In other words; objects, circumstances or events that you see all the time in the movies, that aren’t actually like that in real life.
Many of these are obvious, like the way that cars always turn into fireballs when they crash.
But there was one that hit me the other day.
Whales have no internal organs.
In the movies (usually cartoons of course), whales are just big, hollow caverns of flesh with a pool of water in the bottom.
What UN-truisms have you noticed?
The nice average-looking guy gets the hot chick after she realizes what a tool the hunk is.
Cars, trucks, busses can spontaneously launch 10 feet into the air.
People running away from danger will always 1) trip and fall or 2) run backwards right into the waiting hands of evil.
People standing close to you in the same room can’t hear what you are saying as long as you make it clear that you don’t want them to hear you.
I’d say these are better classified as clichés.
Being hit in the chest by a bullet fired from a handgun will not only knock you off your feet, but propel you backwards for several yards.
It also musses your hair, but does no other visible damage.
This always drives me crazy:
Elevator doors don’t automatically reopen when there’s an obstruction in the threshold; they close anyway and trap whatever’s between them.
Wait–are you saying this is real or fake? Cause that’s pretty much how the elevators in my office building operate. Goddamned things are a menace.
Hmm, lessee…
In the movies, it seems as though the average person can hold their breaths for several minutes while swimming rapidly. Damn, I am not the best swimmer in the world, but I can only hold my breath for about a minute and a half tops.
In the movies, shrapnel apparently doesn’t exist: heroes are seen running from explosions, barely outdistancing the fireballs and emerging unscathed except for a few scorch marks on their clothes. In the real world, they would be riddled with shrapnel from whatever was between them and the explosion.
In the movies, apparently computer mouses are near useless, as whenever someone is shown working with a computer they are always typing at a frenetic pace and never touching the mouse. This is fine if they are composing an email, but for regular work…well, that’s why we have GUIs, you know?
Not in movies, we don’t! It still cracks me up that in movies, computer system logins are always eight-inch tall letters looking something like seventies-era teletypes on steroids.
Or, they’re uber-integrated systems pulling in data from FBI, CIA, P&G and various other sources combining GPS, GIS, wireframe and who-knows-what else onto one screen.
But very few people in movie-land have Word, Excel, or Netscape.
Computers in the movies don’t behave the way they do in the real world. For example:
[ul]
[li]The screen is so damn bright that its image is projected onto the face of the user. Such brightness would cause instant blindness.[/li][li]They make all kinds of beeping sounds, especially with every key press. They also tend to use REALLY BIG FONTS so we can all see what’s being displayed.[/li][li]Passwords are echoed on the screen. If the password is wrong (and the first few attempts always will be) a big red flashing box which says *** ACCESS DENIED *** will appear.[/li][/ul]
Other un-truisms:
[ul]
[li]Any security camera image, no matter how blurry,can be zoomed in on and re-resolved to reveal more details not visible in the original image.[/li][li]People never wait for their change when making a purchase.[/li][li]Nobody ever says goodbye at the end of a phone conversation.[/li][li]Whenever a news story appears on TV, people somehow manage to turn the TV at the exact time the story starts. After the initial information is given, the people turn it back off and don’t wait around for more details.[/li][/ul]
But they all seem to have AOL…
Hand grenades explode in balls of flame.
How old are your elevators? They must have been installed by Mr. Otis himself, because any modern elevator will have doors that automatically re-open if they hit an obstruction.
Argh, not the elevators here in Hong Kong. I swear, nobody here has heard of optical sensing. All the doors here are purely mechanical and stupid. If you walk in at just the wrong moment, you can get body slammed by both doors at once at it HURTS. Not only that, the only sensor they have is a narrow strip in the middle of the door so its entirely possible to get yourself jammed in there and some experimentation shows that you get jammed REALLY tight. I can stick my key between the gaps and its jammed tight enough to support my entire wallet on it.
And these are all buildings built like 5 - 10 years ago.I hate them
In the movies, when someone calls on the telephone, the ringing that the phone makes is in synch with the “ring” the caller hears in their headpiece. That way, a secret plan can be hatched by letting the phone ring twice and then hanging up.
In the real world, no synchronization actually exists. The “ringing” you hear is just a signal to indicate the other line is open, but bears no direct relationship to the ring the phone you’re calling actually makes.
All doors are weird in movies.
You can always walk straight into any hotel room just by turning the knob. None of them lock automatically as they do at least here in the U.S.
You can also always lock a person inside a room. I’ve never seen a room - even a closet - with a lock on the outside that didn’t have a way to open it from the inside, but in movies this happens a lot.
Front doors sometimes open to the outside when it’s necessary for the action. Screen doors or storm doors might do this but regular front doors never.
Speaking of which, no movie house ever has screens or storms on their windows. All of them open freely and unobstructedly to the outdoors. Even when the action is ostensibly not in California.
I take it you mean residential front doors, Exapno. (Commercial doors had better open out or else they’re probably in violation of the fire code!)
Another one that someone pointed out in another thread: in movies, sound and light move at the same speed. If you see an explosion or lightning a mile away, you hear it at the exact same time.
Assault rifles have magazines that carry approximately four hundred rounds.
Re computers - Monitors have loud moving parts, or otherwise make a thunkety-thunkety sound as text scrolls across the screen.
Re swimming - A diver without a mask can open his eyes in deep murky water and see clearly enough to retrieve an item from the bottom.
Fellatio is performed with the fellater’s head at about gallbladder level, which would explain why the fellatee almost invariably makes a face as if he’s getting his gallbladder gnawed out.
Even the most hardened detective or forensic investigator will gag at the mere sight of a decomposed body.
Looking through binoculars, you see a strange joined double circle image. In real life, there is just a single cirular image.
-Anyone who loses their job is working again 10 minutes later (ie Ben Afleck starting his own oil company 24 hours after getting fired by Bruce Willis in Armageddon)
-All high school outcasts can become super hot with a makeover.
-120 lb girls can kick the crap out of a 200 lb guys.