Sex Partner Statistics

I was thinking that maybe one could tell what kind of person you are most likely to be able to have sex with by looking at the percentages of the ones you’ve already succeeded with. This is giving me some interesting data, but I’m not quite sure what to do with it.

I’m lucky to be of fairly average sexual experience (9 sex partners if you don’t count fellow male participants in three-ways, and I don’t), so I can break it all down in my head rather quickly. My ex-wife would probably need to close some programs to free up resources for the spreadsheet.

Here are some of the interesting trends I’ve noticed…


Married - 4
Single - 5

I’m guessing this is not normal, even though one of the married ones was married to me. One of them was in a marriage of convenience for work reasons and one had just had her divorce papers finalized, so I guess it’s not as bad as it looks, but one of those under ‘Single’ had been living with her boyfriend for a couple of years, and I’m just guessing that another was single because I don’t know anything about her.

VERDICT - Marital status doesn’t seem to matter much


Atheist - 1
Muslim - 1
Christian (Catholic) - 3
Christian (Protestant) - 1
Pagan/New Age - 1
Unknown - 2

A majority worship the same god - though an Atheist I seem to have a preference for followers of God/Allah. Whether this predicts an ability to score with Jewish girls is yet to be determined. Catholics are the largest single group, though I swear I wasn’t seeking them out. I usually don’t even know they are Catholic until later. Maybe they are coming after me.

Anyway - statistics point me towards Daughters of Abraham, preferably papists.


Short and Overweight - 4
Tall and Overweight - 3
Short and Average Weight - 2

Well. Maybe I should start cruising Lane Bryant’s. I have an account with them…

I’m not entirely sure myself whether this is a preference of mine or just the way things work out. I usually end up with aggressive women who make the first move, so maybe these statistics say less about me and more about them.


Red (natural) - 2
Red (brunette) - 1
Brunette - 4
Blonde (natural) - 1
Blonde (brunette) - 1

Even if you don’t count the ones that dye it something else, brunettes rule this list, with natural redheads coming in a distant second.


(all ages are at time of first sexual encounter)

18 - 1
20 - 1
22 - 1
30 - 1
34 - 1
36 - 1
app. 35 - 45 - 1
? - 1

If we disregard the one whose age I can’t guess (she looked older than 20 and younger than 40, I have trouble guessing the age of people of her race and it was dark), and guess about 40 for the well-preserved mother of a 17 year old daughter, we get an average age of 28.25.

So, what does this say? I think it says that I need to spend more time with 28 year old Catholic women who are short, overweight, and have dark hair. Sounds good to me.