Should I Go to Mexico? Need an objective perspective, please...

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

First the background. I am a 23-year-old senior Spanish major at the University of Michigan. I’ve lived in Michigan my entire life and the extent of my exploits beyond the borders of my own country is limited to a 4th grade field trip to Toronto. I am supremely fascinated with Latin American culture and history, and especially how that relates to Latinos living in the U.S. I always wanted to study abroad, and I was accepted twice into the study abroad program in Santiago, Chile. The first time I chickened out early. The second time I had my passport ready and everything and then wound up in the hospital during a major depressive episode, so I canceled out of a sense that I was too sick to go. I actually ended up withdrawing from school for a year shortly after that.

I think out my entire academic stay here at the University, not going to Chile to study abroad is the thing I most regret. It was a circumstance in which I had scholarships and financial aid and really not much overhead expense at all–a true wasted opportunity. I should have faced my fears and just went.

But I have made the best of my situation. I spent a semester teaching English as a Second language to adult Latinos in Southwest Detroit. It was a rewarding experience, and enabled me to learn a lot about issues of immigration. Almost every single person I worked with and got to know was Mexican, so I got to learn a lot about Mexico, too. I also spoke to an economist who was doing research on emigration in Jalisco and had fascinating conversations with people who knew a thing or two about life on the U.S.-Mexico border. As a result of these experiences I’ve become very interested in the issue of immigration and wanting to know more about it, first hand.

I have decided (at least, I’m reasonably certain) that I want to apply to the University of California Berkeley School of Social Work to get my Masters or possibly a Ph.D. I’m interested in immigration, as I stated before, but also mental health (and eleven billion other things.) I’m curious what work has been done on Empirically Supported Treatments for Latinos and I’m also curious if there is a mental health need that remains unfulfilled among immigrant populations. Working with Latinos is not an imperative for my personal happiness, but it would be a really exciting opportunity if I could do so.

My Spanish is good (fluent -to-almost-fluent reading/writing, but my speaking and aural comprehension needs work). I know I’m never going to be satisfied with my knowledge of the language no matter how long I study it, but I also know that becoming fluent in a language requires total immersion, not to mention how can I study immigration without a cultural-experiential basis for that understanding?

So I decided, why not go to Mexico? My husband and I talked about it at length. He doesn’t really want me to go away for any longer than three months. I dropped $250 on an application fee last November–the total for the program will amount to about $3000 including airfare. Since we can’t really afford the study abroad programs, and I’m more interested in service work anyways, my program will involve spending 25-30 hours a week working with abandoned and abused girls at an orphanage in Guadalajara. I’ll be staying for two months, from May-July 2007, homestay. That’s been the plan for the last two or three months. I was excited to learn, then, that Guadalajara, being in the state of Jalisco, is hugely impacted by emigration to the U.S., so I see that as a great opportunity to really learn about this situation from “the other side” so-to-speak. And then my random final Spanish class I signed up for turned out to be on the topic of Mexican culture today.

Two major criteria for admission to the School of Social Work at Berkeley are:

  1. knowledge of social and cultural issues that impact people of differing ethnicities and/or life experiences (read: Latinos)
  2. extensive volunteer experience.
    The way I look at it, Mexico would kind of kill both birds with a single stone.

So that was the plan.

Then. Well. It started with this. I had such an overwhelming sense of revulsion at becoming one of the “typical” American families that blows their money on a bunch of crap they don’t need… especially considering my history. I had been on my own financially since I was 17 and generally did quite well until I got to college. I ended up putting school books and groceries on a credit card when financial aid didn’t come through in time, and then my spending habits got way out of control ($10,000 out of control.) All that debt, on top of having to shell out ungodly sums of money for a chronic medical condition, was soul-crushing and humiliating. My husband (then boyfriend) initially had no problem helping me out financially, until he graduated and his grandparents stopped sending him a monthly allowance for being in college… then it was on him to support both of us which was entirely unfair and breeded extreme amounts of resentment between us both. I had to go to a debt consolidator which helped, but even after consolidating the debt I was still looking at bankruptcy (which I couldn’t even afford.) We got some counseling for our relationship and things began to turn around right away.

Then we married–my husband paid for most of the wedding and I made most of the arrangements–and things literally changed overnight. For some reason fate gave us a second chance at fiscal responsibility. We both paid off our outstanding debt–between the two of us, a total of $13,000. We committed to separating our finances. I learned how to manage my spending. I’m not going to stand here and say I’m perfect at handling money, but I have matured considerably and that is evident in the financial choices I make now. I would rather die than go back to being so utterly financially dependent on my husband… and I’m not even completely satisfied with the way things are now. I have elaborate dreams of having my own savings account and my own Roth IRA. Just having enough to cover my expenses is no longer enough for me. Now that I’m back in the black, I want security that I can stay there.

So the news article I cited above caused us to sit down and have “the talk.” We talked about what we wanted for our lives, for our futures. We decided to open a joint savings account. We agreed that we’re going to adopt children eventually, once one or both of us is finished with college, and that we need to start saving for it. We talked about the kind of life we had now, and the kind of life we wanted in the future. We both agree we don’t need to live extravagant lifestyles–but that we would rather use our extra money for day-to-day perks, like being able to go and see a movie or go out to eat occasionally-- and for humongous and priceless perks, like traveling and helping our kids with their college educations. I was raised working class, and I don’t mind being middle class… right now if you asked me, “If you could spend money on any major purchase, what would it be?” I can’t really think of anything we need. We have a television and a video game system and DVDs and a regular supply of books. All I really want materially is the ability to continue to have these comforts. I don’t have dreams of the prettiest house on the block and the finest clothes and cars. It seems to me it would be way more important to have a reasonable house payment and retirement savings and the ability to sleep at night without worrying our financial life was going to fall apart at any moment.

Which brings me to Mexico. How much is this a necessary part of my career track and how much is it just another financially immature frivolous expense?

I didn’t mention it before, but this summer, about a week after I return from Mexico, we’re also planning to go on a European cruise. It’s a GIFT (yes-- a FREE European cruise) from his grandparents to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary–they’re bringing their whole damn family including grandkids to Spain, France, and Italy for 10 days. I cannot therefore make the argument that going to Mexico will be my only chance to travel ever. I can reasonably argue that Europe is a touristy kind of personal extravagance, and in Mexico I plan to work hard at a possibly very difficult job, and immerse myself in real culture and real issues-- so they can’t really be compared as the same thing. If I had to choose between the two I would choose Mexico in a heartbeat.

But… it’s still $3,000. We can afford it, but that’s not the issue. It’s $3,000 that might go toward adoption fees, an emergency hospital visit, a Roth IRA or a down payment on a house. I’m so incredibly torn and confused right now.

So what do you think? I’m asking because I don’t have a history of making sound financial decisions. Is $3,000 a drop in the bucket, is it a reasonable or necessary expenditure, or is it just a frivolous excursion? I also lack judgment because my brain is already playing anxiety tricks on me. I don’t know if my impulse to not go is entirely based on financial concerns, or just the fact that I’m scared shitless the same way I was with Chile. I am capable of constructing elaborate reasons for not doing things that terrify me.

Thus I ask for some common sense and objective analysis.

Thanks for your help. :slight_smile:

2

Go. GO.

It’s only $3,000 for a life experience. Something that could radically change your life and either intensify or dissuade your interest in getting a Masters. In addition, a program like this will give you loads of perspective and international experience (and stories for that matter) that will come in handy no matter what you do in life. You can never make the wrong choice in going abroad (no matter where you call homebase).

As for that other stuff - here’s the thing: You can’t work around time. You have the time and motivation to go to Mexico now. You won’t always have that. Everything else can be worked around.

Down payment? Wait a few months then do it. Adoption fees? Wait a few months or take out a loan. Emergency hospital visit? Put it on your credit card and work it out. That’s what people do. In fact, on edit - realize that once you buy a house or adopt a kid, you probably won’t have the time to go to Mexico. That window of opportunity gets closed.

Basically, you can’t afford to talk yourself out of having a valuable life experience. So I reiterate: GO.

3

Go. Absolutely. When you get back you will wonder where the time went, and be thirsty for more.

4

Go.

5

Go. No ifs, ands or buts. Just GO!

6

You’ve already passed up two shots at doing something that seems to be important to you. You may not ever get another shot. Take this one. Go. Learn. Live.

7

Go. It sounds like it will be a life-changing experience.

8

Go, go, go, go, GO!

You’ll be able to earn $3,000 many times over during your life. The opportunities to live with a family in another country, learn about their culture, and work with kids for three months are incredibly rare, and you have to jump at them whenever you can.

If you really want to go into social work, especially with Latino immigrants, an experience like this will set you apart from people who haven’t done that kind of work. In that respect, it could be very important to your career path - it could make the difference between a top-20 grad program for your MSW and another school, or it could have a significant impact on the amount of financial aid you get for grad school. Is it necessary for your career? Probably not… but it can make a huge difference.

The bigger difference, though, will be in you as a person. Career paths and academic plans change all the time, but an experience like the one you’re talking about stays with you for the rest of your life.

9

I realize that I’ll be going against the flow here, but GO!

10

That 3k worth of experience could mean the difference between an acceptance letter to Cal or a rejection letter. That experience in context looks very attractive on your application. Getting into Cal almost certainly mean a higher starting salary when you are through with school.

The cost:benefit analysis is telling me that that 3k is going to pay off in the long run in spades. You shouldn’t feel guilty about making an investment in your education and your future! Do it and have a blast!

11

You should go. You don’t have any kids right now… it’s the perfect time! You’re young, healthy and have your whole life ahead of you.

GO!

12

Thank you all for your advice. I spoke with my husband about it, he said financial worries should not even enter into my consideration since we’ll still have some savings even after I go. He said the only thing that should enter into consideration is whether I think I’d get something better out of a different program–but I really don’t. There’s even a possibility I will get the opportunity to help with group therapy for these girls–that would be huge for me going into the mental health field. I don’t think there’s a better program for my current needs and future goals.

The thing that strikes me the most about what has been said is that I may not have this opportunity in the future. I think I’ve been taking for granted that I can always go “some other time,” but that window of opportunity is narrowing… and I have no idea what things will look like financially even a year from now.

Yes I am afraid, I’m terrified. It’s the classic avoidance response–when you avoid doing something you fear, it feels better in the short run but in the long run makes it so much harder to do that thing.

But I think I have to do it anyways, I really do. :eek:

13

Happy for you! You’ve certainly thought it out from all the angles. Are you going to keep a journal? At the least, you’ll have material for an article, maybe even a book. Or a chapter for your autobiography.

14

GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO (repeat ad infinitum)

I see that they already convinced you so I’m staying off my soapbox but dangit woman if you didn’t go I’d have to come over and give you a good spankin’! Don’t make me! I’ve got two younger brothers and a dozen younger cousins, I’m one mean elder sister!

15

Go go go go go! I passed up an opportunity to study Hebrew and Spanish in Chile all expenses paid and I really regret it. I almost passed up my trip to Israel too and I am so glad I went.

16

By all means, go. Travel is the best thing you can spend your money on- everything else gets lost, used up or broken eventually, but travel stays with you always.

Also, in future job interviews, telling anectdotes about travel experiences usually works pretty well.

If you are still worried about the money, you might look into the Casa Guatemala orphanage in Rio Dulce, Guatemala. Last I heard, they were looking for a fairly large time comittment. But all they ask of volunteers is around two hundred dollars for food. Plane tickets into Guatemala from CA can be found for around three hundred dollars. It’s an independent non-church non-government aligned orphanage that tries it’s best to be self sustaining (by, for example, running a pig farm, a youth hostel, and a few other small local businesses). The kids are mostly kids that could not be kept by their families because of financial reasons or children who were removed from abusive situations. My mom spent three months there and I went on a short visit. I can say first hand it was a really good place for the kids, and a very enriching place for the volunteers. Doesn’t have the mental health aspect (though maybe you could start something), but it might be worth looking into.

17

I think I would look at it this way–

This opportunity is one of two things. It is a chance to spend time doing something that you really want to do, furthering your experiences (and potentially putting you in a position to earn a better salary on down the line with this experience) and having the experience of a lifetime. It’s something that you’ve basically passed on twice, and it sounds like you’ve not really let go of those missed opportunities.

Or, it’s the third opportunity that you’ll pass on and regret NEXT time this opportunity arises again.

Which do you want?

18

Any idea how rare it is to get not one, not two, but three chances at something like this? You missed the first two but you can still nail this one! (Besides, it will tell you if you want to drop this social work thing - crash course, right?) I’ll always regret that I didn’t study abroad in college; I can’t do something like that now because I’ve got a job and a mortgage and a and a and a, but you can and you won’t be able to do it later, I promise you. Do it now!

19

Defiinitely go, but consider other Latin American countries. I lived on the Caribben coast of Colombia for nearly two years, and had the best time of my life (of course, I was single)! Caribbean Colombia has better music, the people are more diverse, and they have more fun. They also work their asses off, contrary to what the cachos up in the Andes say. Barranquilla is an industrial city, but it has the second largest Carnaval after rio (and it begins in January)! It’s an industrial city, and you won’t hear a word of English on the streets. You can go to where the cruise ships stop, and see the colonial arcitecture [sp?]. And you’ll finally figure out why people do the strange things they do in Garcia Marquez books.

20

And I’m sure it will be even cheaper if you fly from Baja.