Sensitive ass SUV drivers

The BBQ Pit
41

Thanks, Ukulele Ike. I felt it necessary to say something here simply because when I did move here, from Las Vegas (a place where it rarely rains, let alone snows) the only 4x4 I could afford was a SUV. I didn’t drive like an idiot then, and I don’t now. I drive in a fashion that gets me from place to place in the most safe, effecient way possible, while at the same time conveying that which I also need to carry with me.

hastur, please go back and review your post to me. When you see that the boldface disappears at my quotation marks, you should be able to figure out what was inside them. And, in keeping with that, I offer you the opportunity to kiss me in the middle of my lilly white ass. :smiley:

42

This is exactly the kind of crap why many SUV drivers are morons. A fucking expedition doesn’t handel anywhere near as well as a smaller car. It is a simply matter of physics. It is much bigger and much heavier, and has a much higher center of balance. I live in Colorado, people here have had full size trucks for years, I would esitmate maybe 15%-25% of the cars on the road are trucks, not to mention the full size vans that are probably as heavy as many SUVS. The reason there wasn’t a problem was that they drove like trucks. Everybody who got in one realized instantly that it was different than a car, and drove accordigly. And because of this realistic feel many people were too scared to drive them and didn’t.
Then the Assholes at car companies got together and decided to fuck us all. They gave us huge SUV’s that have the break and steering feel of a car. Every damn soccer mom on the planet can get in a SUV and feel just like driving the taurus station wagon she traded in for it. And these people run around telling every one how it drives like a car. Well, It takes a hell of a long time to stop three and a half tons(and no the increased tire size doesn’t add anywhere near enough rubber to counter the increased momentum) but because they think its just like a car, they don’t figure it out until they kill somebody. An SUV is usually rear-wheel-drive, has a huge wheelbase, and 3 tons of metal pushing it through the turn. This means it has severe and unpredictable understeer(compared to the front-wheel-drive Taurus), another fact the average SUV driver doesn’t figure out until the first emergency, and they just killed someone. Although now that I think about it anybody stupid enough to think those behemoths handle like a car would seriously overcorrect and roll the fucker, if this didn’t happen, so they just run over someone, rather than falling over on top of them.
Just becuase we have the technology to make a SUV mimic the road feel of a sports car, doesn’t mean we changed the laws of physics.

43

I was gonna start a Pit thread earlier this week, something on the order of “SUVs are NOT compact cars!” because I had just come back from the clinic…where I had spent a good 15 minutes trying to get my car out from the pair of SUVs that had parked on either side of me. Good thing that clinics order KY jelly in the large economy size, or I’d never have been able to get into the car in the first place, let alone get it out of the parking space.

My main problems with SUVs is that the drivers tend to treat them as cars. SUVs are not cars, and you can’t see around them. Even if I’m not parked in a compact parking spot, it’s nearly impossible for me to safely exit a parking spot if an SUV is beside me. Sure, I’ve got mirrors, but they’re not X-ray mirrors. And I can’t make a right hand turn on red if I’ve got an SUV to the left of me, because I can’t see past it. The headlights on most SUVs will shine directly into my rear-view mirror at night, again causing vision problems.

Semis and busses don’t park right next to me. SUVs do, and there’s a LOT more SUVs on the road than semis and busses. I’d like to see SUVs classified and taxed as cars, not as trucks, and/or see special DL classifications for SUV drivers.

True, there are SOME people who use SUVs responsibly, but these people are few and far between. Ditto for those who have a real reason to choose an SUV over a car.

I’ve got a lot more to say on this subject, but I must remember my blood pressure.

44

Some folks are saying “Why get down on SUVs? If you get hit by a semi, it would hurt more.”
=-=-=-=-=-

I feel it should be noted that a good number of us despise semis as well.

I drive on I-25 in Colorado, every weekday, to get to work. Sure, a good 50% of the automobiles on the road are SUVs. Of that, maybe 1 in 10 are climbing Pike’s Peak on Saturdays with it, or trotting around MDs in thirty feet of snow on “A Very Special Episode of Quincy” or whatever. The rest – let’s be honest here – are fucking morons.

Between Loveland and Longmont there is a stretch of I-25 where the minimum speed is 55, the official “limit” is 75 and the realistic limit, well, nobody gives a damn how fast you drive. There is nothing but scrub and corn between those two cities. So those of us in cars that can move hit the gas. There’s a mild incline to the road at that point.

3 out of every 5 days I’m driving to work in a given week, some hypercaffinated, severely mentally handicapped fucking geldo in an extremely oversized WalMart truck, or a random 18-wheeler that has never been washed in its existence decides that “now’s the time” to make his fucking move. He tries to get into the left-hand lane but he just can’t handle it. He winds up going maybe 65, sometimes 60, and single-handedly backs up traffic for a couple miles. His “buddy” or “nemesis” driving a Ryder or a traffic-cone orange “Schneider” semi is in the right lane, presumably snickering at the other dude’s attempt to become Alpha Male. They have their little war right there on the highway and those of us sitting behind them swear and swear and swear. The guy in the right lane speeds up and the other dude pulls over. And those of us trying to get to our jobs have simply wasted more of our lives for no reason other than humanoid stupidity.

These people are worse than what the SUV camp can offer and I feel they should be called out in this thread as well. I hate them. But mostly I pity them. But mostly, I hate them.

(I do cut off SUVs on the highway every single chance I get. When your mpg is below 13 and the date is later than 1945 you lose your right to even the basest of human decency and roadside courtesy.)

45

I get 12. You wanna start taking away my rights?

46

Regardless of driving skills or biased opinions, why is it that when a person chooses to travel on our highways in a car that weighs 500 pounds, has 10 inch wheels, and sheet metal that you can see through, they always think it’s the other person’s fault that they’re having trouble coping with discrepancies between the vehicles?

47

>I get 12. You wanna start taking away my rights?

12?!? Christ. Well, I guess not, if you’re going to start shelling me with rounds from your Abrams tank, or shuttle crawler, or whatever the hell you’re running around in that gets 12mpg. Sweet Jesus.

48

I would, but as your head is there I wouldn’t want to compete. :wally

49

Wolfman…

So, genius, you think and Expedition has the exact same steering mechanism of (to use the popular example) a Geo Metro? Goddamn-motherfucking-shitpile-hell NO!

Don’t tell me that an Expedition’s handling is shot to hell, because I can tell you otherwise, my ignorance-embracing friend. It won’t be able to take a corner at 50 MPH, but for a car that size, it’s handling is very, very excellent.

Now, please remove that huge, spiny stick from your ass before you post any further, 'k? There’s a good boy.

How the hell is that a problem with the Car manufacturers? They gave the customer what they wanted, retard. They’d be assholes if they HADN’T given us SUVs with better handling.

The problem lies with people who don’t take the time to adapt to the car. Instead of being small-minded and petty, why don’t you try to get to the heart of the real problem… individual people? That’s right, it’s easier to whine like a little prick.

You’re giving me a headache, I have to give some credit to someone with intelligence now…

Lynn…

Thank you thank you thank you THANK YOU, I was beginning to think that everybody that hated SUVs was braindead.

Are SUVs assholes? Hell no. Are people who drive SUVs assholes? Hell n-- not necessarily (see next point). Are assholes who drive SUVs assholes? Yes. Just like how a portion of any group (be it religious, political, educational, satirical, whatever) makes the others look bad, the only times you notice an SUV is when an asshole is driving it.

So make fun of those assholes. By all means. Heck, I’ll join in. But the second YOU call ME an asshole because of what I’ve got to drive, you’ll get your small-minded ass called on it.

50

Ya know, I’ve avoided all the “SUV’s suck” rants before, but I see this particular line of “thought” in every one and really need to comment.

FreakFreely said:

WTF? When did they pass the law requiring me to need something before I can buy it? You don’t want to buy an SUV? Fine. Guess what? If I want to, for any reason, be it because I work on a farm, need to go in the snow, or just plain like the looks, you have no fucking right to get on my case about it. This is America for crying out loud. We have the right to buy whatever the fuck kind of car we want to. If I wanna buy an Expedition, I can. Do I need it? Fuck no, but what does that have to do with it? I want it, I can afford it, I don’t mind paying for the gas. No other reason is required, nor will any be provided.

Kiss my ass.

Fucking commies.

gEEk

51

No problemo, gEEk. This certainly is America, there’s no question about that. You’re certainly welcome to expend your hard-earned shekels in any way that you choose.

You know what, though? You park your big motherfucking SUV on MY block in Brooklyn, take up two parking spaces, bump into Lynn Bodoni’s compact (just in case she’s visiting me), flash your hi-beams in my rear-view, and let your car alarm (heaven knows you wouldn’t want the lower classes meddling with your ride) go off in the middle of the night, I’M gonna assert my Rights as an American to slash your fucking tires with drywall knife and piss in your gastank.

You want to be an arrogant prick, good for you. The rest of us will join you.

52

Well, I think I’m going to start an “Envious Little Car Drivers” thread, just to keep an even keel here :smiley:

53

See, that’s the point. There are just as many morons driving Honda’s who can’t park 'em, can’t drive 'em and flash their high beams. Guess what? They’re all assholes. You wanna slash their tires? Go for it.

I didn’t say I wanted bump into Lynn’s compact, take up two spaces or flash my high beams. You assumed I would based on the fact that I want to drive an SUV. Are there any other baseless generalizations you feel like making?

I’d be willing to bet I can park my E150 extended cargo van better than you can park your little Metro. Size has nothing to do with it. You wanna see skill? Watch a truck driver back a rig up to a loading dock. That’s slick.

Why are SUV drivers singled out? I smell bandwagon. Yep. That’s it. Two years ago it was sports cars (who really needs a Ferrari?) now its SUVs (who needs a Suburban?) next week it will be sport bikes (who needs a Ninja?). Stereotypes are for idiots who can’t think for themselves.

BTW, if I catch you near my tires with a knife, you’ll find out what else that big ass trailer hitch is good for.

gEEk

54

I’ve got a Geo Tracker. No, I don’t use the 4x4. Yes, I like how I look in it and I like taking the top off. Fuck off. I notice that nobody’s brought up the fuckers in the little “sporty” numbers that weave in and out of traffic at 90 MPH. Drive like a human being and you won’t get hit by one of those scary big old SUVs. You don’t like parking between two SUVs? Park at the end of the lot; work with the limitations of your tiny-assed go-cart.

But for all of you Metro, Mustang, Z3, and other little bitty car drivers, it’s up to you to remember that if you cut me off, I can’t stop as fast as you can. I won’t ride your ass if you don’t stick it in my face.

Stofsky

Don’t have a quote yet, but shut the fuck up seems like it might be a good one.

55

Let me get this straight

  • Those who by a vehicle because of the way it looks are assholes
  • Those who by a vehicle because it is safer than others are assholes
  • Those who by a vehicle because it offers features they might rarely use are assholes
  • Those who by a vehicle because it makes them proud are assholes
  • Those who by a vehicle and don’t use it for all of its intended purposes are assholes
  • Those who buy a vehicle that is more expensive than yours are assholes
  • Those who by a vehicle that is different from yours are assholes

Have I got all this right? This is what I’ve picked up from this thread. What a bunch o’ fuckin’ geniuses we’ve got here!

Tell me please, you whining fools, why, exactly, do you drive your car? Do you constantly take advantage of all of its features?

I don’t own a sport utility vehicle because I don’t want one. It’s that fucking simple. The fact that I don’t want one does not automatically make assholes out of all those who do. I’d like to remind all of the sniveling whiners in this thread that your personal preferences are of no importance to anyone else. Drive your car, ignore what everyone else chooses to drive and, for fuck’s sake, shut the fuck up. You’re an embarrassment to humanity.

56

drive what you want, I don’t care. Piss me off, and I care.

THe only thing that pisses me off about the some fucking SUV owners, are those that bitch and moan over the high price of fuel…poor me, oh my…

you should have done the research asswipe, you should have know that the reason you have a 44 gallon tank is because you only get 12 mpg on a good day.

beyond that…do what you like.

57

You want an SUV? Fine, whatever. My problem with SUVs? Well, they often happen to belong to a select group of people who piss the hell outta me anyway. Rich suburban white kids whose parents bought their car for them on their 16th birthday. Why an SUV? “My kid drives like shit, and when he takes out another car, I wanna make sure he lives long enough for me to get him a bigger one.” or, “Well, every other soccer-playing rich white kid in his highschool has one, its my duty as a parent to get him one.”

SPOOFE, I am guessing this is how you came by your SUV, and I think it’s just stupid. I would guess your family has about three cars, your brother and you either each have your own nice SUV, our you have one which the two of you use exclusively, and although you take the time to fill up the tank the actual car and the insurance were paid for by the folks.

If I am wrong, I don’t need a long talk about felching tacos, those never really impress me. If I’m wrong, then I’m sorry, this is a pre-emptive apology. It may be that your SUV is a family car etc. Then you don’t apply. I still hate those rich fucks driving daddy’s wheels trying to be a big man. Fuck them.

58

They haven’t, and they shouldn’t. But just because you can do something doesn’t give you the right too. You’re talking about your rights, what about ours? How about our right to have a decent environment? Our right not to get crushed? Have some fucking consideration, you Limbaugh wanna-be.

Actually, we do have that right. It’s called freedom of speech. It’s the same freedom that allows me to make the observation that you’re a fucking asshole.

People like you always seem to use this as an excuse to do whatever the fuck they want.

By law, you do indeed have that right. You also have the right to buy a semi if you feel like it. The difference is, you have to get a specialized license to drive a semi. Whereas any pea-brained fuck can drive an SUV.

This line of “reasoning” works when you apply it to drugs and the like. But SUVs are dangerous to everyone else, not just you.

Great! Now, where can I buy that nuclear missile I’ve been wanting?

You mean that thing on top of your shoulders?

Ahem, I’m a socialist, thank you very much.

You’ve proven my sig wrong. I guess you don’t have to be smart to be a geek. It’s amazing how much can be learned from the folly of idiots. That’s why I always let SUV drivers go first.

59

Ah, good. I see that c & p has made and ass out of me.

60

Not quite. It’s not that all SUVs are driven by assholes. But all assholes do drive SUVs.:rolleyes:

Look, nobody’s saying that. And it’s fine to buy something you don’t need, unless it’s at the expense of everyone else. That makes someone an asshole.

So, did you read the replies before you posted? Who the fuck are you talking to?