I’m Grant.
Stephen
Bo
Eth.
Doug
Contrary to most people, I actually love my first name. It’s not too popular, yet it’s timeless and classic. I don’t even mind being called Dougie by some.
Nice try NSA…
Oh well, they know already, I’m Ed. Short for… wait, someone is at the door…
.
Marty
Mark
Ned
Raymond, but it’s pronounced “Throatwarbler.”
Holy crap, what do I do? Holy crap, what do I do?
(You idiot, it’s already there!)
Jim
George
Nunny.
Guess. 
If I told you, you’d know.
And you wouldn’t want that to happen!
(What, me threadshitting? 
)
JJ
Joel
Joey.
Joey Joe Joe Jr. Shabadoo.
Nyarlathotep.