God, I hate that book…I read it as a child, and what I got out of it was, “Man, that guy is a jerk! The tree gives and gives and gives, and what does he do in return? He cuts it down! What an ass!!!”
Now, it has been 30-some years since I read it, so I may not be remembering the subtle intricacies of the story, or I may in fact be remembering it completely wrong, but there’s no way in hell I’ll ever reread it to find out because it’s the Most Awful Story Ever Written…
I’ll stop now, before I get started on To Build a Fire…
OK, how does that one get interpreted wrongly/in the worst possible way? I thought the message of that was “don’t be an idiot; Nature can kill you easily if you’re not smart and prepared.”
Oh, Lord, The Giving Tree. There was a thread a couple years ago here about that book that was at least two pages of people arguing over whether it showed unconditional love or abuse. I fall on the side of the latter–that kid/man was a total ass.
It is pretty pathetic how desperately Rudolph races to help those who tormented him. It’d been better if he’d made them debase themselves to get his help,
“Oh, I’m not good enough for your games, but now that you need my help, suddenly I’m great? My nose may be red, but at least it isn’t brown.”
The Rudolph one is downright scary. Santa pretty much comes right out and tells Donner that he should be ashamed of himself for having a kid with an abnormality.
Rudolph is shunned from their community until they find a way to exploit his handicap. Hurray!
How the Grinch Stole Christmas: it doesn’t matter if you live in a cave on a mountaintop a mile from your nearest neighbors. When other people want to party, you have no right to peace and quiet in your own home.
Shrek- I was put off by the “Water finds its own level” lesson. You’re ugly? You better find another ugly person to love you.
Grease- People ignore than Travolta changes for her as well. He becomes a jock, she becomes a…slut. It’s when they see how far each other was willing to go for the other, they cut through the bullshit and can get together. It’s not a bad message.
Dedicate your life to helping a lot of divergent tribes get together and form a country, and as you leave to return to England, they all turn on each other and start fighting.
Mulan: Pretending to be a boy and fighting for your country is just a way to get yourself hurt. The real goal for a young independent girl is to just find a rich man to marry.
The Rainbow Fish: If you’re different, no one will love you. Also, if you have something nice you should give it to other people because one person can’t have all the nice things.
Alice in Wonderland (2009): In imaginary worlds, whichever powerful monarch you have allegiance to is ALWAYS right and should crush all other entities with claims on land. Wait… that could work in real life too, couldn’t it? Yay, let’s go colonize China!
EDIT: Aaaannnd I just realized that the two conflicting powers in Underland are THE WHITE QUEEN and THE RED QUEEN. WTF?
Actually on that note, the original Alice in Wonderland: Nothing interesting happens in real life. Live with it.
Also - that abusive bully who destroys property, refuses to get a high school education, and harasses and molests girls until they answer extremely personal questions about their sex lives just to be left alone? Really just needs to be loved. By the girl he harasses. Yeah.
Pretty Woman: If you’re poor and trying to raise money so you can go to college and better yourself, forget it - just get yourself a sugar daddy (preferably for keeps), because money makes you awesome. Who needs college?