Yes, isn’t it “cheating” her to falsely let her win?
You want the kid to enjoy the game. Obviously, playing baseball with a four year old puts you in a situation where it’s hard to lose… but you want the kid to have fun, right? So you lose.
If you keep winning, they get frustrated and “I never want to play that again - I always lose!” That’s not good.
Btw, you let your three year-old see Armageddon, Scylla? Now I don’t feel so bad about taking our three year-old to see Revenge of the Sith last summer! 
Uh, no.
It’s never fun to play a game with someone who isn’t even trying to win.
What’s the point?
(yes, I’m thinking from a child’s perspective - my parents did this to me and I felt terribly cheated and betrayed when I discovered the truth. Any good feelings I had experienced from “winning” anything in the past, whether with them or my peers, was immediately negated and belittled)
Or, you could just teach skills useful in that game, and enjoy time together. My father just taught us to bat, catch, throw, etc., but we didn’t play to win or lose. That kind of trouncing came later in life. :rolleyes:
Oh man, classic post again from Scylla. I haven’t stifled this much laughter in my cube farm since the blimps.
Indeed. My best experience of childhood (i.e. of my own and of my kid’s) teaches me that a child with more than the average self-knowledge, a child brought up to understand and affirm the difference between right and wrong, and true and false, will suss out pretty quickly when a parent is letting them win inappropriately. In other words, sure, let them win when it’s an open secret that you’re doing so, and they’ll be fine with that. They won’t feel cheated. But when they want a proper contest, usually as they get older, of course, respect them enough to give it your best shot. Then they know where they stand.
Yes, because when your four year-old yells “let’s race, Daddy!” I should flat out go and KICK HER ASS, EVERY TIME because it’s good for 'em!
Do I get to trash talk? “Take, THAT, Loser!!! Loser, loser, Sophie is a loser!”
:rolleyes:
Ahhhh… childrearing lessons from the childless. Aren’t they just precious?
We could use her in our Fantasy Baseball league, she interested?
Good god man, that’s rich.
Heh. My grandpa and I used to arm wrestle when I was a young 'un (eight through twelve-ish). I won most of the time, just by the skin of my teeth. Even when I was eight.
Now, my twenty-two year-old self knows that my grandpa–who was a very strong man–was not bested by a nine-year old girl with absolutely no athletic prowess whatsoever. He let me win, but gave me enough of a fight that I felt that I was winning by my own merits. Realizing later on that he was stronger than me and could’ve licked me easy didn’t make the experience any less fun; I mean, it wasn’t as though he suddenly proclaimed, “I let you win!” And, frankly, I don’t think that any parent should ever do that.
That being said. . .that was great, Scylla. This kind of thing is why I started Doping so many years ago. And, FWIW, as someone not-too-far out of kid-hood, I think you did the right thing.
Yeah, because the fact that I don’t have children means I was never a child, and have never interacted with children in my life.
If only you knew what grandpa was really up to…
I am so going to hell.
I think there is a spectrum here. With some things, you have to “cheat” a little to give them a chance to learn the rules of the game.
I am sure that Scylla, for example, has taught his daughter chess. Perhaps he’s written a post about it that I missed somewhere. But I digress. A grownup playing a toddler who has newly started chess could win in a very few moves. Then the game would be over, the kid learns little, and it doesn’t feel very fun. The better move is to ‘cheat’-- the parent plays “badly” enough that the game can last awhile. He or she may even play badly enough to let the kid win.
As kids develop, parents can gradually up the level of competitive play. Parents are not just trying to help kids develop their playing skills, but they are also helping them develop emotional maturity. A 1st grader may have the brain and/or skills of a 12 year old but still be way behind their peers in emotional equilibrium and ability to handle setbacks. I believe that’s why one has to be careful with children who are “advanced.”
It’s totally different this side of the aisle. So different that parenthood, like Bangledeshian-level poverty or the incessant pain of a chronic injury, is one of those things in life where one isn’t really qualified to understand until one experiences it.
I’m sure you’re right; there just may have been a more gracious way to say it. Silly breeder. 
Well, of course a non-parent can’t experience what it’s like to be a parent, just as someone who’s never taken cocaine can’t share that experience. But understanding children, indeed, understanding parenting, is something in which someone without children of their own may exceed someone with. Not just “professionals”, such as teachers or psychologists, either. Just as someone who’s never touched the white stuff may be more empathetic with, and more understanding of crack addicts. And more helpful to their recovery/development too.
There’s a reason they split up youth football/hockey/baseball teams into age groups. What fun would it be for the 16-year-olds to play the 6-year-olds? A parent has an unfair advantage, and there’s no reason not to fudge a little and let the child win. Or, you could play board games like Monopoly, where there’s not as much skill involved and help the child along the way, but a parent/child competition is weighted in favor of the parent. (At least, until the child becomes a teenager…my son can beat me in a footrace any day of the week now.)
I think my mom had to do that with my brother. He would fight with another boy in the church nursery. One would bite, and the other would kick.
opping in just to say I loved this OP…
Popping in just to say I loved this OP…
Popping in just to say I loved this OP…
(and going back to my scheduled American Civil War wargame…But I’ve the feeling the computer is letting me win in order not to not hurt my feelings)