Many years ago, I went into a stall in the women’s restroom at a drive-in theater (I am a woman, so I was entitled to be there).
Someone, presumably male, had written a phone number on the wall, adding the message I AM ELEVEN INCHES.
I rummaged in my purse and found an eyebrow pencil to write a response. I just could not resist the temptation to write WOW. MY BARBIE DOLL REALLY WANTS TO MEET YOU.
On the stall door: Free Chili!
Underneath : free tacos! free burritos!
It cracked me up.
In a similar vain, in a stall at work, someone wrote “my weiner touches the water”.
I’m torn between two answers.
Either A) put the seat down dumbass
or B) in Soviet Russian, it is the water that touches your wiener
“QUESTION AUTHORITY”
“why?”
In the old engineering building at NAS Jax, the emergency information was posted on a placard that was titled “FIRE BILL” - naturally, someone had to write “Bill, you’re fired.”
Engineers - what a wacky bunch!! 
FREE TIBET
with the purchase of a tibet of equal or lesser value.
I saw this when I was a kid and had accompanied my mother to the University of Pennsylvania for some reason or other. A long long time ago, when Ivy League tuition was a fraction of what it is now.
In the basement ladies’ room in the main library, a sign on the paper towel dispenser said: ONE TOWEL DRIES BOTH HANDS.
Below it:
“For $10,000 a year I’ll take two thank you.” (I said it was a long time ago.)
“Is it the tree’s fault you couldn’t get a scholarship?”
Also:
“What if they’re really super-wet?”
“Why do you think God gave you pant legs?”
“I hate fags, there all full of AIDS”
Below that
“Hey dumbass, it’s “their”. Learn English”
And below that
“Actually, it’s “they’re””
How come I’m the first to note:
“God is Dead” -Nietzsche
“Nietzsche is dead” -God
Anyone can piss on the seat… be a hero and shit on the ceiling.
Question authority!
Then
So, feel free to ask me anything.
Another one which was strange was:
Iowa!!!
Jesus saves!
Everyone else takes damage.
“To do is to be - Descartes
To be is to do - Sartre”
Followed by
“Do be do be do - Sinatra”
Followed by
“Yabba dabba do - Flintstone”
Or, as I said on a particularly damp day, after a tree dripped heavily onto me, “Dew or dew not, there is no dry.”
(I know it’s not graffiti, but it’s too good a line to pass up.)
Here’s one from junior high (some 20+ years ago) that stands out in my mind:
Probably because you saw this thread before I did
Guess I should apologize in advance for the next one. It is in terrible taste, offensive, irreverant, and banned in seven states, but…
Jesus is coming!
Are you gonna spit or swallow?*