Sex Is A Fucking Part Of Life!

The BBQ Pit
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(Fair Warning: Religous, or other people who are easily offended, proceed at your own risk, as I don’t give a fuck what you think, this is a Pit rant.)

Begin Rant, not directed at any Dopers:
I am sick and fucking tired of this country (US) going apeshit over sex. Fuck, it’s a normal part of life! We Americans are so indoctrinated by religious mores saying that sex is BAD, we are scared of are own dick, or cunt. FUCK, SHIT, FUCK!

Oh, BTW, I don’t need any Andrea Dworkin type bullshit responses here, I am NOT talking about rape or pedophilia, take that to the appropriate threads.

I am saying that the US is AFRAID OF FUCKING SEX! Even perusing some SDMB threads, you get the idea…“sodomy” is still illegal in many states, “dirty mags” are still kept under the counter, Focus on the Family and their ilk are active, TV censorship (like you can show Dennis Franz’ hairy white ass, but you cant see female nipples. WTF is up with that?), not to mention a couple queer guys or gals can’t walk down the fucking street holding hands or kissing w/o ppl freaking out, at least in “Main Street America” This is bullshit!

People still look at you weird when you buy a box of rubbers, or spermicide. (I look em in the eye and say “what are you lookin at, at least i’m gettin laid”)

Where did Pat Robertsons goofy son come from? Pat fucked somebody. He laid in fornication. Oh, but sex is ok if you’re married. WTF, half of marriages end in divorce because somebody was fucking someone else! This happens to religious people too, Doh!

Fucking hypocritical politicians: “We promote family values.” Shit, JFK, Clinton, Gingrich, Gary Hart, all the rest of the fuckers, ad nauseum, blah blah.

I am not open to debate this, you might say “Well, the will of the people is Sex should be kept in the closet,” I am just pissed. (and yes i did get laid recently :slight_smile:

Europe, the UK, and AU have had sex on TV in primetime, or at least on tv for many years, and I bet their rates of sex crimes are lower than ours. (hell, brothels are legal in many parts of AU, and they are doin bang up biz in Sydney during the Olympics)

What the fuck is so “evil” about sex? It’s because religious assholes say it is. (yes, I mean you, flame the fuck outta me if you want.) Maybe it is what the majority of the people want, fine, but most of you are hypocritical assholes.

Would you rather your kid watch a movie with a woman gettin slashed with a knife or fucked with a dick? Apparently the former, since “Halloween” is rated R, and “Insatiable” (Marilyn is one of my favorites) is rated X.

As an aside, “20-20” or such ran a show where they sent kids to R movies to see if they could get in…most every theater they went to they got in.

Well, I have blathered on long enough, you get the point.

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I agree, although I never really thought about it until I moved here (UK). Here you have references to and see things on tv you’d never see in the States, e.g. full-frontal nudity (male and female), sex scenes (soft-core), sexual language and strong curse words, and lots of other bizarre things. (E.g. in the show “Eurotrash” there is a flying turd during the themesong, and “A Life of Grime” is almost unwatchable – after nearly 2 minutes of watching dogs pooping, I just had switch the channel. Ugh.) Clothing catalogs do not airbrush out nipples and pubic hair on the lingerie pages. Half the newspapers regularly feature topless women. R-rated movies are nearly always shown completely unedited on normal tv channels.

Ironically, though, I believe hard-core pornography is illegal here. I don’t think porn videos or mags are allowed to show erect penises or penetration. (A UK native might be able to verify/clarify this.)

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Canada also has less restrictive censorship guidelines. One of our public networks is running “The Sopranos” in a 13 day episode 13 day format to let viewers here catch up with the show. Otherwise, you need HBO to see this wonderful show. The network has received very few complaints.

Americans must be having sex because everytime I check there are more and more of you, there are just a bunch there (and here) who don’t like to admit it exists.

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There are media censorship guidelines, such as the TV-rating system and MPAA, that are so screwy. They would allow real killing to show on TV, on the 6 o’clock news for crying out loud, but not hardcore sex even late at night. Yet, we have the rating TV-MA, for adults only. I mean what is the use of having an adult rating if you don’t push the envelope and show people having sex???

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Yup, we can watch a man blow the shit out of people’s brains, in slow-motion, with all the wet and gory effects…we can watch a child become a killer, we can watch a person be slowly tortured, sliced apart, and cannibalized…but God forbid we see actual intercourse on the screen. :rolleyes:

What does this communicate? Violence is a normal part of life, acceptable and unavoidable, but sex? Shhhhhhhh!

As far as buying condoms or spermicides, I can say I cannot remember a single time when a checker has given me A Funny Look. Considering checkers see everything go through their lines, this kind of thing doesn’t seem to phase them. (Unless, of course, you’re buying condoms, bananas, maple syrup, whipped cream, a dog collar and chain, and a National Geographic magazine featuring the primates of central Africa…)

Although, heh heh, one time was pretty funny–the Llama and I were at the store buying condoms and lube one evening. The checker said a friendly standard farewell, “Have a good night!” Whether she was suggesting something or not, we thought it was a pretty damn funny comment.

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To spread a rumor, I’ve heard that Pat Robertson’s son was born soon enough after his wedding to lead many to question when, exactly, he was conceived. (Of course, you’re supposed to say, “The first baby can come at any time, all the rest take exactly 9 months.” ;))

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Good rant, Klaatu!

::applaud::

scores (out of 10):

coherence: 9
anger: 9
unselfconsciousness: 10
accuracy: 9 (i.e. how well your opinions agree with mine)

overall score: 9.25

Well done! I’m always impressed with a good, unselfconscious rant. The foreword was my favorite part – <paraphrase>If you’re easily offended, fuck you</paraphrase>

Very nice.

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Sex is great.

Or so I’ve heard.

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It’s funny, a few months ago I was in a drug store for the purpose of buying condoments. So I go up to the register with some larger size condoms and lube, she (the cashier)grins as she rings my stuff up, looks me in the eye and says, “Looks like someone’s gonna be having a good time.” I smiled at her and said, “Yes, of course” Too bad she doesn’t work there any longer otherwise I’d go make a deposit. It’s been a while now…sigh.

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my BF refuses to buy condoms, out of embarrassment. I try to tell him that the checkers won’t judge him, they’ll just be jealous. He doesn’t believe me. Oh well, one day he’ll break down and by them. No condoms=no sex. He won’t last much longer. :wink:

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Silo- I have nothing wrong with All-American things like hot dogs and hamburgers, its the sex in your post that offends me.

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Threemae, didn’t you read the OP and title–Sex Is A Fucking Part Of Life!?

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“Sex is a part of life!”

Not my life, it isn’t.

::sigh::

–Tim

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Recently the British Board of Film Classification allowed some leeway on erections, but their ruling was so incredibly confusing and vague that no one seems to know what the law is now.

Ironically, the BBFC has allowed erections and penetration in “arty foreign films”–Lars von Trier’s The Idiots was one.

So, obviously, the way to make a porn film in the UK and get it shown is to make it in a foreign language, call it something like People Are Talking, and precede the sex with two people sitting in a cafe discussing philosophy.

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So we decided to ignore all the fucking puns in the fucking OP?

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I was going to, but it was too obvious :slight_smile:

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Comment on the puns, that is.

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I really dont’ make a big thing of it when I check someone out at Kmart who is buying condoms. I just scan them and put them in the bag.

The only time I was grossed was when I saw the guy who was the cafeteria manager at our school buying condoms. This is the guy who worked the cash register and made our food.
It was somewhat TMI.
I mean, yeah, he’s married, he has sex, but I don’t want to think about it…

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[quot]Threemae, didn’t you read the OP and title–Sex Is A Fucking Part Of Life!?
[/quote]

You mispelled condoms as condoments. I just thought it ws sorta funny. Never mind…

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Well you mispelled quote :stuck_out_tongue:

My mis-spelling was intentional :smiley: