Seeking Cat Advice: Does my Cat Need a Kitty-Friend or Am I just Projecting Human Feelings on Her?

In My Humble Opinion
1

I have a 6 year-old tortoise shell, full of her own “tortitude” as they call it. She’s small, only about 5 pounds and completely adorable.

She is very attached to me, and I do love that. She is very vocal, she meows and chirps frequently. I talk to her all the time, I give her lots of attention and “lap time” as much as I can. She is just the neediest cat I have ever had. Like most cats she doesn’t understand why I can’t just be her personal lounge chair all day. I got her from the Humane Society when she was about 6 months old.

The problem is that I travel periodically for work and the rest of the time I work from home. There are other adults in my home, so she is never alone, but she mopes and cries when I am gone and when I return she is super needy. I need to be able to work without her constantly trying to get into my lap and loudly mewing at me and being demanding. I play with her off and on during the day, she has toys and catnip scratching pads which she does use. My work colleagues all know her because she makes an appearance at pretty much every Skype meeting.

I worry she is lonely, but I also don’t want to complicate or disrupt her good habits by introducing another cat. She has transitioned nicely from being an indoor-outdoor cat before I sold my house to an indoor only life now that we are condo living. I have a big screened porch and she loves to go out there and just sit and watch the world go by and nap. She never scratches or picks at the screen, and has a grand time stalking the occasional unfortunate lizard that comes in under the screen door. She has 2 litter boxes, and uses them perfectly. I keep my blinds partially raised because she likes to sit on the window sills and look out, so I think my house is reasonably “catified” as that jackson Galaxy guy says on My Cat From Hell.

I prefer to have more than 1 cat at a time, and have had as many as 8, but I lived in the country then.

I had another cat that I adopted at the same time as her, but he grew into a very large fella that would not stay in the house much and decided he liked the lady 2 doors down better (nobody owns a cat, they pick you!), so she adopted him when I moved because I knew he would be miserable as an indoor cat. Point being, she has lived with another cat, but that was 3 years ago, and with every other cat she has come in contact with since then she has acted like a snot.

I feel bad when I shoo her away and I worry she is bored, but I can’t entertain her every minute. I really do wish she could entertain herself a little more often. This is just a bit too much like having a baby again. I have to wait for her to fall asleep so I can get anything done.

I have had many, many cats in my life, so I understand much of this is just the way cats are, but this little girl is just very EXTRA on the attention-wanting scale.

So, do cats really get lonely for the company of another cat and could this help this issue of wanting my attention all the time? Or is that just me projecting human emotions?

I know introducing a new cat can be a slow and tedious process and you never know if they are going to get along. Sharing space can be disastrous, for sure! I am feeling much more torn about it than I expected.

I thought maybe a kitten might be good, as she might feel protective, but she was fixed when she was so young I doubt she will have an iota of maternal instinct. And also, a kitten might turn out to not be nearly as well-behaved as she is. A larger grown cat would probably make her feel threatened.

The ideal situation is to get a set of litter mates, but obviously that’s not an option right now.

Maybe I should just get her a cat tower and she isn’t actually as lonely, traumatized, or plain ol’ butthurt as I think she is?

2

I have always had multiple cats, and it has usually worked out that they get along and play and entertain each other when that is needed. I have never had litter mates, and almost always have gotten my cats at separate times, often years apart.

I tend to think you are correct and your cat would benefit from a friend or 2. I almost wrote a manual on choosing cats, but if you’ve had 8 at a time, I imagine you have that covered. :smiley:

3

And despite getting her from the Humane Society, this one is the first one I have ever paid actual money for! All my other cats managed to find me and were absolutely free. I guess I never had any trouble before with so many because they were former strays and were grateful to have a home. And we also had several acres that they could get away from each other.

This current one is a bit spoiled, but that’s my fault too!

And my cat I mentioned above who forsook me for another? I deserved that because 12 years previous to that, another cat showed up at my house and wouldn’t leave. Turned out he belonged to another person down the street, but he decided he wanted to live with me. Thankfully, she was also a cat person and understood. Nothing feels better than when they choose you! He got bone cancer and died in 2011. :frowning:

And please, do write me a manual on how to choose a companion for her. It feels very strange for me to go get a cat, as most of my life they have just found me! :smiley:

4

My Siamese are jealous of each other. They are not litter mates. If your baby is that clingy be sure and get a rather aloof kitten, it might work better.

5

Ahem. I cannot advise you on this until I see a photo of said cat.

::taps foot impatiently::

6

OK - I’ll see if I can remember what I started to put together.

I find that opposite sex introductions go better, so you might want to look for a male.

Is your cat still relatively playful on occasion? Interested in hunting? Wants to chase toys, bugs, and so on? If so, I’d look for a young, playful cat, even a kitten. If she’s more into finding a lap, or the nearest sun patch (all the time, not just sometimes), I’d say look for an older, more mellow cat, who would be equally interested in a nap buddy.

That’s the short version. :slight_smile:

7

We always had multiple cats when we had a house out in the country. When we moved to Indy, into an apartment, we lost one shortly after moving, then a year later, lost another, bringing us down to one.

When the one, who had at one point been the youngest of five, became a singlet, she got very demanding, to the point of getting extremely jealous whenever I paid any attention to my then-6-year-old son.

We got another cat. It happened that the vet had a four-year-old tortie she was helping some people rehome (we never did know why; the cat has a beautiful personality). We decided to give her a try. It took a day of hissing and staying in different rooms, but then they started play-wrestling. It took much longer before they would cuddle for warmth-- or even share the same piece of furniture. I think is was six months before they would both be on the bed or couch together, unless I was on it too, but now it’s been five years, and it’s like they grew up together.

It really helped with the first cat’s clinginess. She still has her moments, but her life is not one giant moment, which it was right after she became an only cat.

8

I agree with this, unless your cat is very geriatric, in which case a kitten may annoy her, but the new cat should be younger, because you will want the one you already have to be the “alpha,” and that happens naturally if the new cat is younger. If the new cat comes in and decides to run things, it won’t work out.

I have had good luck with two females, but not two males. A male may be a good idea, though, if he is ALREADY fixed, or if he is under six months, and fixed immediately.

Also, make sure your cats match in the claw department. If your cat has claws, don’t introduce a cat that has been declawed, and vice-versa.

When I was a kid, we had a beautiful Siamese who came from the shelter already declawed. Then when we adopted a stray who was hanging around the house, my mother said we had to get him declawed, because we couldn’t have a cat with claws in the house with a declawed cat. I always felt a little guilty, since I had begged to adopt him, but he had a very pampered, and long life, and was still able to catch shrews and climb trees, somehow. He was indoor-outdoor. He always slept inside at night.

9

Both a cat tree and another cat sound like good ideas. In my experience, female cats are more likely to react negatively to other female cats. Male/female and fixed male/fixed male tend to get along, especially is introduced to each other carefully.

Playing with them when you’re there and giving them toys would also be a good idea.
Imgur is a really simple way to share cat pics. https://imgur.com/

10

Thanks for all the replies,everyone!

I have known people with Siamese cats, and they were always quite temperamental. I knew one lady with one that would sit on top of the refrigerator and bop people on the head when they walked by!

An aloof kitten sounds good!

11

Haha! Alright, gotta figure that out…I see someone below posted a photo sharing link.

A more detailed description is that she is mostly black with some scattered calico hairs on her haunches and a patch of calico on her chin and above her left eye. She also has a very sweet little calico patch right at the tip of her tail. The “neutral” position of her tail is to carry it most of the time arched back over her body…I don’t know why she does that, it is just one of her quirks. She has greeny-gold eyes.

12

The short version is great!

She is playful, likes to hunt, loves to chase her toys, but she wants to do those things with me. When she wants to play she will get on the stairs and meow loudly. She likes to find a sun patch to sleep in, but mostly just wants to be wherever I am, either right next to me or nearby. She will sit and look at me intently until she sees I am not letting her creep into my lap. And after several attempts of said creeping, i.e. sliding a paw onto my leg trying to gain a foothold and me gently pushing her away, she will usually finally just curl up right there as close as she can.

13

What about talking to a cat rescue about fostering? Most rescues need foster homes, and if it works out, you can be a foster fail. Be upfront about wanting to adopt if the cats are compatible. If it doesn’t work out, then you’ve still helped a kitty on the journey to another home and you go back to having just one cat.

14

My sister has always had multiple cats, too. As hers have died off (I know that sounds horrible) she is left with one 19 year-old calico who seems to relish her aloneness. The attitude she exudes is “I survived all those other bastards and now it is my turn to shine!” She is extremely sweet and easy-going and my sister would love another cat but she wants to let the old gal live out her days as the center of attention, which I think is the right to do for her. However, for a 19 year-old, she’s in remarkable shape…so much so that when my sister had to switch vets last year, the vet wanted to argue with her about the cat’s age. My sister said, “I know how old this this cat is! I found her in a ditch in 1998!” Believe me, if I could just steal that cat as my second, I would!

And yes, all my past and present cats have had their claws. I personally think that is best.

So…it looks like I need to find a young female or male already fixed. My cat, her name is Molly, btw, is still young enough she likes to play.

Last year I tried bringing in a very friendly stray, and she lost her ever-loving mind, but he was a mostly grown male, and I know I did it too quick. Thankfully another family in the neighborhood wanted him, he was a gorgeous silver-gray longhair. Molly was back to her old self quickly, but she made it clear she was NOT having it!

So this time I want to be very careful and selective. That’s why I wanted feedback if I should even do it at all, but it sounds like I should get another. I felt in my gut I should, but not at the expense of #1 cat.

15

Seems like I may need to look for a young fixed male or possibly a female.

I will try the photo upload thing later today, thanks!

I will try to post a pic of both Molly and my sister’s 19 year old.

16

This could be a possibility, although I am terrible about getting instantly attached!:o I am pretty sure I would be a foster fail. :smiley:

Thank you!

17

I also think fostering would be a good idea.

I don’t know if your current cat is fixed but it’s always a good idea to fix female cats, even if the male cats they live with are fixed; It lowers the risk of cancer.

18

When I took my 12-year-old to the vet for an exam, she said “Are you sure she’s that old?” We had only been at this vet for a few years, and I had to say “Yes, I’ve had her from a kitten,” but it was good to hear. The vet said that based on her coat and her teeth, she would have aged her at closer to 8.

Most of my cats live pretty long too.

19

Yes, she is fixed. She had already had the procedure when I got her from the Humane Society when she was barely 6 months old. I think that they do it when they so young these days I think maybe it stunts their growth? Because she is vary small, she barely weighs 5 pounds but is not at all underweight. However, I do agree the benefits of early spaying/neutering far outweigh any downsides.

That is why I had my doubts she would feel “maternal” at all towards a kitten, as she never had a puberty herself. But if I get one smaller than her, she won’t feel threatened. I also don’t want her to bully the newcomer, either…she has her ways sometimes.

20

My sister’s cat’s name is Buddha. She said that if she knew the cat was going to be around so long she wouldn’t have given her such a stupid unelegant name, especially for a female. I call her Miss Boods.