464.900 up 5meg DPL 711. Simplex on the second channel.
I go to a public high-school in the inner city. Everything is in code.
Fo’ shizzle.
Hey, is that NCEB a PML RT or a BCR-abl RT?
Honey’s bitchin’ again. Someone reset G54 and I got a soft Y-axis overrun.
At the hospital we don’t have any secret codes aside from the regular codes for emergencies. At Ace Hardware me and the boys have a secret code whenever a hot girl or milf walks in:
*or some other irrelevant department such as plumbing in which said power tool is moving, it’s just for navigational reason so we all know where they are
I need a GSP and a P I E in the window on the fly to sell me, lead’s on 31, 35 open, 9 top down.
Mmmmmm…restaurants.
You just gotta have a code for a nice piece of ass walking through the door! At a couple of Starbucks I’ve worked in, everyone behind the counter looks up when someone says, “There’s sugar on the floor!” but no one grabs a broom. Unfortunately, it’s also becoming a reference for significant others coming in to visit, which is just disappointing as hell. Hope someone comes up with something better.
Obviously, you never reference anything financial-related in front of customers, so codes have been developed for that as well. At my old store, they stupidly said, “The baby’s crying,” when alerting the shift supervisor that the alarm on the safe was going off. Does anyone really believe that employees bring babies to work and leave them unattended in the backroom? Puhlease! I prefer, “The scones are done.” And “I’m going to the bakery,” to announce I’m going to the bank.
Still working on codes for cashiers that need more small bills or change in their register. Any suggestions?
These aren’t really secret codes, as they’re pretty easy to figure out, but they keep us amused…
“Why wasn’t that thing working?”
“Oh, there was a problem with the O-N-O-F-F actuator.”
Translation: “I forgot to turn the damn thing on.”
“Why wasn’t that thing working?”
“We had some trouble with a high impedance air gap.”
Translation: “I forgot to plug the damn thing in.”
Me and Willy were lollygagging by the scuttlebutt after being aloft to boy-butter up the antennas and were just perched on a bollard eyeballing a couple of bilge rats and flangeheads using crescent hammers to pack monkey shit around a fitting on a handybilly.
All of a sudden the dicksmith started hard-assing one of the deck apes for lifting his pogey bait. The pecker-checker was a sewer pipe sailor and the deckape was a gator. Maybe being blackshoes on a bird farm surrounded by a gaggle of cans didn’t set right with either of those gobs.
The deck ape ran through the nearest hatch and dogged it tight because he knew the penis machinist was going to lay below, catch him between decks and punch him in the snot locker. He’d probably wind up on the binnacle list but Doc would find a way to gundeck the paper or give it the deep six to keep himself above board.
We heard the skivvywaver announce over the bitch box that the breadburners had creamed foreskins on toast and SOS ready on the mess decks so we cut and run to avoid the clusterfuck when the twidgets and cannon cockers knew chow was on.
We were balls to the wall for the barn and everyone was preparing to hit the beach as soon as we doubled-up and threw the brow over. I had a ditty bag full of fufu juice that I was gonna spread on thick for the bar hogs with those sweet bosnias. Sure beats the hell out of brown bagging. Might even hit the acey-duecy club and try to hook up with a Westpac widow. They were always on the dance floor on amateur night.
Oh my God…that almost looked like English until I started reading…
headache
bamf
That’s right, Shirt Ninja 13.
And the hilarious part is how this language gets taught to a new seaman, when he reports to boot camp. Because the company commanders don’t want the recruits talking like landlubbers.
“Recruit, go stand by that scuttlebutt.”
“What’s a scuttlebutt, Petty Officer?”
“You don’t know what a scuttlebutt is, you beach-loving piece of crap? Maybe you’d like to taste some of that beach, huh? Drop and give me 30!”
A scuttlebutt, btw, is a drinking fountain. You cannot call it a drinking fountain in the Navy, however. You will be mocked mercilessly if you do.
My college roommate and I (having also roomed together in high school) developed something of a secret language between ourselves. Most of it was unintelligible and utter gibberish, but if we were walking somewhere and a pretty girl walked by, whichever of us noticed her first would say,
“Ye-e-e-ep.” (almost “Yeah-up”)
and wait for the acknowledgement,
“Uh-huh.” (more like “On-hon”)
before capping it with a third “Yep.” for emphasis. The equivalent is roughly,
“Look at that beautiful specimen of a female, who is attractive enough to interrupt our conversation.”
“I see her. Boy howdy, she’s nice looking. Let’s both look just a little longer.”
“Yep.”
Often, for several moments after she passed, we’d still be mumbling "Yep"s and "Uh-huh"s back and forth. Because men are pigs and easily distracted. Besides, she was really cute.
How about three in the back end??
Still working on codes for cashiers that need more small bills or change in their register. Any suggestions?
“George needs a break?”
“The creative brief was going fine until the man who isn’t started $1.99-ing”
Accident and emergency rooms are the worst.
“Where’s Mrs O’Reilly?”
“That the LOL in NAD whose family are suffering from Acopia? She’s talking to the wife of Gomer with the RP by the vending machine.”
“What about the FLK who came in earlier?”
“His parent’s arrived, no need to panic, it’s an FLF”.
LOL in NAD- little old lady in no apparent distress
Acopia- can’t cope with granny, want to unload her on the hospital
Gomer-get out of my emergency room, usually meaning a really sick old person with about 10 things wrong with them at once.
RP- Reality Problem ie severe dementia
FLK-funny looking kid
FLF-funny looking family

Every morning at work I get ~150 pages of morning reports covering all of our active wells. After almost 24 years I still occasionally encounter some acronym that neither I nor my colleagues can decipher. The pages are, I suspect, wholly incomprehensible to the uninitiated, full of GIH (going in hole), POOH (pull out of hole), WOO (waiting on orders), WOW (waiting on weather), TIH (tool in hole), squeezing, reaming, etc.
You’re in the porn industry?
Come to think of it, there is 1 code at the hospital that is sorta secret. It’s the CODE BROWN, although it’s usually not called outloud over the PA system, everyone “nose” when it’s in effect
Berthed PST P1/2. 1A, 1B GTRB 8HNFS. 1, 4 SSDG O/L 2, 3 S/D. In DC3X, FP state B in force
We don’t have many secret codes were I work, but there are some. A QAC (or as we insist on saying, “quack”…much to the dismay of the CEO. Hey, if he wants to say Q-A-C power to him) is your supervisor.
A CRR is a test you must take in some content areas - but not mine - in order to qualify to score an item. What exactly it stands for, I forget. Computer something something.
A" [insert state] One" is a response that is so terrible you can hardly believe you have give the kid credit for it. An example of this would be: “write an essay about where you’d like to suggest someone visit in your town” and the answer is " My house." There are certain states that don’t allow you to give zeros, so even a phrase gets the lowest score. You don’t hear this as much any more since fewer states forbid the use of zeros now.
Of course, you find the occasional response that is totally NFC…but you’ve got to score it anyway, even if it makes your brain hurt trying to understand what the kid is getting at. no fucking clue, of course
I recently referred JM 30638 from CSSU/ICM to CSSU/ACT, but my referral was deflected because of his Hx of utilizing both PSR and ESP.