Shingles

A guy walks into the doctor’s office and says “I got the shingles.”

The nurse tells him to wait in reception a minute. She them comes back and puts him in a room. She does a few basic checks and says wait just a minute.

The doctor walks in and says how can I help you. The guy says “I got the shingles in the truck. Where do you want them?”

Which makes me think of this one:

A woman gets a phone call. A sinister voice hisses “I am the Viper. I will come in one year.” She’s inclined to shrug it off, but she puts new locks on the doors. Eleven months later, she gets a phone call. The same voice sneers “I am the Viper. I will come in one month.” She gets an alarm system and a large dog. Three weeks later, and another phone call. “I am the VIPER. I will come in one week.” Now the woman is terrified. The local police step up their patrols. Finally, six days later: “I am The VIPER! I come tomorrow.” The day dawns. The SWAT team is concealed in the living room. The doorbell rings. Fearfully, the woman eases back the deadbolts and opens the door.
And a small man in a toolbelt says “I am the Viper. I’ve come to vipe your vindows.”

It is a good thing you did not malign my good name.

By the way I come tomorrow (hopefully).

Viper