Seriously. What's Your First Name?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
101

I’m not worried. It’s all part of my master plan to deceive people into not believing my first name is really my first name, but then stop and think what if he’s using reverse psychology, and then decide I am using my real first name, and so then they’ll go aha! His first name is really Daniel after all.

But secretly I will be changing my identity… forged birth certificate. Name change. New social security number. I’ll replace all my blood with Worcestershire sauce, so no one can guess my blood type. Then I’ll get plastic surgery and turn myself into a… you guessed female? Wrong again, dingus. Giant praying mantis WITH A JET PACK!

HAHA! Now you’ll never guess who I am. I’m Jet Mantis, which is probably the coolest name you can possibly have. With a name like that, I’ll be getting laid for sure. And then I can say “Eat me” and it will mean two things.

102

Me too. But some of my family call me Jool or Julie (or hey you).:slight_smile:

103

Jack

104

So you’re A. Xmas Carol? That’s a dickens of a combination. :dubious:

105

Ewt??

106

Shhhh, he’s Agent 99 and now you’ve blown it.

107

Uh, Doug. And when Strange Brew came out I wrote a fluff review for it in my college newspaper as a conversation between Bob and Doug K.

108

Forgive a post that’s longer than others here, but the thread title prompts a story I’ve told many times over the years.

I was given the name Richard Michael XXXXX at birth, from my dad (also Richard) and my dad’s best friend.

However, my parents divorced when I was less than two years old. No doubt not wanting to be reminded of my dad, my mom’s side of the family started calling me Mike.

Flash forward to elementary school. First day of the term, and the teacher is looking over the class roster, calling out names and asking students to raise their hands to identify themselves. As the name on my birth certificate remains in effect, she gets to me and calls out “Dick? Where’s Dick?”

Stifled guffaws emanate from the rest of the class as I sheepishly raise my hand. Even back in the late 50s/early 60s, no one was called Dick any more.

After two or three years of this, I learned to be proactive. I would approach the teacher before the first class began and say “See my name there? Please call me ‘Mike.’”

When I was 12 or so, I had my name legally changed to Michael Richard, and my worries were behind me.
The irony is, right about that same time, my mom remarried — to a guy named “Dick”! He had three sons by his first marriage (and unusually for the time, had custody of them). The middle son was named after him, and went by “Dickie.”

My brother endured this through his teen years, but upon reaching adulthood, made it clear that henceforth, he wanted to be known as “Rich.”

We honor that request when he’s present, or course. But old habits die hard, and when he’s not, my mom, stepdad and I still refer to my brother — who will turn 60 in April — as “Dickie.”

109

Rick. But bup is a real-life nickname I answer to.

110

*“That’s the worst name I ever heard!”
*

111

Yancey.

When I was in the seventh grade, I started going by my middle name, Lee.

That’s what most people call me now.

112

Is you last name Fry?

113

Gwendolen here.

114

I don’t even answer that question in the REAL world, except for legal documents. I hate my legal first name; anybody not a relative who wants to call me that is not my friend. It’s always some variation of my last name.

115

calls out to the Cyclops
Ullysses…!

“Hey…hey… get this down. Steve… Dallas…”

116

Call me Ishmael.

117

I get Jool or Jools. One of the doctors went to call me ‘Jools’ one time and decided she might have been taking a liberty I wasn’t prepared to grant, so stuck the ‘ia’ on the end thus making me Joolsia, which also stuck. :smiley:

118

Scott. Not impressive, but what are you gonna do?

119

Siam.

No, wait. Seriously. It’s Donald, but I go by Don.

120

ok, its not Ullysses. But honestly, who wants to know? Who even cares…?