Self to Instinct - Go immolate yourself!

The BBQ Pit
1

To: Instinct and Impulse Department,

Hey, how many time do I have to tell you to consult me, the brain, before doing anything drastic? The last time you didn’t, wow, you almost got the men in white knocking on the door with a reservation a scenic chalet with a luxurious padded cell where I could pretend to be Hannibal.

And now you poor sob, what have you done this time to cause us much grief? I have just recieved emergency reports that our host’s blood pressure is on the raise, that his tension level is breaking new ground and his stress level is going IPO.

YOU HAVE BOUGHT AN INCOMPATIBLE INK CARTRIDGE FOR YOUR PRINTER!

Right, maybe that doesn’t sound serious enough,

YOU HAVE BOUGH AN INCOMPATIBLE INK CARTRIDGE FOR YOUR PRINTER AT FIFTY DOLLARS!!

Do you get the awesome gravity of the situation yet? Not impressive enough as a doomsday slogan? Maybe we shall get everyone on the street to chant:

LOSTCAUSE HAS BOUGHT AN INCOMATIBLE INK CARTRIDGE FOR HIS PRINTER AT FIFTY DOLLARS WHEN HE ONLY HAS A HUNDRED DOLLARS LEFT FOR THE MONTH!

Now that’s a crisis that demands attention, perhaphs grave enough for the US, China and Japan to hold talks and conference about. I can threaten to drop nuclear bombs and turn Terminator III into reality if they don’t get me the correct ink cartridge. But alas, I am not the dictator of North Korea and the only WMD I own can only be classified as Weapon of Messy Destruction. But no, the situation is worse than that, for

LOSTCAUSE HAS BOUGHT AN INCOMPATIBLE INK CARTRIDGE FOR HIS PRINTER AT FIFTY DOLLARS WHEN HE HAS ONLY A HUNDRED DOLLARS LEFT AND THE CORRECT CARTRIDGE ACTUALLY COSTS SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLARS!

Dogs dive for cover, grown men cower in fear, women shrink and seek safety within holy places - what a foul evil! But no, wait, there’s more, and if you dial 1800-WRONGINK now, and pay US$25 you will get to hear the whole tale of how:

LOSTCAUSE HAS BOUGHT AN INCOMPATIBLE INK CARTRIDGE FOR HIS PRINTER AT FIFTY DOLLARS WHEN HE HAS ONLY A HUNDRED DOLLARS LEFT AND THE CORRECT CARTRIDGE ACTUALLY COSTS SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLARS AND THERE WILL BE NO REFUND!

Cthulhu shudders within the depth of the ocean! Dracula turned into a bat, and flew back to the darkness which spawns him! Fallen Angels grieved, superheroes fainted and pigs fly at the terrible words - “NO REFUND!”

But alas, alas, bards and minstrels will now wander in the main roads and byroads, telling the lament and tale of how…

LOSTCAUSE HAS BOUGHT AN INCOMPATIBLE INK CARTRIDGE FOR HIS PRINTER AT FIFTY DOLLARS WHEN HE HAS ONLY A HUNDRED DOLLARS LEFT AND THE CORRECT CARTRIDGE ACTUALLY COSTS SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLARS AND THERE WILL BE NO REFUND! AND THERE IS A REPORT DUE TOMORROW!!

This whole plot line call for a plot twist! A desu ex machina! But alas, there is none, for I am broke. Now what? I just have to invent a time machine or something…

2

So myou still have $50 bucks left. Hell I bet the printer for the cartrage you bought costs less than that.

Just buy the printer.

Or save the report to disk and take it to Kinko’s or some such place. They should be able to print it at way less than $50.

3

There’s an instinct governing the purchase of printer cartridges? I guess that explains the flock of Monarch Butterflies I saw in OfficeMax the other day.

4

Uck. One of my biggest dreads, the wrong cartridge for the printer. Hope you find a way out, mate.

5

Are you in university? Are there printers in the library you can use?

Cos that’s what I’d do.

6

So I take it you bought the wrong ink cartridge?

:ducks:

If you are on a campus why not ask around and see if anyone has the printer the cartridge is for? You should at least be able to get $40 back out of the $50 you “lost”. For the immediate future I second taking it to kinkos or the library.

Depending on how much you opened the package is there a chance you could sweet talk a manager into giving you store credit or exchanging it plus cash for the correct cartridge? (Assuming for actually want to buy the cartrdige for $75. !!!)

BTW, what kind of printer do you have where a single cartridge costs $75?! :eek:

And where did you buy it where the won’t take refunds? Seems like an unreasonable policy to me. Surely there are plenty of places you can shop that do make refunds.

7

I hate inkjet printers - I hate how they gum up, I hate how the paper feed never works 100%, so you can’t just leave your 30 page report to print while you go get some cornflakes the morning it’s due - I hate how there are more models of ink cartridge than there are different tail-lights for [Ford|Pontiac|Whatever] cars.

My neighbours inkjet (that finally broke for real so I don’t have to troubleshoot it, even though she pays good) with 40$ cartridges is teh sux0r.
My 200$ (CAD even!) laser printer that does >5000 pages trouble-free on an 80$ cartridge is teh rox0r!

8

Wow a $200 laser printer? Sounds nice. What model, and how many pages does it get per catridge?

9

It’s the entire printhead which had go ka-boom on me, so I have to replace the entire print-head. I was only going to print in black, so I thought, “Hey, why not I just get a black ink cartridge!”. I saw one I thought might work and bought it without second thought. I doubt a refund is possible because I have ripped over the packaging (only the outer cardbox layer, though, but I have no idea if they will want to take that back).

The whole thing is about 300+ page. Even if I do print it at the library, they are only going to charge my socks off, and I am not in university at any rate. It’s a private learning thingy.

Anyway, yet another Murphy’s Law for this update -

I mentioned that the printhead is spoilt - nope, I was confused. It wasn’t! I must be remembering an earlier incident. The printhead is perfectly fine, much to my surprise when I tested it in desperation. (Murphy! Stand still so I can strangle!). So I went out to buy a $10 black ink refill (It’s a Canon Thinktank, S400SP). Guess what…

It doesn’t work. Other colours print fine, but black!

I need someone to strangle…

(BTW, all prices mentioned are Singaporean dollar, about half the value of US currency).

10

Well that certainly makes a little more sense of things.

General advice applies if just the black is not printing. Use the printing software to try and clean the print head automatically. If that doesnt work I think you can use rubbing alcohol to clean SOME parts, but be very careful, and if in doubt don’t risk it. (Unless you want another printer :P)

If you still need to print things elsewhere I know alot of Office Stores here in the US will print things for around 3 cents a page. That would come out to around $9 for 300 pages which isn’t too bad. The copiers I’ve seen them use are huge and make a loud WHOMP noise when it makes a copy. They probably copy at around 60 pages a minute, and orders of 1000 pages or more aren’t uncommon, so don’t be hesitant to go that route should you need to.

Hmmm… on reflection 300 pages might more than drain a standard inkjet cartridge, so the Office Supply store might save you some money.

Or, if you have a friend you don’t mind losing you could always go over to their place and ask if you could “just print something out real quick.” :smiley:

(All prices quoted are US Dollars.)

11

And here I was expecting this to be “Self to Instinct - Go immolate yourself!” and I couldn’t wait to hear about the latest publishing war…