keys on me, let me empty my pockets quick…”
ofcourse, that is evil… but that’s a good thing 
[hijack]
When I read this title, I thought it said Stealing Etiquette. It’s a comforting thought that today’s thieves have good manners.
[/hijack]
shrug… I don’t know. At my Uni, everyone reserves tables first around the crowded hours. I’ve only once had to venture outsde the cafeteria, and it was only into the first floor lounge.
I would never dare of touching someone’s backpack. I hate confrontation. I and sure as heck would appreciate if people don’t touch my and my friends stuff …
Then again, where I eat there’s two seperate cafeterias, so finding a seat is possible (if not hard sometimes).
But no, I wouldn’t have touched their keys. Nor would I have left mine (what WERE they thinking?)
But I sure as heck won’t be bringing my backpack full of 5 textbooks into the cafe to grab stuff. That’s just plain rude in itself. You ever try walking around with a backpack on? It’s evil.
So, in conclusion … I guess the situations are too different. All I can say is I would defintely have NOT touched their keys. Were the outside tables full?
It’s just like when I go into the computer lab. I won’t touch an unattended computer with stuff around it – even if I’m about to be late for my class.
/Shadez
Using an unattended computer with “stuff around it” is different from using a computer next to which someone had put a key or a pencil or something to “reserve” it.
The stuff around the computer sort of indicates someone was using it and had to go up and get a reference book or use the loo or something.
I maintain that anyone might have inferred that the previous occupant of the restaurant table had accidentally left their keys. It’s not an automatic reservation.
And, sis, I’ve come around to agreeing with you on outclassing such louts. Even if they don’t get it, you know you’ve taken the high road. I mean, the Visigoths didn’t appreciate the cultures they were sacking either.
I would also consider a computer-with-stuff to be sacrosanct. But that would be more like if someone left their obviously unfinished meal on the table to take a toddler to the potty or get another napkin or condiment. I wouldn’t sit at a table like that, either.
Seem to be lots of different scenarios with different shades of what’s acceptable. I’m okay with saving movie seats or tables in a food court. I’m not too bent out of shape over backpacks in a college cafeteria with several acres of tables (though I take my backpack through the line and find my table when I come out with my stuff, because that just seems both safer and more fair to me. And if it’s so crowded there is literally no where to sit, I will move somebody’s stuff, you betcha. If some other joker’s still waiting for his burger I am not gonna stand around watching my food reach thermal equilibrium just because he pissed on the tree before I got there. Can I say “pissed” in IMHO?).
My original scenario was a small cafe (not a cafeteria) with a few tables, a single one (1) of which was available, inside or out, when it was our turn to sit down. I only wish I’d thought of Audrey’s method. Next time, I’ll know what to do. My, yes, this place is educational.