Share your favorite little hostess-y tips for dinner parties

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Dopers, what are some little tricks you use to make a dinner party run smoothly? Here are some things I find helpful:

  • Write the guest’s name on both sides of the place card. Put it on the front so the guest will know where to sit - and on the back where guests across the table can see it. That way, people who have just met will know each other’s names.

  • Play music without lyrics. Lyrics are distracting to conversation.

  • Keep vases of different sizes in a handy cupboard because people often bring flowers. Have scissors nearby, too, to cut through the floral wrapping paper.

  • Tape a sign on the downstairs loo so guests can find it easily.

  • Have dinner and dessert in different rooms. I serve dinner in the dining room. For dessert, I set up a buffet table in the library or the family room. I set out the the coffee urn, the dessert and liquers on it in advance. When we leave the dining room, I close the doors on the dining table mess. Everyone goes to the dessert table in the other room, helps themselves, then settles down in the living room to enjoy dessert and to continue chatting. It’s much pleasanter than having dessert and after-dinner drinks amidst the rubble on the dining table.

Those are my hints for smooth entertaining. Dopers, please share yours.

2

Serving de-caf to unsuspecting guests so that they tired sooner and leave faster.

What?

3

Personally, I buy the super absorbent paper towels and set several rolls out so my guests can just grab a big ol’ wad as needed and don’t have to use their sleeves to wipe their mouths. It’s much more couth that way.

4

Sigh. I should have known better. :smack: In my eagerness to get a conversation going with other hospitable homemakers and maybe a few party-giving gay guys, I forgot how many smartasses we have here. Never mind. Mods, would you slap a lock on this one and put it out of its misery, please?

5

Go get Amy Sedaris’s book on the subject. It’s eye opening, to say the least!
here are my tips: fire in the fireplace or if outdoors, some contained place. Fresh flowers. Good wine or someone good at mixing drinks. Food of some kind.

And intelligent guests.

Voila!

6

[QUOTE=Sonia Montdore]
Sigh. I should have known better. :smack: In my eagerness to get a conversation going with other hospitable homemakers and maybe** a few party-giving gay guys**, I forgot how many smartasses we have here. Never mind. Mods, would you slap a lock on this one and put it out of its misery, please?
[/QUOTE]

Bolding mine.

Hi. I’m a party giving gay guy and a smartass. Any questions? :dubious:

Plus, aww, let the thread live! Hell, who knows, somebody serious might even answer.

7

Well, typically my guests all know each other, so I don’t bother with place cards, although I do assign seats. Rule number one is that couples aren’t allowed to sit beside each other, which used to drive people nuts when they came to my house, but everyone is used to it now.

I think it’s nice for couples to be able to talk to someone other than their spouse once and a while, also, as I have no spouse, it means that at least two people will talk to me. :smiley:

Also, when making guest lists, if I’m including one couple with kids, I make sure to include at least one other so that the kids can play together, and no one gets self conscious if the kids are a bit loud - could be my kids, could be their kids, who can tell? That sort of thing.

Personally I like to play clasic guitar for background music - I’ve never met anyone who doesn’t enjoy it. Ottmar Liebert & Luna Negra is one of my faves - upbeat enough to encourage people to eat, but unobtrusive enough that it doesn’t stifle conversation.

8

[QUOTE=alice_in_wonderland]
Well, typically my guests all know each other, so I don’t bother with place cards, although I do assign seats. Rule number one is that couples aren’t allowed to sit beside each other, which used to drive people nuts when they came to my house, but everyone is used to it now.

I think it’s nice for couples to be able to talk to someone other than their spouse once and a while, also, as I have no spouse, it means that at least two people will talk to me. :smiley:

Also, when making guest lists, if I’m including one couple with kids, I make sure to include at least one other so that the kids can play together, and no one gets self conscious if the kids are a bit loud - could be my kids, could be their kids, who can tell? That sort of thing.

Personally I like to play clasic guitar for background music - I’ve never met anyone who doesn’t enjoy it. Ottmar Liebert & Luna Negra is one of my faves - upbeat enough to encourage people to eat, but unobtrusive enough that it doesn’t stifle conversation.
[/QUOTE]

Thank you, Alice. It was a very kindly post (even if, as I suspect, you made it out of pity.) You are a mensch.

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[QUOTE=Sonia Montdore]
Thank you, Alice. It was a very kindly post (even if, as I suspect, you made it out of pity.) You are a mensch.
[/QUOTE]

It wasn’t out of pity - I’m actually interested in the topic. I really like your idea of moving from the dining room into a different room for dessert and coffee - I’m actually trying to think of a way that would work in my very small condo. I do have a buffet that seperates the living room from the rest of the place where I could set up dessert items - I suppose I could get a folding screen to seperate off the dining room when dinner was over…

It’s actually a very good idea - personally I hope more diner entertainers show up with ideas.

10

I was just thinking about this very subject the other day… which is odd because I never entertain.

Your tips are good ones, Sonia and I have none to offer. I do have a question, though.

There seems to be two camps of entertainers, those who prepare all things ahead of time so that the host/hostess can enjoy and those who leave preparations to be done with their guests getting everyone “involved”. Do you have a preference? Are there pitfalls to either?

11

I was at a party last night…my oldest and dearest friends, and one teenager home from college. Instead of the usual “lay out the snacks on the counter and serve buffet style” we decided to just plop everything on the dining room table and sit there family style, so that no one had to get up except for drinks…though I think that was to be the teenager’s job. So that experience isn’t going to lend itself to any hints…hey, we’re practically family!

But when I do a buffet, I like to lay out all my serving dishes, empty, ahead of time, to make sure everything fits and that there is a good flow to the foodline…making sure of where to place napkins, silverware, what needs a spoon, etc. Then I put a piece of paper or a Post-iT in the dish so I know what it’ll be used for. That way I have no surprises. Of course, when it comes time to actually serve, someone always cuts in line in the middle and then is desperately searching for utensils…I like to put the silverware and napkins at the opposite end from the plates…less to fumble with as you go through the line, and then you can pick just the utensils you need or don’t need.

12

I’m always running around looking for vases and then having to wash them because they are filthy, so I’ll have to do better at remembering to get them out ahead of time.

I like to make up a large pitcher of cocktails ahead of time, obviously people can make themselves a drink at the bar if they prefer, but many go for the ready-made, especially if it’s one of the more complicated ones that has more than two items.

Our kitchen is very open, and dirty dishes out in full view drive me nuts, so I stack a lot of them in the (cold) oven once the sick is full. If guests see dirty dishes out, they will be helpful and start washing them, which I actually don’t like because they should be guests, not kitchen maids. (Plus, I am sort of a control freak about my dishes and I have a system.)

Extra TP in the bathroom, nothing is worse than being a guest in someone’s home and having to slink around looking for for a replacement roll. I actually thought about this for ten minutes before I posted – but I think I would rather see it out in plain sight (tacky, I know) rather than have to hunt for it.

13

[QUOTE=Ruby]
I was just thinking about this very subject the other day… which is odd because I never entertain.

Your tips are good ones, Sonia and I have none to offer. I do have a question, though.

There seems to be two camps of entertainers, those who prepare all things ahead of time so that the host/hostess can enjoy and those who leave preparations to be done with their guests getting everyone “involved”. Do you have a preference? Are there pitfalls to either?
[/QUOTE]

Ruby, both types of entertaining are fun. It’s a matter of the degree of formality.

Like most Americans, I mostly give informal parties where eveybody, as you say, “gets involved.” I ask close friends to bring casseroles or desserts. When guests arrive, I put them to work setting the tables, choosing cds, tossing salads or mixing margharitas. I ask for help because these parties tend to have anywhere from six to 40 guests, and I genuinely need help. But another reaon for putting people to work is that it’s a fine ice-breaker for people who are shy or who are first-time guests in my home. After informal parties, close friends will usually stick around to help tidy up, and I’m glad of the help.

But smaller dinner parties for six to ten people are also a lot of fun. I don’t want the guests to do anything but show up, eat the food and amuse one another with their chatter. With a dinner party, I do as much as possible ahead of time. I don’t ask people to bring food or help in the kitchen. I set the table 24 hours in advance and plan the menu so I can do most of the cooking in the afternoon. Often, I’ll serve soup as a first course and will present the rest of the meal buffet-style in chafing dishes or on hot plates on the sideboard. Soup and buffet dishes are easy to prepare and set out in advance.

When the doorbell rings at 7:00 p.m., I like to be nicely dressed and neatly coiffed, ready to greet my guests while smiling serenely, a wine glass in my hand. I don’t want them to find me rushing around the kitchen with my hair in rollers frantically stirring the soup while trying to remember whether I’ve made the bearnaise sauce. After dinner, I like to lead my guests out of the dining room and shut the door on the mess. I don’t let people stick around and clean up afterwards - most of the time, anyway, they’re dressed too well to want to scrape plates and carry out the trash.

The reason I started this thread was to garner hints from other hosts and hostesses that would help me run dinner parties efficiently and keep that serene smile on my face all through the evening.

There really aren’t pitfalls to either type of party. It’s just a matter of planning. You should think about entertaining, Ruby. Start small, with a pizza party. Or invite your friends to bring pot-luck and you supply the drinks. It’s fun and the more you entertain, the easier it gets and the more your confidence and popularity increase. You’ll also start seeing that your parties encourage your friends to entertain.

14

Lots of booze.

15

[QUOTE=Sonia Montdore]
Sigh. I should have known better. :smack: In my eagerness to get a conversation going with other hospitable homemakers and maybe a few party-giving gay guys, I forgot how many smartasses we have here. Never mind. Mods, would you slap a lock on this one and put it out of its misery, please?
[/QUOTE]

Dear Lord, Sonia, what bit you this morning? Chill, sweetie.

Different people have different party ideas. Me, I don’t throw formal parties, mainly because I don’t have the space. Since I’ve been married my in-laws have become my friends and when we get together it’s generally with the kids too, a big informal gathering. (Of course, the last time I hosted Thanksgiving we did have a sit down dinnerl, and I must say, I totally rocked with the meal.)

So, food food food, lots of finger food that you can grab off the place and eat. I don’t want guests trying to cut a steak while holding the plate on their lap. The last few times we got together we had a murder mystery game to play, and I found bringing out a bowl of munchies (chips, nuts, etc) to where we were playing was nice.

Make sure you have good coffee. Folgers doesn’t cut it.

Lots of paper plates to cut down on the cleaning up is nice, and asking each person to bring something different (you bring the drinks, you bring the dessert, you bring the napkins) also helps.

16

Clean out and clear out your refridgerator as much as possible before time. I need ever spare inch. I like having parties in cool weather so I can chill beverages etc outside. A screened in back porch can be used like a walk in refrigerator in the right weather.

For a sit down party, I like to start with appetizers and also, I decorate each plate with a cut out of puff pastry to set the theme. To make it simple, I cut out shape from rolls of tube crescent rolls and paint them with colored egg and bake. I always bake a few extra of theses in case one over browns. I like to have some crudités, cut into charming shapes and some type of canapé.

I always test the recipe before, aiming serving at the same time I want to serve at the party. I look for recipes that have part of the prep the day before so I can get as much done before the day as I can. I like to have a sweets table for desert, and have that served buffet style.

When I serve wine, I have a sparkling cider of the same color of the wine for non-drinkers.

I do not let spouses sit near each other. I also try to separate those with similar careers. This is especially vital for those in medical related profession; at all costs do not let EMTs sit near each other; they might tell jokes.

Aprons are a must. A nice organza one can really save your dress and keep you from looking a fright. I choose an up do for my hair so it is less likely to fall into things or catch fire. I usually tie it back when cooking, anyway.

Phyllo dough from the store can add an elegant touch to many dishes. I make my cookies, candies, cakes, and pies from scratch, but puff pastry and phyllo are too much to bother with for a dinner party.

17

We don’t do formal parties because of kids.

We do a lot of “we don’t have anything going on, why don’t you bring your kids and around five we will call for pizza or chinese.”

Rules for these events: Invite people you enjoy talking to whose children will not kill your children. Don’t worry about a clean house (the kids will turn it into a disaster zone anyway), make sure the table and kitchen are clean and you have paper plates and cups. Run for pop before hand.

18

Hot food on hot plates, cold food on cold plates. People love it.

If serving a bird, ask the youngest male guest carve. It turns tradition on its head, but he has to learn and people are eager to help.

At family gatherings, or more informal dinners, put a disposable camera on the table to let people take pictures of one another.

Home made ice cream is well worth it.

19

Paper towels in the bathrooms are a good idea. Some people hesitate to use the elegant guest towels. Paper towels help ensure people will actually dry their hands.

Some people worry about too many desserts at a potluck. I say it’s a sign from the gods and one should be grateful and enjoy. Eat healthy at home tomorrow.

20

Say “brush” as you enter a room.

Have all your jewelry re-set. No need to have those feet planted solidly on the floor!