Sure, and damages should be about $1.
I’m with the mom. You order and pay for something; that’s what you should get. (Not that a baby is a thing, mind you.)
But she and her partner are a lesbian couple. They have chosen to live and raise a family in this supposedly repressive area - how racist and exclusionary can it be if they felt comfortable enough to conceive a baby there?
I think this a great question. There isn’t a 1:1 relationship between racial identification and phenotype, so any company that uses race as a proxy for physical features is taking a gamble.
One would assume the company would record in specific detail the physical attributes of their sperm donors to avoid this. It’s not enough to know someone classifies themselves as white or black. If a client wants a donor with light skin, then they need to specify light skin as a preference.
I’m the white adoptive mother of an Asian child.
You don’t go into being an interracial family in the U.S. lightly. Being a white person and raising a non-white child brings a different set of issues than raising a white child. Its perfectly fair to say “I don’t want that” or “I don’t think I’m the best person to deal with racial issues.”
Us white people - we don’t get racism. Maybe intellectually, but even with a minority child, I’m simply closer to understanding than most white folks. And that creates a challenge in raising a child.
A minority child needs to be raised in a community where they aren’t the only minority in school. In Scandinavia - where people tend to be really white - minority adoptees have incredibly high suicide rates - many spend their lives feeling like they don’t fit in. That this girl’s parents want to move to another area to raise her is good parenting - but that is expensive - and it isn’t something they signed up for - and they get to do it because a for profit organization made an error.
Ironic. She feels SHE is not welcome in the area she has to take her daughter because her town is not welcoming of a black child.
I don’t think she is all that racially sensitive either. Her and all her not racially sensitive friends can go fuck themselves.
I grew up in Eastern Ohio (Dayton). It was not uncommon to encounter black people. Granted, I did not grow up in the sticks, but I cannot see how she would have travel ‘far’ to find a place where black people could get a haircut.
I swear, there’s a Twilight Zone Episode in there somewhere.
Is this town in an alternate plane of existence or something? Small town full of white folk who apparently have no issues with same gender relationships but do have issues with race?
FWIW, I don’t have an issue that the mum has a legitimate action against the sperm bank. If both partners have blonde hair and they want a blond baby, that’s what they want and pay for. If they’re both white and want a white baby, ditto. The sprem bank made a mistake and didn’t provide what they should. End debate. Just spare me all the bullshit about how hard it is with the mixed race child trying to push up the amount of damages. If you live near a bunch of bigots, move.
Am I the only one who read the article to the end?
“The suit does not specify the damages sought, but the lawyer said Cramblett needs enough money to leave Uniontown and relocate to a diverse area with good schools.”
She doesn’t hate black people. She hates the racist assholes she lives among. I think it’s actually an interesting, fair settlement to ask for, some money to help her family move to where they’ll be more welcome.
This is what I was thinking. She doesn’t feel equipped to be the parent of a child that is a different race from her, and that’s why she chose a white donor. They went against her choice - her very expensive choice - and didn’t take care to make sure she got what she thought she was getting.
It’s different than if the child had been born with a disability, as I am pretty sure there was paperwork signed to the extent of “we can’t guarantee your child won’t have a disability.” Or at least there was not a checkbox for “No disabilities.” There WAS a checkbox for “white skin and Caucasian hair.”
I don’t think she’s a racist, and I think she both paid enough money for the procedure, and the ramifications are real enough that she deserves compensation.
I also don’t think the daughter will suffer negative effects. The parents want her and love her and will always do so and I’m sure wouldn’t want to “give her back.” They just need help dealing with the consequences of the clinic’s mistake.
You would tell your own daughter; that you conceived and carried, that she was adopted if you didn’t like her skin color? Srsly?
I think you woefully misunderstood her post.
She’d tell any child she had she was adopted, but if the child looked like her, the child wouldn’t be harassed by questions from strangers about being adopted or if she’s her “real” child.
If she moves to the right place, I don think even THAT would be a problem. I live in NYC. It’s not uncommon here to see mixed race parents and kids. At this point, I don’t even give the sight a second look and it probably wouldn’t even occur to a lot of NYers to ask.
I don’t think punitive damages are usually awarded in cases of mere negligence. Mostly because you can’t change in ways that prevent any and every mistake from ever happening.
Many people read the article. The misunderstanding seems to be on you. First, you don’t sue if you don’t want to be awarded damages. Second, unspecified damages doesn’t mean no damages will be or have been sought. Lastly, her lawyers are not really the best people to rely on for presenting an unbiased opinion of their client and his/her motivations and faults.
How do you know any of that? I am not saying she does hate Black people, but the reality is that she felt comfortable enough living in this town (apparently) full of racists until their hatred started to affect her life. Anecdotally, I don’t see many people who aren’t racist living in areas with lots of racists by choice. She voluntarily moved back there to be near her intolerant family. For most empathetic people, racism doesn’t need to become personal for them for them to get how abhorrent it is, and to take steps to avoid being exposed to it. Raising a White kid in that environment isn’t good either. While that doesn’t mean she is like them, it doesn’t make her a hero either.
All that said, what harm was done to her that requires recompense? Just having to drive to a different salon isn’t gonna cut it. I am not gonna rule out the possibility that she does have demonstrable damages, but just being upset you got a Black kid instead of a White kid isn’t enough in my opinion.
I feel bad for the kid. Imagine going through your whole life not only being a different color than the rest of your family, but also knowing that Mommy is angry that she got the wrong vial of sperm - which, by the way, is the reason for your whole existence.
Um, the sperm bank screwed up. She wanted sperm from donor 380, who was white. Someone at the sperm bank wrote down 380 sloppily. Someone else at the sperm bank read 380 as 330, a donation from an African American donor, and wrote down 330. Hilarity follows. Then a law suit for negligence or some other stuff, I’d guess.
What are you basing this on?
They didn’t “go against her choice”. They made a mistake. There doesn’t seem to be any malice here. I think she should win if she can demonstrate actual or anticipated losses, but this idea that NOTHING bad can ever happen to someone without someone else having to pay a bunch of money is ridiculous.
Well, the DONOR may have those outward characteristics, but I would guess there is no expressed guarantee that the offspring produced from that sperm will have those traits regardless of what the mother looks like. Either way, I am not sure either of us know what was guaranteed or said.
What ramifications? Honestly, I am not saying that race doesn’t matter, but the idea that these ramifications are inherent and demonstrably so calamitous that she deserves money to offset those things strains credibility given the sheer number of people who willingly bring bi-racial children into the world. These ramifications are certainly no worse than all the other risks she willingly accepted like raising a disabled or terminally ill child.
If you standard for harm is based primarily on the fact that she didn’t anticipate that raising her child would arguably be harder than had things worked out perfectly, then there are innumerable things that could rise to that standard.
Please outline some of these consequences and how to best quantify the damage they will cause?
Racist lesbians complaining about their sperm sounds more like South Park.
There was a movie a few years ago starring Ted Danson and Whoopie Goldberg called “Made in America” that had the same premise. Except in this case Whoopie wanted a black father. She ended up with a white one PLUS Ted Danson.
FWIW, I have a kid (who I love dearly) that looks nothing like me. Even in cosmopolitan DC there are occasionally awkward moments. I am completely sympathetic to the fact that it may be harder elsewhere, especially when you do that have a simple explanation to fall back on (mine is a carbon copy of her dad- much easier to explain than a sperm bank mixup!)
Not if you grew up in Dayton, you didn’t …
Uniontown, otoh, is up in NE Ohio, between South Akron & Canton. There’s only a few thousand people in the whole town. It’s probably smaller than my highschool. Wiki sez the racial make up is 98% white and less than 1% black. It wouldn’t surprise me terribly if her neighbors are a pack of racist rednecks - but it would surprise me if she had to drive more than 15 minutes to find a black hair salon.
Aren't sperm banks quasi-medical facilities? I would expect them to be held to a high standard of care. I would think that clerical errors in a medical setting are in fact a major fucking deal, even if death isn't in the picture.Although “she takes after her dad” is a valid explanation here, too…