Here we go. More South Africa stories. I love that country.
We just went into the Kruger Park for the first time, with our rental Nissan Sentra. I know, not exactly a Land Rover, but we were planning on staying on the main paths anyway.
I’ve got two stories.
The first happened when we had only been in the park for about an hour. We had seen some impalas, but that was pretty much it. And what do tourists do when they don’t see animals? They start whining. So, being the adventurous types, we got off the main tarmac roads and hit the dirt roads, figuring we’d be more likely to see some interesting animals there.
Boy, were we right.
After driving for about 10 minutes without seeing a single road to the left nor right, we drive over a hill. My friend Louis is driving, and I’m fumbling about with my camera, getting it ready for some quality pics. Still bitching about the lack of animals, of course.
As we make it over the hill, we suddenly see a HUGE, old, grumpy male elephant right in front of us, in the middle of the road. Louis hits the brakes, and the car skids to a stop in a cloud of red dust. The elephant is at least 4 meters at the shoulder, about 10 meters away from our car, and obviously not pleased to meet us - as indicated by his ear movements.
In a hissing voice, I tell Louis to back the fuck up, and start making pictures. Then, another car approaches from the other side. Basically, the elephant is now looking back and forth between the two cars, and is obviously agitated.
He displays his dismay by PUSHING DOWN A 10 METER TREE by the side of the road. Louis uses this time to turn the car round, while I keep making pictures at the speed of light. All the while, the other car is still on the other side of the elephant.
Just as we’re facing away from the elephant, the other driver does the unthinkable. HE FLOORS HIS CAR AND DASHES PAST THE ELEPHANT AND US AT FULL REVS.
The elephant now goes COMPLETELY apeshit and starts running at the first thing he sees: our shitty Nissan Sentra.
I’m at this point sitting with my knees on the passenger chair, my upper body outside of the window making pictures. As I see the elephant approaching, I tell Louis to FLOOR IT, and quick!!
Lemme tell you, your heart skips a few beats when your mate doesn’t realise the car is in second gear, and almost stalls. Our acceleration was mediocre at best, and I’d say the elephant came as close as 5 meters from the back of the car as we were picking up speed.
Great pictures, but I almost shit my pants there.
OK, story number two. Elephants in the Kruger Park again.
This time it’s me at the wheel. On another dirt road, we spot a group of female and young elephants on the right of the road, some 30 meters into the bush. They’re eating off the trees, minding their own business. We drive by in first gear, at 5 km’s an hour to allow Louis to take some pictures. Suddenly, out of the corner of my eyes, I see another elephant on the LEFT of the road!!
It flashes through my mind: “Never get between an elephant and its calf”. By the rate of acceleration the left-side elephant is exercising, I’d say we did just that.
Instinctively, I floor the car. We’re speeding across the dirt road at some 70 km/h, as the elephant is making its way to the road diagonally.
We make it. But only by a small margin. Louis manages to get a beautiful backlit picture of the elephant that’s trumpeting its way towards our car at high speed. The backlight shows the crascks in the elephants’ ears, that’s how close it was! And the noise it made! Unbelievable.
We sped on, shouting maniacally: “Whooaahahahahaaa!!! That was TOO close!!”
Heartbeat 200, but we made it. Damn, that was some exiting stuff.