[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Dinsdale *
**Color me priggish, but I don’t see why the movie was improved by a shot of Linda rocking on top of her stud with breasts a swinging. **
I would think that such a scene would improve any movie myself.
This is probably exactly why they put it in. The fact of the matter is that you absolutely cannot market a movie toward adults (or teens) if it has a G rating, and it’s very difficult to do so with a PG rating. The public has an appetite for both sex and violence, and the swinging breasts and explosions are merely catering to it. Heck, I like James Bond movies, so count me in there too.
To the OP: Violence is easier to take because violence is present in their lives from toddlerhood. The first time you see a kid pick up a toy and bop his playmate it becomes an issue that has to be dealt with. If there are siblings in the house, some violence is inevitable. As parents, we have to set boundaries on this subject right away. With regards to sex, though, the exact opposite is often true. Many parents do everything they can to hide sex from children. They want to delay knowledge of it as long as possible, to preserve that unwarranted notion of childhood’s innocence and purity. It’s silly, unrealistic, and counterproductive, but it’s nevertheless often true.
I watch movies with my wife and children, ages 6, 7, 12 and 14 (the children, not my wife). We can watch anything violent because we can either explain it to them (the difference of right vs. wrong, good vs, evil, etc), or shield the little one’s eyes from the gore. And the little ones are quite saavy and insightful in knowing right from wrong.
But it is far more difficult to explain the many different sexual situations and tensions (not nudity, btw, which is not a problem) beyond the “they are close and in love,” especially when the characters are not married (which is almost always the case).
I’m not seeking out movies of this nature, but the kids loved, for instance, Titanic, in which our heros found the back seat of a car very appealing. Was hard to explain away and maintain the notion of morality.
[QUOTE Violence is easier to take because violence is present in their lives from toddlerhood. . . .With regards to sex, though, the exact opposite is often true. **[/QUOTE]
You are right that this is not true, Wrath.
I think a big part of this is that we try to desexualize our kids. As if humans don’t think or feel anything sexual until about the age of 15.
I didn’t need psych 101 to tell me this isn’t true. I remember when my son found the wonderful little present he had in his diaper. He played with it 24/7. He was out of diapers and still found his little toy irresistable. I had to explain to him that, although the penis was his and he had every right to touch any part of his body he wanted, nobody wanted to watch him do it.
I find this so much simpler than hiding and shaming. It is the same general approach most parents use with violence. Listen. Understand. Explain. But I think this is the answer. We are not ashamed of violence (or our enjoyment of it) but the same cannot be said of sex.
I am in complete agreement with you here, Biggirl, but I think we may be in the minority, at least here in the US. So many parents are in complete denial of the fact that our sensual nature is born with us. I find it much healthier to accept that my children, from birth, enjoy their bodies. Yes, they do have to learn, eventually, that our society frowns upon certain things. But I would never, as is quite common even today, push my baby’s hand away from his/her genitals because that is dirty/nasty/whatever. In fact, I find myself feeling somewhat wistful while watching my younger children (the older two have become modest) enjoying “naked time.” They are so wonderfully unselfconscious. It seems almost sad when they become aware of societal pressures and find it necessary to hide specific parts of their bodies just because our society says we should. (And before you think I’m some kind of wacky, nudist type, please understand that I am probably more modest than the great majority of our fellow posters.)
Another problem of sexual portrayal is that it seems that everybody in literature and media is having sex, except for married people. There is surprisingly scant material in fiction about married couples getting it on with a passion matched by the Harlequin novels. Any source of whirlwind passion in a married person comes from affairs outside the marriage. This rampant and constant media portrayals of adultery and affairs out of wedlock, as well as the use of sex appeal to sell things, makes it hard for morally upright parents to explain to children about positive human sexuality, in the face of this oversaturation of sexuality as commodity. Even if they want to have a thorough talk to the children, they would have to search very, very hard for media aids for the children and themselves, media that depicts positive sexuality and at the same time upholds the virtues of marriage. So tragically they seal their lips about it, or worse, they just tell children that exploring sexuality is bad and must not be pursued.
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Sex (as in sexual intercourse) is “natural”, as eating or drinking. Violence may or may not be practiced by an adult.
True. But this doesn’t explain why parents and the public in general will let their children witness, read about and participate in violence and not sex.
Now, by participate I don’t mean actually killing someone or having sexual intercourse. You are much more likely to hear: “Don’t let anyone push you around. If someone hits you, you defend yourself and hit them back” than "You like her? Did you kiss her with tongue or without?
Of course, your conversation with your child should be age appropriate and I’m sorta exaggerating to make a point. There is not much we can do about our society’s little dance of titilation and shame.
My parents never shielded me from sexual, or violent stuff. But somehow, my society did seep into me.
I have lots of fun “beating up” on my friends, but I have only on one occasion in my recollection EVER hit anyone in real anger (and that was when I was about 8). I never thought about sex other than it was… well, I won’t say bad, but definitely something that was bad for me.
I do really object to this portrayal. I mean, for as many kids out there that disregard society’s messages of “violence being bad, sex being bad” etc, there are some who take it deeply to heart.
Sex is something natural and good, the very thing that keeps us going, and yet it’s put on par with killing people? I see something really wrong here.
I believe that any parent who is sheltering his/her child from sex and violence is doing nothing more than taking the easy way out. It is much more uncomfortable for you to talk to your child honestly about the implications of violence and sex, than it is just to say “It’s bad. Don’t do it.”
The real trick is making your child understand the difference between (what you believe) is ‘healthy’ and ‘unhealthy’ sex, and when (if at all) violence is justifiable.
I also believe that being exposed to, and having knowledge about, these subjects from an early age helps you to better understand them and make better decisions regarding them. I was a precocious reader as a little kid,(the only kid in fifth grade reading ‘Insomnia’) and consequently was exposed to lots of things. It hasn’t caused any damage so far, partly because of my parents allowing me to slowly become exposed to the less presentable aspects of reality and explaining them as they came along.
I began reading Hareliquin (SP?) Romance Novels when I was in 3rd grade. (I picked it up when I took a break from Gone With the Wind). I loved it, and from the age of 9 until about 13, all I read was romance novels. My parents knew this, and they didn’t have a problem with it. But I was not allowed to watch rated-R movies (For sex or violence.) But mainly becaues of the violence.
Because I always read the books, I was never curious about sex, never wanted to experiment. I mean, I knew it all! (OR thought I did anyway) Contrasted to my BF who was completely shielded by all things sexual. By the time he was 12, he was staying up late watching porn, 14, he was on the computer for hours looking at porn. Why? Because he was curious. Now, I’m not saying porn is “dirty”, but it’s a lot more, well, harsh way to be introduced to sex than romance novels.
You can see the difference between the two of us. Because I was taught sex is a wonderful, and beautiful thing, that is not a taboo subject, I’m much more open, but at the same time, CAREFUL. But I have a fairly healty outlook on it. However, my BF still thinks it’s something dirty, to be hidden.
My point is? Sex is not a dirty thing, and maybe our society should stop teaching everybody that it is a horrible, disgusting thing.
