Once wrote back to our VP, copying my entire chain of command up to him, that the prototypes we were eagerly awaiting were "shitting in sipping"…
Had to put up with wisecracks about “new features” and “should we send out an advisory on these product about this…” for a week.
I didn’t write it, but I was once working with a fellow instrument technician as we were installing some new equipment that required some piping connections and fittings. He wrote a note to the lady working the counter at our supply warehouse, “I need to see your nipples. I’ll be back in about an hour, so please have them ready.” I almost hurt myself laughing so hard!
Just this week our Human Resources Division mailed out at least 10,000 postcards to employees advertising their training and workshops.
We all got them today. The grabber “graphic” side had a little conversation in quotes, in huge type, with the second line reading: “How Am I Suppose to Do That?”
My boss freaked; the rest of us laughed. No one in that entire division caught it? The printer didn’t ask? I mean, we are an institution of higher learning!
I had to send an update on something or another to a distribution list, and more than once, instead of starting off with,
“Hello everybody,”
I’d start it with,
“Hell everybody,”
Everybody assumed it was more of a Freudian slip than a typo.
A special edition of my profession’s monthly journal just came out. They run “teasers” above the title, giving a hint of what’s inside. This month’s issue includes
Disciplinaary Connections
No one thought to run a spell-checker on the cover text??
You know those perennial “forward this to everyone you know” emails about "Don’t open any emails titled ‘How to Give a Cat a Colonic’ or ‘It Takes Guts to say Jesus’ or ‘Budweiser Frogs Screen saver’ " etc etc etc “because it’s a virus and will erase your hard drive” – ?
'Twas Ahunter3’s third week in new employment at th big corporation, working in IT. Already had received three similar emails and had, as was my usual practice, done a reply to all (so as to reach other recipients), put the Snopes link up top, and asked that people refrain from warning everyone about viruses since the IT Department needed people to take authentic virus warnings seriously.
Well, this time around I was a bit more blunt in how I worded things:
Well, this time around, the sender was not another one of the secretary-receptionists or QuarkXPress creative jockeys but instead the fucking CFO of the umbrella parent megacorporation that owned our measly little 70-country / 290-office organization as one of many subsidiaries. And the distribution list to which he’d forwarded the stupid warning was essentially Everyone Everywhere in All our Subsidiaries.
:eek:
I got a personal visit from my boss, my boss’s boss, and her boss within 45 minutes, and a passing comment from someone about 4 tiers above that the next day as he passed through the IT Department.
My company’s HR department once sent an email informing us who won a gift certificate to the steakhouse accross the street - “Black Anus.” Boy, we had a good laugh over that one.
Our state exec sent a memo to locals asking us to be “in sink” with him. I amended it: I’d rather be in sink than in toilet.
I was once on a program in Israel whose initials were “M.M.”. The program got the natural nickname “M&M”.
We had a class every morning, and the teacher would start by handing out photocopies of sources we had to study. He would often write a cute line or two on the top.
One day, he handed out the sheets, and found all of us (between 10-20 18 year old boys) laughing hysterically. He must have thought that it was his great pun that caused the laughter. He wrote:
But the photocopier hadn’t copied the entire line. What we read was:
Well, Tibs, that should be the right class to address certain words in your coworker’s vocabulary (“niglets”, anyone?).
I managed to send out a 2MB email to everyone in the company’s US locations (more than 2,000 people). Wow, was that painful. Got many nasty notes and a personal call from IT. I always check filesize before sending now, but darn it, Outlook and Word really don’t work together as well as they advertise they do.