Movie studios - don’t they just love it when you pony up eight bucks to see a flick that turns out to be rather reminiscent of something else, only not as good?
With that in mind, let’s restore some honesty to the film industry by renaming and retaglining these misleading movies to the way they should be.
A few to get you started:
Maid in Manhattan is…
Pretty Woman II - This time, she’s not a whore.
The Recruit is…
24 Academy: Their First Assignment
Daredevil is…
Batman 5 - This Spring, red is the new black.
Equilibrium is…
The Matrix Rebranded
Under Siege: Die Hard on a Boat
Under Siege 2: Die Hard on a Train
Passenger 57: Die Hard on a Plane
God, ain’t it the truth. I happened to be watching Under Siege the other day, and I had forgotten how many of the plot points were stolen verbatim from Die Hard.
“How do we kill the first victim?”
“Let’s have the head bad guy shoot him right through the forehead!”
“I wonder how we can get the hero to escape this exploding helicopter?”
“Have him jump off the edge holding onto some kind of rope or something!”
“How can we get the hero out of trouble when a bad guy’s drawing a bead on him?”
“Have the one person who has expressed a complete unwillingness to fire a gun shoot the bad guy!”