Serenading Michelle

clears throat

“we’re all sensitive people…with sooooo much to give… understand me, sugar…”

[tunes up the old Martin]

"No more bread lines, I’m glad to say,
The Donkey won Election Day
No more standin’ in the blowin’ snow and rain…
He’s got things in full sway,
We’re all workin’ and gettin’ our pay
We’ve got Franklin D. Roosevelt back again!

Back again
Back again
We’ve got Franklin D. Roosevelt back again
Since Roosevelt’s been elected
Moonshine liquor’s been corrected
We’ve got legal wine, whiskey, beer and gin!"

Ahem. Sorry. It’s not overly romantic, but it’s got a beat and you can dance to it.


::Hoping Michelle can’t resist songs about dogs::

Me and my Arrow …

A point in every direction is like no point at all

I went to your father and I asked him for you.
Your father said, “Take her, oh take her please do!”
“She won’t cook or sew and she won’t scrub the floor!”
So I put on my hat and tip-toed out the door.

Woody Guthrie

“If ignorance were corn flakes, you’d be General Mills.”
Cecil Adams
The Straight Dope

Gimme fuel, Gimme fire, Gimme that which I desire!

“Me and you and a dog named Blue…”

Mi, mi, mimimimi, mi. <ahem>

"If I were you,
And I wish that I were you,
All the things I’d do,
To make myself turn blue.

And I suppose
I’d start by removing all my clothes
And tie my pantyhose
Around my neck.

I’ll be that girl,
And you would be right over;
And if I were a field,
You would be in clover;
And if I were the sun,
You would be in shadow;
And if I had a gun,
There’d be no tomorrow…"

Actually, I guess that’s pretty creepy. But I’ll still be impressed if anyone can tell me who it is and the title of the song is.

“Bodie, I noticed you stopped stuttering.”
“I’ve been giving myself shock treatments.”
“Up the voltage.”
-Real Genius

I donate my song to some needy male:

“…And if you need me, girl I’m always there
Just take my bones out, remove the hair
And if you call out I’ll catch you later
I’ll be waiting in your refrigerator
Diced into neat little squares
'Coz the best thing for you is a gigantic stew
It’s the answer to all your despair
Oh girl, don’t try to be tender
Just make with the blender I
want you to know that I care.”


“I’ll be your breakfast
I’ll be your dinner
You won’t get hungry
You won’t get thinner
Don’t take offense now
Don’t think me rude
But if you need me
I’ll be your food”

-Hungarian Love Song
The Jazz Butcher Conspiracy

The screen door slams,
Michelle’s dress waves.
Like a vision she dances across the porch,
as the radio plays.
Roy Orbison singin’ for the lonely.
Yeah, that’s me and she wants me only…

Hey Flypsyde.
Barenaked Ladies off of the Stunt album. The song title is I’ll be that girl.

What’s my prize?

Judging by the thread, I will assume it involves a picture of Michelle in a tight white sweater.

Well, shut my mouth. It’s also illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling.

Well, I’ll go with the obvious:

Michelle, ma belle.
These are words that go together well, my Michelle.
Michelle, ma belle.
Sont les mots qui vont tres bien ensemble, tres bien ensemble.

Or if you prefer:

Oh Mickey, you’re so fine
You’re so fine, you blow my mind
Hey Mickey! Hey Mickey!

I’ll shoot for offbeat and quirky.

Hmmmmm… hmmmmm… hmmmmm!!!

Ready pop? Yep.
Ready son? Uh-huh!
Let’s go!
Let’s go!
One! Two!

Lolly Lolly Lolly, get your adverbs here.
Lolly Lolly Lolly, got some adverbs here.
Come on down to Lolly’s, get the adverbs here
You’re going to need
If you write or read,
Or even think about it.

Lolly Lolly Lolly, get your adverbs here.
Got a lot of Lolly, jolly adverbs here.
Anything you need And we can make it absolutely clear…

An adverb is a word…
(That’s all it is, and there’s a lot of them)
That modifies a verb,
(Sometimes a verb! and Sometimes)
It modifies an adjective,
Or else another adverb.
And so you see that it’s positively, very, very, necessary.

Lolly Lolly Lolly, get your adverbs here! Father, son and Lolly selling adverbs here! Got a lot of adverbs and we make it clear, So come to Lolly!(Lolly! Lolly! Lolly!)

Hello, folks. This is Lolly Senior, saying we have every adverb in the book, so come on down and look!

Hello, folks. Lolly Junior here. Suppose your house needs painting. How are you going to paint it? That’s where the adverb comes in. We can also give you a special intensifier so you can paint it very neatly or rather sloppily.

Hi. Suppose you’re going nut-gathering. Your buddy wants to know where and when. Use an adverb and tell him.

Get your adverbs!

Use it with an adjective, it says much more,
Anything described can be described some more.
Anything you’d ever need is in the store,
And so you choose very carefully
Every word you use.

Use it with a verb it tells us how you did.
Where it happened, where you’re going, where you’ve been.
Use it with another adverb at the end,
and even more…

How, where, or when,
condition or reason,
These questions are answered
When you use an adverb.

Come and get it!

Lolly Lolly Lolly, get your adverbs here.
Quickly quickly quickly, get those adverbs here.
Slowly surely really, learn your adverbs here.
You’re going need 'em,
If you read 'em,
If you write or talk or think about 'em…Lolly!
(Lolly! Lolly! Lolly!)


If it’s an adverb we have it at Lolly’s!
Bring along your old adjectives too, like slow, soft and sure.
We’ll fit 'em out with our “l-y” attachment,
And make perfectly good adverbs out of them!

Get your adverbs here!
Lots of good tricks at Lolly’s, so come on down!

Lolly, Lolly, Lolly!

Adverbs deal with manner, place, time…
Lolly, Lolly, Lolly!
Condition, reason…
Father Son and Lolly!
Comparison, contrast…
Lolly, Lolly, Lolly!
Enrich your language with adverbs!
Lolly, Lolly, Lolly!
Besides, they’re absolutely free!
Lolly, Lolly, Lolly!
At your service!


Livin’ on Tums, Vitamin E and Rogaine

May as well get in the spirit:

We were made for each other
As boy is for girl and
As Soul is for Soul
You enchant me with a smile
And steal me away with a kiss
I need you with me
From your beauty I gain strength
From your laugh, eternity
You have captured my mind
I cannot lose your image
And would not if I could
For the image is more
Than a thousand armies have died for
To have you in my arms for a moment
Is to fulfill a dream
Yet I dream still another dream
I dream of us together
And I sleep
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

And now, for something completely different:

My Michelle

Your daddy works in porno
Now that mommy’s not around
She used to love her heroin
But now she’s underground
So you stay out late at night
And you do your coke for free
Drivin’ your friends crazy
With your life’s insanity

Well, well, well you just can’t tell
Well, well, well my Michelle

Sowin’ all your wild oats
In another’s luxuries
Yesterday was Tuesday
Maybe Thursday you can sleep
But school starts much too early
And this hotel wasn’t free
So party till your connection call
Honey I’ll return the key


Well, well, well you just can’t tell
Well, well, well my Michelle
Well, well, well you never can tell
Well, well, well my Michelle

Everyone needs love
You know that it’s true
Someday you’ll find someone
That’ll fall in love with you
But oh the time it takes
When you’re all alone
Someday you’ll find someone
That you can call your own
But till then ya better…

Now you’re clean
And so discreet
I won’t say a word
But most of all this song is true
Case you haven’t heard
So c’mon and stop your cryin’
'Cause we both know money burns
Honey don’t stop tryin;
An you’ll get what you deserve

–Guns N’ Roses

Mull, I can’t really promise you much other than a beer next time you’re in central Illinois. You’d have to ask Michelle herself for that pic.

And, folks, you gotta love DB, don’tcha? She’s just so damn romantic.

(Sorry, Drain, two smart ass responses to your posts in a row. Must be my lucky day.)

“Bodie, I noticed you stopped stuttering.”
“I’ve been giving myself shock treatments.”
“Up the voltage.”
-Real Genius

Well, we’ve been milling around out here all damn day with our git-ars and dulcimers and portative organs, and Michelle hasn’t even come to the window.

I get the feeling that Odysseus is going to show up any minute and kick ALL our asses.


Isn’t that supposed to be me and you and a dog named Boo???

So far the winners in the serenade contest are Sly, Drain Bead, and manhattan. :slight_smile:

i can try to arrange something in the way of a picture of me in a white shirt. Since I live in FL I don’t own too many sweaters.

I crave an art that passionately transcends the mundane instead of being a device for self-deception.–Griffin, from The Griffin and Sabine trilogy.

Odysseus my eye! Time to crank up the voltage…

She’s like the wind, through my tree…
She rides the night, next to me.
She leads me to moonlight, only to burn me with the sun.
She’s taken my heart, she doesn’t know what she’s done…
I feel her breath in my face
Her body close to me
Can’t look in her eyes
She’s out of my league
Just a fool to believe I am anything she needs…

I’ve got a great idea
And wouldn’t you like to know
You probably can’t bear it
So I guess I’ll have to share it
I thought of it a moment ago

It starts with your hand in mine
And next comes a little stroll
You probably won’t buy it
But I’m trying to keep it quiet
So please don’t tell a soul

'Cause if you do
The world and you
Will think I’m crazy and give me medicine
They’ll drag me away
And as I go you’ll hear me say
I could have been a decent match for Edison

Ideas are few and far between
And good ideas are rarer still
So listen and be wise
Just forget the other guys
'Cause my idea’s no good for three
My idea is you and me

How do you like that! And without so much as a “Kiss my foot” or “Have an apple”!

Hey Uke, you’re gonna need a banjo for this one!

She walked through the corn
leadin’ down to the river,
her hair shone like gold
in the hot morning sun.
She took all the love
that a poor boy could give her,
and left me to die like a fox on the run.

Like a fox, like a fox,
like a fox on the run.

Traditional bluegrass tune, various artists

The overwhelming majority of people have more than the average (mean) number of legs. – E. Grebenik