Send Wikipedia to the Historical Figure of Your Choice

I had some time in my hands over spring break, so I broke into a Rhymer Industries field office with the intention of stealing myself a personal time machine and causing some havoc. Problem is that I’m apparently bad at the whole cat burglar thing, and only stole a prototype that can transfer one small object back in time, but with shocking accuracy.

I also managed to snag a device about the size of a standard tablet that has some cool technology on it. It contains some top-of-the-line biometric security that will key to the first person who uses it. It will also be able to make itself understandable to that person via some rather amazing language-recognition software.

The tablet contains every Wikipedia article exactly as it exists at the exact moment that you’re reading this thread. Embedded hyperlinks that go to Wikipedia itself will still work though, of course, links to the rest of the internet will not. When the tablet is first picked up, it will open to the Wikipedia home page and convey (via technology sufficiently advanced is magic) to its user exactly how to efficiently operate the device, as well as a general sense that it would be a Good Idea to not dismiss it immediately.

You get to send the 21 century’s tome of knowledge to the historical figure* of your choice, in the interest of causing as much havoc as possible. The tablet will only operate for the figure you choose, but he she could conceivably dictate large portions of it to be recorded if he or she were so inclined.

*or to some Joe Schmo, if you’d prefer

Leonardo da Vinci! (Oh, wait, maybe somebody did…)

Emperor Asoka.

I suppose I should add that I would be interested in hearing what you think might be accomplished or changed by your fiddling with the time stream.

Howard Hughes. Or maybe Steve Jobs.

The problem with sending all that info too far back is that one person will not be able to do shit with it. I don’t care who they are, they just aren’t going to have enough power to change things drastically. Whereas Jobs or Hughes could recognize the data and adjust their developments accordingly. Hughes could really jump-start post-war aviation and space exploration, for example. Jobs could skip entire generations of computer development, and be held back only by hardware issues.

Since you said that we can choose to send it to a Joe Schmo instead, I’ll send it to myself 30 years ago, the result hopefully being fame and fortune for myself.

Well, actually, since you state that this is “in the interest of causing as much havoc as possible”, I have some thoughts. Silenus (above) may be right that one person cannot change things drastically, but I think people who were already drastically changing the world might be in the best position to accelerate the chaos. First, send it to Hitler. He’ll see what mistakes he’s about to make, and (possibly) change them. This would also work with Lenin or Stalin.

The other way’s to send it to Edison. He (or his company) already had over 1,000 patents. He’ll be able to scrap the stuff that didn’t work and go for the stuff that did. If any team of technologists is in a position to hasten the timeline, this would be it. They might have the Internet before WWII.

I’d send it to me 40 years ago.

Ugg, the caveman. He could use the tablet to beat his dinner into submission.

Do I get another try, JB, or is it one-shot only? 'cuz, last time I did this, I just sent it to some random Englishman back in the early 1970s by the name of Douglas Adams, and all he did was write a radio show about it. Ok, and a book series and, eventually, a movie. Hardly the kind of havoc I was expecting.

My randomizer has picked some nobody guy in the Navy, by the name of Robert Heinlein, as my next target. Let me know when I can send it, ok?

Hannibal Barca, so that he can avoid the long grind of attrition after Cannae.

What would the world even look like if Rome had lost the Second Punic War? Havoc, indeed.

I’d send it to me, 50 years ago, just about to graduate from High School. I can think of lots of ways it could change my life, and possibly plenty of other people’s lives as well.

Anyone for 60 years?

The Head of State and Government of every European country along with the United States and Japan on June 27th 1914.

As always with this kind of transfer, I want to send it to somebody who already has standard-plug AC current available, so he can recharge it, so people prior to the 20th century are probably out.

If the interest is in causing havoc, then yeah, Hitler’s probably the best choice.

Send it to Adam & Eve.

The obvious person would be Aristotle, whose works effectively played the role of Wikipedia for most of the history of Western (and Islamic) civilization, and was, in his own time, in many respects an encyclopedist, synthesizing the ideas and discoveries of the Greek intellectuals who had gone before him, and the data about the wider world being returned to Athens from Alexander’s armies.

I am not sure it is a good idea, though. All the stuff about manga and obscure TV shows could really confuse people.

How did you get your hands on proofs for Dan Brown’s next novel?

I’d give it to the man in the iron mask. He spent a long time in prison, Wikipedia would be a good way to while away the years.

Nostradamus. Then he could at least get the spelling correct in his predictions.

Oh, I suppose we can assume that it has some innovative new tech that will keep it going through the person’s lifetime.

For people who would send it back to themselves - how do you think your younger self would react? Clearly the potential for quick personal gain is there, but what would you do with it after betting on a few long odds and becoming obscenely wealthy?