Thank you for the great answers. Myself, I like younger men (my husband was 4 years younger0 and were I to marry again, that’s one of my must-haves; younger.
Found it. If you’re interested in gender ratios by geographic and age, this is pretty cool. Find out why men/woman in countyX can’t get good dates. Choose a geo area and age group.
Her instant comment: “I’d gladly take you up on it; you beat the heck out of the garbagemen and ex-cons who respond to my Match profile.”
Ouch! I was at a loss for words at that one. She’s a capable and sweet person and is just one of millions in a similar boat. It paints a vivid and painful picture.
If you ask me, the really sad part is her lumping garbagemen with ex-cons.
It’s a shame that society doesn’t value people like garbagemen more. These guys are out there working hard and doing an extremely valuable service for society.
True. I thank janitors & such whenever I encounter them. Dirty jobs are honest jobs.
But she’s got a master’s degree and makes a (WAG) top 10% percent living by the standards of black womanhood. She’s looking for more education, income, and “class” than the typical garbageman can offer her. Sweet thought he may be.
Were I single I could pursue lawyers or I could pursue waitresses. There are both nice and nasty women in both careers. All else equal I’m more likely to be fulfilled in a more equal relationship. Unless I was looking for a pet to dominate. Which is unhealthy, and is especially unlikely to succeed where the dominant role would be the woman.
And, equally, the garbageman, or any man on a lower income, might feel like he doesn’t want to pursue a relationship with someone on a totally different income level to him.
Going out on dates where you are unequal in income is always difficult. Pursuing a life together is too.
It’s not about personality; if one of you can afford to buy a large townhouse, and the other can barely afford to rent one, how do you choose where to go on dates? The high-end venue the richer person is used to, or the low-end place the poorer person is used to? Both can be good, but the odds are the richer person will want to go to the high-end places at least some of the time.
And their friends will talk about their holidays in places you’ve barely heard of - that goes both ways - and the richer friends will talk about getting a loan to build an extension on their second home, while the poorer friends will talk about applying for a second loan to pay the rent on their apartment.
People living in different worlds will always find it difficult to have a relationship beyond friendship or friends with benefits. Not impossible, but there will be significant obstacles in the way.
Thanks for this link! Not just for the male/female ratios, but because it is a great visualization of the demographics that drive nations. You can see the “greying” of Japan, the extreme youthfulness of 3rd world countries, and the subtle bulges in the older population that typify the western counties. It’s edifying to click between countries, just to see the shifts in demographics clearly delineated.
Why do you believe this to be so?
I had a feeling that this was happening.
As I wrote that I was thinking of my (black) dental nurse. Although the sentence appears in the paragraph where I was talking about (white) me. Sorry to send a mixed message.
The larger context was an SO as a pet, a kept person who, if not sexually submissive, was/is at least the follower in most (all?) other aspects of power dynamics & economic dynamics within the couple, and relatively extremely so.
Take a quick look at recent/current US tradition, US demographics, and typical US attitudes among the 40+ yos I was referring to, and especially within the black sub-community. I think it’s pretty obvious that male leadership with female followership is more common. And the more extremely unequal the power dynamic the more that is true. Hence my conclusion.
That’s what we in business call “revealed preference” although to be more completely honest I’d call it “revealed preference under the admittedly gender-unequal environment of the US in 2020.”
Whether that ought to be true, whether it’s necessarily true for all cultures in all places & times, and whether it’s equally true for, e.g. US 23 yos as it is for e.g. US 65 yos are very different questions with probably very different answers.
Not in the Erectoral College.
It’s also a job that doesn’t require a police check, making it attractive to ex-cons who can get it.
A friend of mine was a science teacher. He said he once told his high school class, “you better learn this unless you want to end up working as a garbageman.” One kid sticks up his hand and says “My dad is a garbageman and makes $28 an hour working for the city.” At which point, all the boys in the room start chanting “garbageman, garbageman, I want to be a garbageman…”
The lesson he learned was be careful what you say.
My brother was a garbageman. He retired at 50, younger than any of the rest of us in the family. The major downside was a bad back from lifting those heavy cans.