What cheesesteak said is okay, but not in this particular case. Using the same “bump” analogy, if I bump into Bill and Cheesesteak watched me do it, I may owe Bill an apology, but not Cheesesteak.
Had Bill stated, even jokingly, that anyone in here could use a tummy tuck, then I would grant that some grounds for an apology could possibly be in order. But that was not the case. People can think of Bill as Assman Supreme for saying what he did, but nobody is due an apology except the person it was directed, if THAT person feels an apology is required.
I also believe that if somebody misinterprets someone, or takes something out of context, then they owe the originator an apology if they confront them. The originator should only have to state what the intention was, not apologize for someone getting the wrong meaning.
If I say “Damn you are short” (meaning short tempered) and somebody on the outside of the conversation who is vertically challenged gets upset, I should only have to state my meaning of the term, not apologize to the munchkin for their wrongful assumption. Yes, I could be nice and say “Gee, I’m so sorry I wasn’t clear enough which caused you to jump my ass”. Instead though, I feel that if I simply state my intention, Pee-wee owes me an apology for getting bent for no other reason than putting words into my mouth.
In BILL’s defense (Jeez, those are words I never thought I’d type), I think he means more a situation where you feel you haven’t done anything wrong but offense is taken anyway. Not that you bump someone and make them spill their coffee (obviously your fault, intended or not), but that you do something innocuous (say, brush their sleeve) and then realize that they have taken offense – unjustifably, in your mind. The question is, do you apologize even though you yourself feel there’s no reason for offense and therefore no requirement to apologize, just to smooth the waters? Or do you not apologize because you don’t think one is warranted and, honestly, you’re not really sorry?
Boy you shouldn’t insult the wife dude. Get some roses or something & apologize even if you think you shouldn’t have to. Its called foot in the mouth disease, I have it.
I think it depends on circumstance. In a conversation about “ethical” vegetarianism, (in real time and space,) I joked “According to the bible, ‘All Flesh is Grass’, so Christian vegetarians can eat all the meat that they want to.”
The person that I was talking to was so dogmatic & humourless that they became very offended, and actually started yelling at me. They didn’t even register that the statement was clearly absurd, or pick up from my tone of voice that the intent was to make them laugh.
I’m not about to apologize for something like that.
Now, if I someone told me that everyone in their family was killed in a freak accident over the weekend, and I responded “Cheer up, think of the money you’ll save on birthday and christmas presents!”, they might be justified in asking for an apology. (Or driving an ice-pick into my brain.)
THe fact that you were talking about your wife somewhat nullified what the non-wife said. Now what YOUR WIFE thinks (probably that you could cut out the late night pizzas yourself!!)is different. You can’t please them all, and jokers always have hecklers. Look at it this way, you would rather someone tell you this then let her/him fume about it and you not know why.