Another vote for gold-digger. Watch your ass.
Holy CATS, Martin! That’s bitter even for you! 
What? Just because she’s broke she’s not allowed to date anyone even vaguely outside her income bracket? The guy said he has disposable income, he didn’t say he was a money train. And seriously, he’s working at LL Bean, I’m doubting if he’s cashing in his first billion anytime soon.
No offense to WSLer intended, I’m just sayin’.
She hasn’t hit on him blatantly. She hasn’t sucked his dick during lunch break for baby formula. Sounds like a coupla nice people that might go out together and have fun. What’s the big deal?
And my thoughts on asking her out are quite simple. If you’re ready to date, go for it. If you’re not, enjoy the flirtation but give the rest of it a miss. No need to rush.
Ain’t gonna know if she’s a gold digger if he doesn’t ask her out.
I agree with Eva, do something low key. And watch out for the honey traps.
At the risk of overreacting – what the hell? Have you been talking to my boyfriend’s mother? Christ! It’s idiotic preconceptions like this that have made me fall all over myself making it clear to guys I’ve dated that I’m not looking for a father for my child nor am I looking for someone to support me. All I wanted was some goddamned adult companionship. Do single parents lose the right to flirt and desire companionship?
I’m a single mom and I am not now nor have I ever been a gold digger – not even when I was broke (well, broker than now, at least). The single mothers I have known (I used to volunteer for a teen mother support group) often resign themselves to living the rest of their lives without a partner because they’re afraid of being taken advantage of by unscrupulous men and thereby endangering their children.
WSLer, ask her out to lunch or something, just like you would any other girl. Keep your eyes open and your wits about you…just like any other girl.
Go for it, but go in with your eyes open.
Gundy, just so I’m perfectly clear, the “low-key” comment was more because I think everyone’s more relaxed if first dates are low-key, and had nothing whatsoever to do with her being a single mom.
My mom was a single mom for most of my childhood…and I know it sure wasn’t easy for her, either! (Especially when my sister and I got old enough to pick up on it the time when she came home with a hickey. Boy, did we give her hell!)
Methinks the lady protests too much, no? Seriously, I met you in person, and have no doubt that you are just as you say you are.
I just told him to be careful. The loss that could be incurred is severe, probably worse than an ordinary broken heart. It’s lovely to assume the worst: you are rarely surprised and very often pleased.
My warning about gold diggers applies to anyone, not just single moms.
In my 15th year of marital hell because I fell for a honey trap.
I think I protested just enough, thanks. And I don’t think that we actually met, but we were in the same room at the same time, for what it’s worth.
Would you have advised him to be so careful if she wasn’t a broke single mother? If so, then I retract my indignation. But I don’t think you would have, and I don’t think vunderbob would have either. You don’t see too many folks saying “Watch out for gold diggers, now!” in other should-I-ask-her-out threads that don’t mention single moms. I agree that the stakes can be higher in these situations, but they’re not even dating yet.
Eva, I totally agree that low-key is the way to go, especially with this woman – because that’s probably all she can offer at this stage, anyway. It’s best to proceed with caution in these situations because, as has been said, it gets knotty down the road. Still, there’s nothing wrong with having a little fun.
Just a little update if anyone’s interested.
Thursday I gave her a ride to her car and then Friday I helped her carry some boxes out to her car and she said, “You’re a nice guy,” which if course made me bluss. Then we talked for a few minutes at her car and she asked me what I was doing this weekend!!!
Unfortunately I already had stuff that I had to to, which is what I told her, but I do plan on asking her if she’d like to have lunch or something this week.
That’s great wsler!! Just make sure you tell her you’re not trying to push her away (as she might think if you mention other plans), but rather that you’d love to spend time with her sometime soon.
Good to hear it’s going well.
Sounds like you’re off to a good start, WSL…