Our cats all know their names, and respond to them. Sometimes, we want to talk about them, but we don’t want them to respond. So we also have “secret” names that we use when we don’t want them to know that we are talking about them. Here are ours–I’ll list their “official” name first, then the “secret” name (note that we have six cats):
Denver, a.k.a. Inkpads: Denver is all black, and so are his paw pads. So he is known as “Inkpads.”
Annie, a.k.a. Alarm Clock: Annie is always hungry. So she wakes us up at ungodly hours to tell us that her food bowl is dangerously low. It invariably happen in the mornings at about 5:00 a.m.–hence, “Alarm Clock.”
Shiloh, a.k.a. Meeper: For some reason, Shiloh doesn’t meow. She meeps. So, naturally, she is “Meeper.”
Fiona, a.k.a. Fee: We don’t really worry about Fiona; in the best tradition of felines, she ignores her name when it suits her–which is most times.
Hope, a.k.a Sicola: This comes from an old joke about the pope and his favorite soft drink (Pope Sicola–get it?). Anyway, Hope Sicola quickly morphed into just plain Sicola.
Tigger, a.k.a. Newton: This comes from the cookies: Tig Newton, like Fig Newton, which became just Newton.
What do you call your pets when you don’t want them to know you’re talking about them?
Alvin a.k.a. Black Death/Dog Features Al can always tell when you’re talking about him, even if you don’t use his name and you’re talking in another language in a flat tone. He is also bilingual, knowing the key words in English and Serbian.
Phoenix a.k.a. PsychoCat She had a car accident that left her a bit brain damaged.
Saturn a.k.a. Bitch Features/Shit Face She’s a very affectionate cat but she always has a bitchy expression.
Cooper a.k.a Brown Slug Laziest dog EVAR. Slept 23 hours and 45 minutes of the day, got up to scoff food and make stupid faces. Got very senile at the end of his life; got lost between the kitchen and the living room (separated by a three metre long hallway).
I don’t have “secret” names for my animals, because I never care if they know I’m talking about them.
But they do have silly nicknames. Molly is Your Cat (Himself’s), The Bitch, Little Kitty, Molly-Wolly, Chicken-Little (sometimes she acts like the sky is falling), and Puddin’.
Punky is Fat Cat, Lard Ass, Handsome, Tater (couch potato), and Punkin Pie.
Rio is Shithead, Trouble Junior (after the deceased Trouble, who he resembles in looks and personality), Wee Kitty, Spare Kitty (we got him when Trouble was dying), and Baby Cat.
Ladybug and Jasmine, pictured here have nicknames, too. Ladybug is Bug or Boo. Jasmine is Jazz or Doofus. And they get sweetheart, darlin’ and whatever affectionate names happen to come tripping from my lips as well.
Oh, and any animal that is acting up is Your Cat/Dog, regardless of which one of us is speaking and which animal is being bad.
It’s backwards at my home. My cats respond to their covert names but not to their given names.
Serena = Big Girl
Venus = Little Sister (because she’s the Big Girl’s little sister, or course).
They’re twins but due to a gum disease Little Girl ate her food only when the alternative was starvation, so she was malnourished during the first year of her life and developed with a smaller frame.
Then I have Phoebe - a 1 year old who is not related to the other two and delights in terrorizing them.
Phoebe answers to her given name as well as “Feebs” and “turkey”.
The cats respond to just about anything we call them, but I sometimes refer to Pixel as either “Assassin” or “Stoner.” This comes from her frequent attempts to either trip me down the stairs or get me to break out the catnip. Havoc, aka “The Lump,” gets her nickname from her tendency to sleep through anything, and her ability to magnetically bond with whatever she is sleeping on.
Ailey a.k.a. “Old Man” or "Stick Ass Cat": Because he’s (1) old and (2) farts a lot.
**Maya a.k.a “Rat Fink” or “Flea Bag”: ** She used to be “Nasty Bitch Cat”, but it’s lightened over the years to evolve into Rat Fink. She was originally a stray we adopted off the streets and, well, was covered in fleas.
Cuervo is called “Buster”, “Rudy-kazootie” (don’t ask, I don’t remember why) or “good boy” by me. The wife calls him Booger. I like to wonder what Marty is calling him in this picture .
Scarlett is “Fat Evil Scarlett”, “fat cat”, “big fat ass”, “tub of goo” or “ow, bitch” (usually after she gets aggressive with me)
Marty is just Marty. Or Boo. or Marty-Boo. or Good Boy Boo. He is the most mild mannered, tolerant animal I’ve ever known.
and the biggest greenwing macaw on the planet.
his: trigger
he calls his dogs from time to time:
nicky
snicky-snak
tu
tooey
tu-dog
romulator
romdoggy
he has no nicknames for poor elsa, whom og passed by in the brains department. she is about the dumbest animal i’ve ever run across. :rolleyes:
his cats are called respectively:
shark (for mako, obviously)
bug and boutz for kona.
murphy, my senior citizen cat at 19, is called from time to time:
big guy
fat boy
murph
turk’s a baby at 3, and he’s called at various times:
turkinator
little guy
fuzzball
fred (i have no idea why i call him that)
and of course, there’s trigger, aka:
bad-ass bird
red-headed chicken
bird from hell
velocirator from hell
hook-billed velocirator from hell
Much like my mother did to me, Toxie only hears his full, real name when he’s being bad. The rest of the time, he is:
Boo Boo; Mr. Boo; Boobity-Boo (I don’t know where I picked up this “Boo” thing); Shitty Kitty; Dumb Dumb; Fatty-Fat-Fat; Sonny Jim, or Grumpus VonPuffybottom.
DOG: Cooper = Flying Barn Owl [The breeder requires us to register a formal dog name that begins with the word “Flying” and also contains the name of a raptor. We picked the most obnoxious raptor name but we haven’t registered it. If we are going to register it, we will likely pick “Flying Cooper’s Hawk.”]
Back when I had cats (and someday I’ll have a couple again, hopefully with my next move) there was Jake, AKA Puddin’, a big 17 pound bundle of energy and his littermate Scout, AKA sweetie, based on her disposition - shy as anything, but so sweet when she wanted attention.
Jointly they were known as the greedy little monsters.
