Shakespeare with Emoticons

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I had the following conversation with my little sister the other day.
Sis: Speaking of (philosopher David) Hume, I was listening to somebody say “Hume says…” and I’m thinking “Have you even read Hume?” Because I just read some of his work, and he says the exact opposite.
Me: Yes, but he was being sarcastic. You see, the emoticon hadn’t been invented yet, so he couldn’t put a smiley face at the end of it to let everyone know he didn’t really mean it.
Sis: <laugh>
Me: I mean, just think what Shakespeare could have done with the emoticon.
And so, without further ado, here is Shakespeare with emoticons. (Hamlet Act 2, Scene II)

Polonius: Do you know me, my lord?
Hamlet: Excellent well; you are a fishmonger. :slight_smile:
Polonius: Not I, my lord.
Hamlet: Then I would you were so honest a man. :wally
Polonius: Honest, my lord. :confused:
Hamlet: Ay, sir; to be honest, as this world goes, is to be one man picked out of ten thousand. :stuck_out_tongue:
Polonius: That’s very true, my lord. :rolleyes:
Hamlet: For if the sun breed maggots in a dead dog, being a god kissing carrion, :smiley: – Have you a daughter? :wink:
Polonius: I have, my lord. :confused: :confused: :confused:
Hamlet: Let her not walk i’ the sun: conception is a blessing, but not as your daughter may conceive. :smiley:
Polonius: :eek:
So, now I challenge the Teemings. What works of literature can you improve with emoticons?

2

Any of you amused by this, will also likely be amused by Kyberneticist’s efforts to paint the Guernica using emoticons.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=51970

3

Well, I liked your witty OP. :smiley: :smiley:

Found it searching here for a source for adult emoticons. NOT porn, just grown-up
stuff that would be a cut ot two above the kiddie emoticons which I could download and use in my emails.

Anyway, I’m sorry your OP wasn’t well received. It deserved better. :frowning:

4

Ooh, fun!

Why, I can smile :slight_smile: and murder whiles I smile :eek:
And cry ‘Content’ :cool: to that which grieves my heart :frowning:
And wet my cheeks with artificial tears :frowning:
And frame my face to all occasions :rolleyes: :dubious: :stuck_out_tongue: :o ;j
I’ll drown more sailors than the mermaid shall :eek:
I’ll slay more gazers than the basilisk :mad:
I’ll play the orator as well as Nestor :wally
Deceive more slyly than Ulysses could :wink:
And, like a Sinon, take another Troy.
I can add colours to the chameleon :mad: :o :slight_smile: :rolleyes: :frowning: :confused:
Change shapes with Proteus for advantages :smack: ;j
And set the murderous Machiavel :mad: to school
Can I do this, and cannot get a crown? :confused:
Tut, were it further off, I’d pluck it down :smiley:
– 3 Henry VI

5

The best thing to do is to start a new thread linking to this one, instead of reviving a zombie.