Mrs Miggins: I’d always hoped you’d settle down and marry me.
BA: Mrs. M. If we were the last three people on earth, I’d try to start a family with Baldrick.
Ya know, I had a Blackadder sig before Coldfire posted it here. So ha! 
(Not quite the original, but it captures the original flavor.)
BA: “Baldric, your steak in Bernaisse sauce tastes like dog feces in glue.”
Baldric: “That’s because it is, sir.”
I have found a site here: http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/8889/bladder.htm that gives some Blackadder scripts.
This one’s hard to relate since it’s so reliant on British pronunciation. Remember to soften all the trailing Rs while reading aloud.
Edmund: I need a word that starts with an R.
Baldrick: Apple?
Edmund: No, I need a word that starts with an Rrrr [rolls R on the tip of his tongue in near-Spanish fashion]
Baldrick: Motorcycle?
There are so many, it’s hard to choose.
But “…as guilty as a puppy beside a pile of poo” has to be one of my favourites.
I thought the funniest single episode was the witch-hunt one, with Witch Smeller Pursuivant. I howled with laughter at the trial. “Milk! Milk! Bloody milk!”
Baldrick: “A vow of silence - how terribly interesting! Tell me about it…”
If you want to see other such fun by Rowan Atkinson, he did a series of shorts as the ninth Doctor from “Doctor Who” as benefits. My understanding is that at one point they got Joanna Lumley from AbFab to play a regenerated Master. Evidently Atkinson is a huge Who fan.
I also have the text from two standup skits he did for an HBO (?) special, one as a minister telling the real story of Jesus at the last supper, and the other playing the Devil doing a little intro speech to a bunch of new arrivals. Too choice. (“And then there’s the… would you please stop screaming?!? Thank you.”)
Esprix
I can’t remember the context of this, but I just remembered Baldrick saying something about a lady “and the chocolate chastity belt.”
Esprix - I’ve seen that special too, and it about made me pee my pants. My favorite skit from that is the one where he pretends to be playing the drums. Stupid stupid premise, but it’s one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.
And a quote from that devil sketch:
“French. Are the French here? Excellent. Over there with the Germans, please.
Now, Christians, Christians. Over there please. Sorry. The Jews were right.”
(to Mr and Mistress Ploppy, no relation): My, how the long winter nights must just fly by.
BTW, Esprix, I believe your quote is from Lord Percy Percy, not Balders.
picmr
How can you guys forget this:
Baldrick in any episode “I have a cunning plan …”
One of my personal favorites has to be from BAII, from Flashheart:
“Heeeeey Nuuuursie! I like it firm and fruity! Am I happy to see you or did I put a canoe in my pants?!? Down Boy!”
I love Nursie–she has some true gems out of her mouth:
“… and I said ‘Lord be praised, it’s a miracle, a boy without a winkle!’ and Sir Thomas Moore reminded me that a boy without a winkle is a girl…”
Ah yes, Nursie:
“Don’t have too many good ideas, or your foot will fall off”
Queenie: “Does that happen?”
Nursie “Oh yes. My brother had this good idea of cutting his toenails with a scythe, and his foot fell off.”
Hmmm and yet nobody has mentioned my favourite bit - when in BAIV Lord Melchett and BA are at HQ and Melchett points to a small square of turf on a desk saying something like;
Melchett: “and this is the territory we have recaptured since 1914…”
BA; “Er, who scale would this be Sir?”
Melchett: “No. This IS the territory we’ve recaptured.”
Nobody has mentioned the bitter sweet quality to the final series that trancended most comedy shows, even earier BA series. The final episode where they go over the top brought a tear to my eye…
Paraphrased from Blackadder Goes Forth:
“Millions of men are dying in the trenches so every month the General can move his liquor cabinet 6 inches closer to Berlin.”
Everyone’s quotes are hysterical! Thanks for contributing.
So now I’m wondering, with BA’s popularity as great as ever, will they do a Blackadder V? Set in, say, 1940, during WWII? Maybe all the cast members are now so successful they all have their own things to do. Still, we can hope!