Shocking public scenes (that you *haven't* started!)

In My Humble Opinion
41

I guess this one could go in the shockingly cruel category.

As I was leaving my apartment one morning (snow on the ground, temp around 20°F), I saw a young couple arguing by the swimming pool. As I passed, I gathered that:
A) She was highly pissed.
B) She had his car keys, he had to go to work, and she wasn’t about to give them back.

He didn’t seem drunk, and I have no idea what the deal was.
As I got in my car, I saw her turn and throw his keys in the pool. In the deep end! (Note: All the scoop nets, etc were put away for the winter.)

I don’t what he did to deserve that, but I felt for the poor dude. Later on I thought it was funny as hell!

42

[response to Hijack]All the time. Mostly my Mom, though. My responses tend to be along the lines of “Oh, I’m supposed to forgive somebody that has a history of doing disgusting things like that”. As you may have guessed, my childhood was filled with him doing crap like that, until I caught up with him in size and could defend myself anyway. To this day I still have thoughts about "what if I handn’t… [/end response to hijack]

43

In December, I went to the Post Office to mail my Christmas cards. Naturally, there was a big crowd, like 30 people, so I went over to the little ticket machine and took a number (65). As I’m standing by the machine, I see that someone had left number 48 on the floor. I thought to myself, “Gee…I could pick that up and have my turn earlier…” (They were only on something like number 40 at the time) There wasn’t really a line, just a bunch of people standing around, so it would’ve been really easy to fake like I really did have that number. But then I thought about how jerky that was and how pissed off I’d be if I was one of the people that knew they were there before me. So anyway, I had just reached the conclusion that anyone who “illegally” picked up that number would be a huge jerkoff, when this million year old man came in the door and took a number (66). He looked at it, looked at the crowd and then spied the nubmer 48 on the floor, which he proceeded to pick up. (At which point I was really pissed that I didn’t pick it up and at least throw it away or something so nobody else could jump the line…but then I figured, hey, he’s an old man, give him a break…might as well not make him stand here any longer than he has to.)

So we wait a few minutes and they call number 43. The old man starts walking up to the window at the same time as some other guy, who actually has the real number 43. They reach the window at the same time and the old man declares that he has 43 and it’s his turn. The other guy says, “I don’t think so…I have 43.” And the Post Office lady says, “Let me see your tickets” so they both hold up their tickets, which clearly say 43 and 48 but obviously either the old guy can’t read his and thinks his illegal 48 is actually 43 or he is just a crotchety old man and wants to cut the line even more. Then the Post Office lady says the other guy has number 43 and the old man starts yelling and pounding his cane on the floor, screaming that he has number 43, can’t she read, look it says 43 right here, I’m next, I’m next and shoving the ticket in the nice Post Office lady’s face. EVERYONE is silent and staring at the old man causing this huge scene…and the other guy, who has not said anything else, just says, “That’s ok. He can go ahead of me.” And the old man gets all huffy and repeats that he has 43 and it’s HIS turn and nobody is LETTING him go ahead. So the Post Office lady says VERY loudly, “Fine, sir. Even though you clearly have number 48, I will help you next because this nice man who ACTUALLY has number 43 has been gracious enough to let you cut in line ahead of him.” to which the old man responds, “God damn post office.”

Everyone was just staring, could not believe he had caused such a ruckus over a number that wasn’t even HIS to begin with! When he left everybody laughed.

44

Never, ever forgive him. And if your mom can’t understand why you won’t, forget her too.

45

Some of these have been tough to beat, but I’ll try my best.

When I was 14, I worked as a parking attendant in a lot that was near a bunch of bars and a strip club. On friday nights, it wasn’t uncommon for the strip club down the street to get 4 or 5 bachelor parties. Most of these would park in our lot and walk the rest of the way. A lot of the time, they would come in one of those little shuttle bus things that the “limo services” rent out.

So one friday or saturday, a little minibus comes in, I direct them to the row that we have reserved for such oversized vehicles, and they get out. The guys head over to the strip joint, and the driver gets out to talk to me and the other guy working that night. He eventually gets back into his bus and just starts reading or something.

The night goes on normally from here on, until about half an hour before we were about to leave for the night.

We hear a commotion coming down the street. “Fuck you!” and so on for about 2 minutes. We look, and lo and behold, it’s the guys from the bachelor party.

They get to the lot, and start to walk to the bus. We watch, knowing that something entertaining is about to happen. Sure enough, what do we see but the groom and the best man about to get into a fight.

The best man pushes the groom down, and proceeds to beat the everloving shit out of him. I mean, punches to the head, kicks in the groin, everything you could imagine. I just clutch our giant MagLite, and figure the cops will be driving by shortly anyway.

Eventually the guys’ friends drag them apart, and pull them away to opposite sides of the bus, where they try to talk some sense into them.

I figure that the entertainment is over, and go back to closing up for the night.

But then I hear it, right out of a Bud Light ad…

“I LOVE YOU, MAN!” Both of them were hugging.

It was almost surreal. A perfect circle, as they say.

46

Zebra, you ought to send your story here.

http://www.etiquettehell.com/

47

I remember when I was living with Eric, he called me one day from where he worked, a Famous Players. He asked me to come right away. So I made my way downtown and ran and get him. He was in the employee’s locker room, sobbing and distraught, surrounded by his boss, some coworkers, and an emergency doctor. I ran to him, and I learned that his boss had accused him of stealing from the till. He had had a miniature nervous breakdown.

Eric didn’t steal anything. They had gone through the video of his entire shift, and they could plainly see (and they admitted as much) that he hadn’t taken a thing. But there was a small discrepancy in the totals, and as every manager knows, there are no mistakes. There is only theft, and clerks who steal. So even though they saw with their own eyes that he was perfectly honest, they shitcanned him anyway. Of course, since they didn’t have a leg to stand on, they were “nice enough” to write it up as a dismissal rather than a firing for misconduct, so that he could collect UI. Whatever.

His boss was a big homophobe, too.

I know that wasn’t exactly a public scene, but it seemed to fit in with the general shitty-jobs theme.