SHOCKER! Things work differently in the movies.

Likewise, going through plate glass usually just makes you dead.

Since nobody mentioned it, I’m assuming it’s true that hospital supply rooms and sleeping quarters are hotbeds of daily sexual activity between doctors and nurses.

Car tires don’t make a squealing sound on dirt and gravel.

This one bugs me to no end, especially when the gun is a Glock or similar striker-fired pistol that has no hammer to cock. Somehow, they still make a cocking noise when the holder gets really serious and wants to intimidate someone.

And how often do you see a cop or bad guy racking the slide of a pistol to load the chamber. You mean, you carry it around without it being ready to fire?

Making shushing noises while you have an opponent in a chokehold doesn’t take them out faster.

Everything’s dirtier.

If you jump out of a fast moving car seconds before it explodes, you probably will still die.

Lock picking requires two tools (a pick and a tension wrench, the tension wrench being the thing that actually turns the lock core and opens the lock) and therefor requires two hands.

CMC fnord!

I did appreciate one time when, in Hogan’s Heroes, Hogan got knocked unconscious by a blow to the head. When he came to, Newkirk told him, “It’s just a slight concussion. You’ll be right as rain in a year or two.”

Of course, they undercut that line by showing Hogan with no lasting effects whatsoever, but hey they at least mentioned it.

I believe that comes under the “don’t teach viewers how to do illegal and/or dangerous things” rule. That’s why on TV the formulas characters use to make bombs from “ordinary household products” would just give you a clean bowl rather than a bomb.

FWIW, TV lockpicking is now shown generally to require two pics.

There seems to be a thing in movies these days where a vehicle impacting another vehicle or object flips forward on their nose. Although pretty 0% likely for just about any kind of car or truck, it’s especially hilarious when the vehicle in question is an 18-wheeler.

If you drink a lot of alcohol, you will not be fine and dandy the next morning. You will not even be okay.

You will look and feel like total crap.

Movie helicopters go from cold start to liftoff in about five seconds. Also (cf the ending of Goldeneye) they are invisible and silent until they actually appear on camera.

Archer actually does this one right in many episodes, and turned it into a source of humor. After narrowly avoiding being blown up, Archer and Lana rub their ears. Also for some reason Archer says “mop mop” as he rubs his ears. I guess it’s just one of his oddities. On rare occasion they even mask the show soundtrack for a few seconds so that it sounds like you (the audience) have also experienced having your ears blown out.

My favorite one: whenever I need to inject myself with my arthritis medication, of course I have to jam the needle into the side of my neck! (not)

No one rolls face to face with their bed partner and kisses intimately in the morning. <shudder>

No matter the distance or wind conditions, a sniper aims directly at their target.

And there’s the famous L-shaped sheet (covers the guy to this waist, the girl to her shoulders). And when she sits up, she holds the sheet over her breasts. And when he stands up, he either puts on his underpants under the sheet, or takes the sheet with him and immediately goes into the next room, so the woman isn’t seen on camera until she comes out in her bathrobe.

In short, lovers never ever see each other totally naked.

Honestly, this depends on the person. My wife is a like a superhero-mutant person when it comes to avoiding hangovers. Even if she’s stumbling, pukingly drunk the night before, she always seems to be fine in the morning.

(I should emphasize that this isn’t, like, a regular occurrence. I’d be shocked if it happens more than once a year, if that. But when it does happen it’s seriously like a super power.)

People do not fall in love wit their stalkers and/or rapists.

I’m curious what movies you are watching. :confused: I haven’t noticed that it is a common theme for anyone to fall in love with stalkers or rapists.

When having a medical emergency, dumping a bottle of pills towards your mouth, or forcing pills into an unconscious person’s mouth, will not abate the (heart attack/stroke/spontaneous decapitation) in 3 seconds, enabling the stricken person to immediately be A-OK.

General Hospital. Admittedly it’s television.