You know what I’m talking about–those goofy and downright ridiculous thoughts that sometimes flit through your mind and make perfect sense for about 2 seconds, until you realize just how stupid it really is.
Here’s a recent example of my own:
Last night, while watching TV I saw a car insurance commercial featuring the actor who plays President Palmer on 24 and I immediately thought, “Wow! How did they ever get the president to do a car insurance commercial?”
I’m just glad I didn’t say it out loud.
:smack:
I know I’m not the only one who has stupid thoughts like these…am I?
What are some of your stupid thoughts? Share them and make me feel better (or worse, as the case may be).
" If I wanted a pet that matched my hair, I’d have to get a dog, like a Finish Spitz or a Irish Setter, or an orangutan. I’d love of those, but do they throw shit too?"
I was working in the darkroom – one of my first times and struggling with the um dark and the whole not being able to see anything sort of experience. It occurred to be that I was experiencing what blind people have to contend with all of the time.
My next thought was along the lines of, “a blind person would find this reasonably straightforward. I wonder how many blind photographers there are out there?”
Which was all perfectly logical until I suddenly realised how rediculous it was.
There actually is a blind photographer (but I can’t remember his name) , and I was amazed how much one of his photos of Niagara Falls (American side ) resembled a shot I took at the same location.
So I was riding on the Long Island Rail Road in Forest Hills, Queens and I looked out my window at the big, famous tennis court and said to myself, “Oh, look, Wimbeldon.” Then I said to myself, “Self, you are a moron.”
I was watching late night tv and saw a long distance phone service commercial featuring Alf (the 80’s muppet-type tv show star). Without any delay the old brain pops up with, “I thought Alf was dead!?!”.
In my defense, it happened right after that big string of celebrity deaths a couple of months ago.
I keep seeing people on the streets with big jars asking for donations to “feed the homeless”. And I keep thinking, why? Wouldn’t it be better to feed the foodless, and find homes for the homeless?
I was a teenager and my family was finally able to afford a longer-than-a-day-trip to Ocean City, Md. We were staying at a hotel a block or so from the ocean. I remember lying in my bed the first night, window open, hearing the waves crashing on the shore and thinking “Wow! They don’t turn them off at night!”
I phoned the computer store and said, “Hi, I’m Jason Berger, you guys phoned to tell me my computer was in…” and the guy interrupted, “Hold on, I’ll check.”
Now I was already having a terrible day, time was of the essence, and I was definitely NOT calling for confirmation. I could hear this ass in the background, for minutes, moving boxes around and shaking something that sounded like a jar of coins. The entire time I was waiting I was bitching furiously to my girlfriend when this transpired, “God damn asshole! How long does it take? This isn’t rocket science!” Keep in mind that I was having a terrible day, because then I suddenly got worried and blurted out, “Omigod, what if I called NASA by mistake?”
My girlfriend laughed so hard at my earnestness that when the dink finally got back on I only half told him off because I was more concerned that my girlfriend might perish in some sort of fit.
I was in a contemplative mood the other night, driving home from dining out, and my thoughts go to our car culture here in So. California, and what it must be like for children to grow up in it.
Then I start thinking about my concept of automobiles when I was a kid… and a frequent cogitation of mine back then was “I wonder what animals think of cars.” I mean, it’s a valid question… cars must seem to be real oddities to animals… they behave like animals, but only when humans ride them… they sound like animals, kinda, but they definitely don’t smell like one… etc…
So I voiced that question for ladybug.
She looked at me like I’m a freak and said, “You’re so weird.”
I once referred to a seldom-seen aunt as “my aunt’s sister” as she is the sister of one my other aunts I visit more often. The person I was talking to then said, “Uhh, wouldn’t that also make her your aunt, too?”