Most men in America are victims of the patriarchy to one degree or another. Not because we’re a dispossessed group, but because toxic masculinity is built into the culture. When we were boys, we were taught that sex and gender created rigid roles, expectations, and guidelines for how we should treat others. That’s how you end up with things like the dreaded man hug. It’s just that society is so tilted in our favor that it often doesn’t matter in terms of socioeconomic success.
There are practical reasons why women shouldn’t be responsible for male pain, even beyond the very real “injustice sherpa” role that oppressed groups are often asked to take on by privileged ones. They aren’t experiencing it. I don’t presume to impose my privileged experiences on groups I’m not a part of. And when it comes to the parts of my identity which place me in a dispossessed group, I generally don’t give a wet shit about external privileged opinions.
Men are responsible for addressing male pain because we’re best positioned to do it. In our current culture, I think “addressing male pain” is - more often than not - confronting the symptoms of toxic masculinity amongst both our adult peers and the young men we interact with. And ironically, the truth is that because of toxic masculinity, men are more likely to listen to other men about their behavior. Advice on acting kindly might be taken as “mentoring” from a “positive make role model” from me, but “scolding” from a woman.
Meanwhile, women are getting raped and mutilated and child-married because of the patriarchy while I’m over here talking about bro hugs. So yeah, they really do have bigger fish to fry.