Should *cough* self-gratification be taught in sex ed?

Great Debates
41

I guess boys don’t need as much instruction on how to pleasure themselves, but for girls it’s not that simple. Boys handle their gentials all their life when going to the bathroom, and they are always there, easy to find and manipulate. Girls, on the other hand, don’t touch down there in the normal course of things, we can’t see what we’ve got down there, and there is more than one way of stimulating that region. I know some women who always thought that to have an orgasm, you had to insert something into the vagina. It took an accident in a power-shower or something of the kind to show them where it really hits the spot. They might also expect instant gratification (which it might not be at first) or an ejaculation like with men.

Beside the practical difficulties, female masturbation was never discussed on TV or in books, and it was seen as something only bad girls or nymphos would do. This is getting better, but it’s still taboo for most people.

Perhaps if girls knew the pleasure they could get by themselves, they might compare this to what they get from sex (probably not as good in a youthful, inexperienced, casual relationship), and won’t be as eager to sleep around when they can get more pleasure on their own. In any case, I tell my younger friends who are just starting to explore sex to hold back - DIY is better.

OTOH, I can’t see this flying in American schools, and I can’t see many teachers wanting to teach it, either. Perhaps a leaflet of some sort would be in order, for the kids to giggle over and make jokes about and perhaps actually pick up something useful from too. Or they can just look on the internet - it’s not like they’d come across (npi) any dangerous sites in that search now, is it? [/sarcasm]

42

Frankly (this may sound a little harsh, but oh well), I don’t really care how “difficult and embarassing” it is to discuss this sort of thing with your kids. Do it anyway. It is your job as a parent to make sure your kids understand the ways of the world. Pawning it off on to the schools is only going to complicate things. Besides, why would you want a complete stranger teaching your kid how to masturbate? Doesn’t that just make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, or is it just me?

43

—I’m from Sweden, which is one of the more liberal countries in Europe, but still… in 8th grade all we did in biology for 3 weeks was sex ed. We were taught that masturbation is fun, sex is fun, different masturbation techniques, how to find the clitoris, even a few basic sexual positions…—

I love Sweden. Their culture seems way closer to what I consider the ideal healthy attitude towards sex abd bodily functions: not making it taboo, but rather something people learn to do and talk about sensibly.

When my girlfriend traveled there, the people she stayed with had a special sink that she was told never to touch or use. It turned out that the men of the house used it to pee in because the women take too much time in the bathroom. Evidently (and this is just what the family told her, so don’t jump on me if it’s not true) a lot of houses in Sweden actually have this special sink, though it’s becoming less and less common (partly for health concerns).

Another of my college friends stayed with a family and the mom prepared breakfast for them everyday. One day she was late, and came down in just panties and a man’s shirt. “Sorry,” she apologized nochalantly as she began to prepare breakfast, “we were having some really good sex.”

—Besides, why would you want a complete stranger teaching your kid how to masturbate? Doesn’t that just make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, or is it just me?—

It does seem a little strange, but then maybe that’s because it’s the taboo that makes it such a verboten subject in the first place. It does seem a little silly that, if almost everyone is doing it, that people have such a hard time talking about it.

44

the only speech i got from my parents came from my mom (who busted me big-time once :slight_smile: ):

“playing with yourself is okay, but just don’t do it too often. it’ll make you tired.”

welp…gotta love that!

in re to the original question - i think it’s important for schools to teach that masturabation is perfectly normal, healthy and fun. forget trying to teach technique - they’ll figure that part out no problemo.

45

I think you’re missing the point here. I personally would have no problem discussing sex with my children. But it is a fact that many parents do not and will not address the subject. How do you suggest that we convince those parents to “do their job” as you put it? What about parents who don’t themselves understand the basics? What about the children who were conceived because their parents didn’t know enough about birth control? Or those whose parents have STD’s because they didn’t take adequate precautions? How do we stop perpetuating the cycle of teenagers having children and spreading disease? Unless you have figured out a way to both educate all parents and somehow force them to pass their knowledge on to their children, taking sex education out of the schools is only going to lead to ever greater epidemics of teen pregnancy and STD’s. And in a world where STD’s can kill you, that’s not something I want to contemplate.

It’s seeing the waste when lives are destroyed by ignorance about sex that makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Having Mrs. Smith in the fourth grade add a few sentences dispelling myths about masturbation and pointing out its value as an alternative way to release adolescent sexual frustrations just seems like a darn good idea to me.

46

Sorry SpoilerVirgin, but I don’t have an answer for that. I guess I just wouldn’t want my kids hearing about that kind of thing for the first time from a stranger (something that will DEFINATELY not happen in my house).

47

If you are still following the thread, I apologies for missing the joke.

(I actually thought you might be an offended gay person, and wanted to reassure you. No good deed goes unpunished; now I feel like a … well, just obtuse.)

48

This reminds me of the time my dad walked into the bathroom just as I was beating the water to a foam with my frenzied five finger shuffling. I had forgotten to lock the door, dad just looked at me, grunted and walked back out…I could hear him sniggering all the way down the hallway.

I couldn’t manage a hard on for about 2 weeks after and I was only 13 at the time:D.

49

Well, here’s a link for what not to teach: http://www.ldolphin.org/mormon.html

50

Sure, but first I’d like to see what the final exam looks like.

51

As regards “the talk”. My mother used a technique that I have employed and recommend to others. Tell jokes. Dirty jokes, the most immature and stupid dirty jokes in your collection. When I didn’t get the joke, she explained it to me, and then told me another, slightly more “advanced” joke. Not only did I get the “basics”, I had a whole slew of sophisticated humor to show off to my 7th grade cronies.

Try it. It works.

As far as education, the wanking thing is kind of a wash. But they absitively posolutely must be taught the basics of disease prevention and pregnancy. If this involves instruction on the use of condoms, so be it. Knowledge may prematurely empower, but ignorance kills.

When in doubt, teach.

52

Well, my youngest is 3 and 1/2, and doesn’t seem to have discovered masturbation yet. But my older two (all three of my kids are girls) discovered it between the ages of 3 and 4. I told them exactly what I plan on telling my youngest when the time comes: that masturbation (or whatever you choose to call it) is perfectly natural, normal and healthy. But it is also private, and therefore should be done in private. I compare it to using the bathroom. A perfectly healthy thing to do, but not something which requires an audience! I pride myself on keeping an open, honest relationship with my kids regarding sex, and also pride myself on having accurate information. My girls have always felt comfortable coming to me with quesitons and concerns about sex and their bodies, and I intend to keep it that way!

I think it’s sad that schools have to teach sex-ed at all, but some parents who are uncomfortable with the subject really won’t talk to their kids, and some parents who are willing enough don’t necessarily have accurate information to pass along. I think that schools really should mention, somewhere along the line, that sex feels good. And if schools are going to teach abstinence, which seems to be fashionable now (and I believe it’s important to tell kids that it’s okay to not be sexually active), then I believe that at least mention of masturbation should go along with it. However, I can see that some parents might get up in arms over this.

53

I do not know anything about being a man, but I think teaching masterbation to young women is essential.

A huge portion- maybe even a majority- of women do not masterbate. I’d say it is even less common among teenagers- it certainly isn’t talked about. Many women have never looked at or examined their genitals. Even I- who was fairly in touch with my sexuality at a young age- could not really tell you what all was going on “down there” until I started having sex. Huge amounts of women are grossed out by their own anatomy and fairly ignorant about their own sexual response.

I think this is wrong. Not only does it get in the way of women having good satisfying sex, but it makes them unprepared for sex. Women need to know what sex is supposed to feel like- what is good for them and what is bad for them- and how to ask for what they want. Because for many women the “heat of the moment” isn’t pleasurable- it’s just confusing. They don’t know what they are feeling or what to do with it, and this leaves lots of room for them to make the wrong choices. If women felt like sexuality was in their control, they would have the confidence to take more control- leading to better sex, more responsiblity and more gender equality.

54

Three blind mice
Three blind mice…

……..See  ‘em turn ‘er crank

………Dat’s how mousies wank

Now listen to how da gets dis way
‘cause in school ‘ey taught ‘em how to play
Which hand to use and to comf’y lay
And never to quit ‘till um sleepy say…

We “all tuckered out”
We “all tuckered out”

………Sleepin’ and dreamin’ of new ways to play
………Tomorrow they off for another day…

Never dey listen When others ‘ay warn
‘bout a “peeled der carrots” as ‘ay done since ‘ay born.
‘bout dangers at come from a shootin’ der gun
Less a bullets be amin’ at Miss Mouseies bum’.

They never learn
They never learn

……..Der puds ain’t designed, with much safety in mind
……..There is danger ahead, and it could make ‘em blind…

Der hand can slips off when a crankin’ real hard,
Den ‘a wack hard der head and say “I seeum stars”.
Or ‘ay knoch out der teeth, or da hits makes ‘em tards.
One day one slipped when a doin’ it hard
(his testes ‘ay find in the neighbors backyard).

There comes a day
There comes a day

……..They didn’t listen to what we done said.
……..Now when 'ay walk, look what be leadin da way,

seeing eye gerbil it looks like to me.
dark glasses dey cover der eyes do all three
it is plain for smart folk from what we can see,
why wank’n your crank just ain’t ‘pose to be
or a toothless, blind mousie who no doubt will be ,
a hunting dem testes in yards and in trees.

the people who own computer this just drove up, i’ve gotta get out the window quick

55

It should be positively encouraged as it would reduce the amount of aggression from pent-up males and also shame felt by teenagers if they could masturbate with less social stigma.

Bloody Christian repression…

56

I think a “general overall” class on masterbation would be ok but I don’t think there is a need to go into great detail.

But then again my friend told me that his 11 year old son was crying and he asked him why. He said he was masterbating with “Vicks Vapor Rub” and it burned. lol maybe if he was given a class he wouldn’t have tried such a silly thing!

57

Talk about an easy “A”

58

If they dont know about jerking off by the time they have sex ed then they are totally lost. Tell them about it and then tell them when it is appropriate.:smiley:

59

Can anyone give her a link to Spoofe’s toothpaste incident?