Secretarial Peeve Du Jour

[DeVena]

Quasi-secretary here… I answer the phone and give solutions for people’s problems. I’m much better at it than my boss. He’s a whiner. Boss gets call on his voicemail, boss passes it off to me. It’s my job to answer questions.

OK so I make a phone call:

Guy: uuuuuuuh Hello
Me: May I speak to Mr Guy?
Guy: This is him
Me: Mr Guy, this is DeVena with Department of Knowledge (or whatever). You had called earlier for Boss?
Guy: Well, I need to talk to someone about my problem.
Me: What is the problem, sir? I can help you.
Guy: <dead air> No, girly, this is a big problem and I need need to speak to Boss.
Me: Boss is unable to take you question. Maybe I can help you?
Guy: No - Have Boss call me back.
Me: Boss will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks. I can help you.
Guy: Well, who’s gonna help me with my problem? I cain’t wait 2 weeks?
Me: I’ll have Boss call you at his earliest convienience. Good bye.

Exact email message I sent Boss:

Called Guy. Refused to speak to me. Needed affirmation of someone with a Y chromosone. Yet another example of how stupid men assume that because I lack testicles, I therefore must also lack a brain.

Grrrrrrr.

[Sinshine]

Question: Why aren’t corporate executives recruited from a career ladder that includes secretaries? Secretaries are administrative. The work they do is administrative. To say that they run the company is not to make a condescending patronizing remark, it’s just plain truth. What the CEOs and CIOs and CFOs and whatnot do is just longer-range decision-making that should be based on a thorough knowledge of the everyday stuff that secretarial/admin asst. staff make happen, and the main reason most of them aren’t better than borderline competent is that they don’t know what they need to know. **

I like the way you think. Many of the administrative people I have worked with, have degrees as advanced as the poeple they work for. I worked for a company that IPO’d, and I know who got the glory, and I know who fell apart when the workhorse had a heart attack. (The same guy, incidentally, who walked around the office that week, saying, since WHEN do WOMEN get heart attacks."!!?!)

However, as admin assistant to 16 individual real estate appraisers, some techno savvy and some old-school, I will be going to work tomorrow and saying thank you, thank you, thank you to each of them. Even the guy who gets me to give him a hard copy of his email so he can draft a response and have me type and send it for him, does so with a sweet smile and the occasional free lunch.

And I came home feeling hard-done-by because I had a heavy day today. Thank you!

[Rilchiam]

Is it possible that some of these annoyances (checks stapled through envelopes, individually folded sheets, misplaced address on invoice) were perpetrated by another secretary?

Not a pleasant thought, I know. Sort of like a paratrooper reflecting that his chute was made by the lowest bidder. :dubious:

ThatDuck: $5.25/hr? Please tell me that was a long time ago!

[Cat_Whisperer]

It’s almost certain that these things are done by other admins - I just figure there’s a PHB somewhere in the picture directing them to do these things.

“Oh, just to make sure the cheque doesn’t accidentally rip off of the stub and fall out of the sealed envelope, you better staple it through the envelope as well.”

[divemaster]

I work for a government agency. We have administrative types that are indespensible. They have their own offices and take care of a lot of the background stuff that enables my colleagues and me to do what we have to do.

In addition, our branch has a secretary. She doesn’t belong to any one person, but was hired specifially to take care of “busywork” type stuff–faxing, photocopying, filing, etc. Certainly not dry-cleaning, making coffee, balancing checkbooks, what have you.

Anyway, she spends most of the time at her desk chatting on the phone and playing solitaire. That is, when she’s not out taking smoke breaks. Most of us around here have no problem doing our own copying, faxing and such, but sometimes I get busy enough to feel warranted to ask her to do some of these things for me. And these are not major requests. Major requests go down to the print plant, not to secretaries.

On the occassions when I do ask, I invariably get the look like I’m putting the weight of the world on her shoulders. Lots of heavy sighs. The last time I asked her, she rolled her eyes at me!

Geeze, 90% of the time I don’t ask. And it is your job to provide support, not an attitude.

[missbunny]

My boss called a while ago (I wasn’t here at the time - I was at the bank getting him cash because he doesn’t want to learn how to use the ATM himself and refuses to stand in the line inside) and asked where a meeting that has later on today is being held. He told the guy who answered the phone that I didn’t give him this information in my voicemail to him yesterday. I replied that yes, I did tell him, it’s at our attorney’s office (where my boss has been several hundred times). The phone guy said, “He said you didn’t tell him what floor.”

HELLO? You’ve been there 500 times. Don’t you remember where our lawyer’s office is? Maybe you should go to Reception - just like it works in YOUR OWN company - and they will direct you. Oh, you don’t know where Reception is? How about looking at the building directory? Or asking the security guard? We don’t let visitors just waltz directly into someone’s office here - why on earth would you think YOU can do it somewhere else??? So I had to spend 5 minutes calling the attorney (because otherwise Boss would confront me with, “Oh . . . you didn’t actually ask HIM what floor he was on? You just assumed I should go to reception?” Of course, the attorney wasn’t there so I had to call the main number and ask them a question that made me appear like an idiot - “Um, when visitors are coming to your office, can they just go directly to the attorney’s office or should they go to Reception?” Freakin’ DUH!!!

However, I am grossly overpaid, so I guess I have to put up with this ridiculousness.

[isthatsowrong]

Sure, being a secretary/admin sucks, but at least there’s the spanking to look forward to.

[Cat_Whisperer]

*Originally posted by divemaster *
**<SNIP>Anyway, she spends most of the time at her desk chatting on the phone and playing solitaire. That is, when she’s not out taking smoke breaks. Most of us around here have no problem doing our own copying, faxing and such, but sometimes I get busy enough to feel warranted to ask her to do some of these things for me. And these are not major requests. Major requests go down to the print plant, not to secretaries.

On the occassions when I do ask, I invariably get the look like I’m putting the weight of the world on her shoulders. Lots of heavy sighs. The last time I asked her, she rolled her eyes at me!

Geeze, 90% of the time I don’t ask. And it is your job to provide support, not an attitude. **

I’ve worked with these types too - they sure make the rest of us look bad. I would be more than happy to help out with legitimate requests (and it sounds like that’s all your staff make), then I would ask you what else I can do. I’m a professional; she obviously is not. (You don’t work in Calgary and need to replace her with someone competent by any chance, do you? :D)

[Baker]

This is sort of a hijack but does anyone remember seeing an episode of “The New Twilight Zone” titled But Can She Type? The main character was played by Pam Dawber.

She was a secretary with a supreme jerk for a boss, who didn’t appreciate all the work she did and was making her work late on Christmas Eve. So she stomps into the copying room and slams some stuff down on the brand new copier. It flashes oddly and from there on out things get strange.

She finishes her work and goes to the party she was supposed to meet her boyfriend at. She never finds him but when the rest of the partygoers hear she’s a secretary, WELL!

It turns out she’s in an alternate dimension where being a secretary is the most lucrative and honored of professions. After she’s had a couple of drinks she’s holding the rest of the partygoers enthralled with tales of copying and collating printing orders of over a hundred copies! A guy even offers her a job, that would include a limo and a wardrobe budget. But she goes home anyway. The boss is a jerk again so she goes back to the copying room, where workers are about to take away the “new” machine. She shoves them aside, makes a copy, and goes back to where she will be appreciated.

[AbbySthrnAccent]

Callers who want you to drop what you’re doing to print and fax them something immediately.

Me: Sure I’d be happy to email you an updated list. What is your email addy?

Caller: Oh can’t you fax it?

Me: Email is quicker but yes I can print it and send a fax before I go home today.

Caller: Oh can’t you do it now?

Me: I can send you an email immediately, but I am covering the phones for the remainder of the afternoon. Can you hold one moment please, I must catch another line? (Pause) Thank you for holding. If you prefer a fax I will be happy to send it when I log off the phones before I go home.

Caller: Can you just read me the changes?

Me: I cannot see your document, so I don’t know what the changes are. I can email it now, or fax it at the end of the day.

Caller: Well ok bye then.

Me: Ma’am if you want me to send it I need either an email addy or a fax number.

Caller: Oh right, um lemme find it…

Me: Hold please I need to catch another line. (pause)
Ok, thank you for holding. Do you have the number?

Caller: 713-555-5555. Can you fax it right now?

Me: No ma’am I already have one call on hold and another roll over ringing. I will fax it at the end of the day.

Caller: Well, Um, I guess I’ll have to wait.

Me: Yes ma’am the soonest I can break away to send a fax is at the end of the day.

Caller: What time is it now?

Me: Hold one moment please, I must catch another line. (pause)
Thank you for holding. It is 4:10 p.m.

Caller: What time will you send the fax?

Me: Hold please. (pause) Thank you for holding. I can close the phones at 5 p.m. I will send the fax then.

Caller: You can’t send it now?

Me: No.

Caller: Well you’re no help. (click)