I know that when a police detective is suspended, I can be confident that he will continue working on the case, such is his dedication to catching his man. If he destroys a car or two, it’s not a big deal, especially if they blow up during a shootout.
I also know that, according to the documentary U.S. Marshals, a U.S. Marshal can call in swamp boats at a moment’s notice.
Movies have taught me that shoulder wounds are minor, you can recover from a beating in less than 15 minutes with little swelling or bruising, and women will leave their fiances at the altar if you are charming and goofy enough.
I have learned that when people order Chinese food, even if there are only 2 diners, they order at least 8 containers’ worth of food and eat with chopsticks directly out of the containers.
Movies have taught me that learning a martial art to a black belt standard from a base of nothing takes only as long as a montage sequence.
Movies have taught me that stalking, harassment, and generally dickish behavior towards women is fine, nay lauded, if you are “the right guy.”
Wrecked cars always explode.
If you are the good guy in a movie and your car explodes, you can be standing six feet away from it and not only will you live, but you will walk away with maybe a couple of strategically placed scratches for effect. If you are a woman, somehow your breasts will become exposed from the force of the explosion.
If you are the bad guy in a movie and your car explodes, you could be running full-speed about 200 yards away and still be killed by the blast. If you are a woman bad guy, somehow your breasts will become exposed from the force of the explosion.
If somebody asks you, “Have you told anyone else about this yet?” and you answer “no”, you will soon be bumped off.
Getting stuck in an elevator always makes pregnant women go into labor.
Any computer can be hacked with a few keystrokes.
Teachers only teach one class section, sometimes for years.
When driving in a crowded city, you can always find a parking spot right where you want to go.
Police forensic labs can get to your evidence within hours, and will have solid results in less than 24 hours.
After the apocalypse, tattered leather will be the only apparel available.
Movies have taught me that when your gun runs out of bullets you should just toss it aside, it’s useless.
Mobile phones exist that have infinite battery life… but only employees of CTU (or a certain person variously either employed by, or pursued by CTU) have them.
Movies have taught me that if you’re a seasoned cop, you never reveal the fact that it’s your final case before you retire.
You will die.
You should never spend money on a computer mouse because nobody in history has ever used one. Everything on a computer can be accomplished by typing furiously.
Movies have taught me that I can build a romantic relationship (with a woman who looks like Jennifer Aniston or Sandra Bullock or Katherine Heigl) based entirely on a lie. She will find out and break up with me, of course, but if I run through an airport or stand in a rainstorm or make a fool of myself in public somehow, she’ll take me back.
If a man proposes to his girlfriend, the odds that he will be killed increase enormously.
If a married cop has an unmarried partner, the married guy will die.
and bits of metal and rubber, you forgot the metal bits and rubber =)
Shooting any sort of propane / gas / hydrogen / scuba tank will make it explode instantly.
Holding a lighter under one sprinkler will set off every sprinkler in the building.
Unless they are chasing a serial killer. Then the married guys wife will die.