I’ve travelled a lot and I appreciate the many benefits that other cultures bring to this country (Australia, in my case). But I really think it’s better if it’s agreed that there’s a “standard” national culture and that newcomers conform to that as much as possible, especially in regards to “controversial” things.
For example: Normal French people do not wear Burqas. Therefore, I think the French Government is completely entitled to say “That’s not the way we do things here and if you don’t like it, Monsieur Le President will drive you to the airport himself.”
The problem is that there’s a line between saying “Your values are incompatible with ours and whilst you are welcome here, we’d appreciate it if you refrained from publicly doing [objectionable thing]” and “NO FOREIGNERS ALLOWED!”, and working out where that line is forms a significant challenge.
Bring your funky food and odd clothing. Have your different holidays. Enjoy them, share them, we might even like them too. But when it comes to basic social interactions, business methods, legal stuff, blah blah blah with the general population of your new country, IMO you need to do as the Romans do when in Rome.
If you moved from your country because it was crappy, IMO its probably that way because your culture as WHOLE doesnt work so hot. And the better country you moved to is probably better because as a WHOLE because its overall culture does work (or at least better).
I work in a place where we get visitors from overseas, although we have many immigrants in the city. I’ve seen ladies in many variants of traditional (& non-traditional) Muslim dress, but have never seen one in a burqa.
I don’t think this is an unreasonable point of view - and I’m an English guy of Indian descent living in the U.S.
I had already left Britain by the time Omar Bakri, for example, started making headlines, but frankly I thought it was ridiculous that what I still thought of as my own government was sheltering him. We’re talking about a non-citizen who was living in Britain on a temporary visa, and calling for the violent overthrow of the government (and its replacement with an Islamic theocracy). Oh, and occasionally releasing Osama bin Laden’s statements to the press on his behalf.
The government refused to throw him out (until after 9/11), and it was left to a few fringe members of the Conservative Party to call for him to be tossed - people who I’d laugh at when presented with their views on most issues (especially those related to immigration).
The justification was that Britain had a long history of offering sanctuary to political radicals (Marx, et al.) and that Bakri had not actually committed a crime. Well, fuck that.
I find this sort of talk vaguely disturbing. I don’t think government has any place in dictating the culture of a country. I don’t think people have any place in dictating another person’s culture, or how they express that culture, whether they’re the majority view or no (with the obvious disclaimer an it harm none - directly harm, that is. Burqa? Can be argued to be a tool in the oppression of women. Directly, it harms no one).
If you want people to conform to another culture, promote that culture and let people pick up its positive aspects. Don’t prohibit or condemn other cultures, or ask them to conform. I think this applies equally to minority cultures who would prefer the majority to do things the way they do. They should absolutely promote their way of life. Without pressuring other people to follow it. “We don’t do that here, and we find it objectionable” just doesn’t cut it, if the thing in question is purely cultural, and doesn’t really harm anyone. I mean, the “Don’t be a jerk” rule still applies to people as individuals, but that’s irrespective of whose culture’s what. If I meet someone whose culture offends me in some way, I try to respect that they just do things differently; I expect them to extend me the same courtesy.
You read it wrong. I basically do what they do. It’s maybe not the most caring thing, but it’s something that happens. Living in another culture is tough in a million ways and it’s hard to really understand how tough it is until you try it- especially cultures as different as China and America.
It’s hard to say since the OP didn’t provide more details. You speak English when out with English-speaking colleagues (even if non-English speakers are there as well) because your Chinese still isn’t very good, and you don’t find it relaxing to try to speak it. And you don’t invite non-English speakers to these outings, it’s just that sometimes one tags along. In the OP’s brother-in-law’s case, the Chinese guys actually invited him, and it’s probable (although we don’t have enough details) that their English is actually quite good.
The people being called assholes are the ones whose “job it was”— those who specifically invited a non-Chinese-speaking person out to eat with them and then ignored him by speaking only Chinese.
In the situation you describe, you’re a bystander.
The OP said of his brother-in-law: “I have often wrangled with his racist attitudes…” After the Chinese-only lunch, “I had no response to challenge his negative view of multicultural immigration.”
The guy is a racist who feels resentment at work, because he is surrounded by Chinese Canadians. I somehow doubt he’s hidden these feelings from his co-workers. They should have suggested he stay at the office & nuke his own bland lunch; instead, they took a passive-aggressive approach & spoke Chinese among themselves. (It sounds like they stick to English at work.) Rather rude. But rudeness knows no ethnic boundaries.
He already had a negative view of multicultural immigration, as did our OP. These are legal immigrants. Perhaps the OP needs to start a campaign to Keep Canada White. (What’s Mandarin or Cantonese for “Pinche Gabacho”?)
I have to wonder if any of them actually “invited” Dutchman’s racist brother out to lunch. I’ve noticed that serious racists have a tendency to reinterpret events to bolster their prejudices. I can pretty easily envision this guy tagging along uninvited, and then getting all pissy because all of the folks who didn’t want him to be there in the first place, don’t want to talk to his racist ass.