I believe they told me you can deduct 50 dollars per month on income tax. That would hardly be an incentive. 
I got to know a couple of exchange students over my senior year. The German girl mentioned that nothing she did over in our school would transfer to her school back home and she was losing a year of schooling in order to to the exchange. She did actually work hard in her classes, but except for social studies, French, and PE she only took art classes.
The boy from Georgia had already finished secondary school back home, all he was delaying was his army service. We also had a girl from Thailand, but I don’t remember if she said anything about credits transfering back home. She did mention she went to some kind of international school in Bangkok and not a regular Thai school. Her father was a high ranking general.
I think I would be very leery of having a teenage exchange student, but that’s just me. I think a good percentage of families have kids of their own who are approximately the same age as the exchange kids.
That was the case with all the exchange students at my high school, although there weren’t very many, just three or four that I recall; it wasn’t a big school. Two were boys from Chile and Norway, who both were very popular and quite good-looking. Another was a very shy girl from Japan, IIRC. I remember almost nothing about her, and I even interviewed her for the school paper.
The community college near where I live has a Kaplan Int’l. ESL program. Students have to demonstrate enough facility in English before they can take college courses, as I understand it, so Kaplan classes get them up to speed. My parents and I hosted several students, with varying degrees of success.
Most of the participants in this program are either boys (of course no girls!) from United Arab Emirates and a few other countries near there, plus boys and girls from Taiwan or Japan. Nearly all are from fairly wealthy families, so they’re used to servants, lots of spending money, etc.
At the time, the students paid money to the program, and then the program paid hosts $500/month. We were able to choose the gender and country of origin of our students. We spoke to some other host families, and we decided we only wanted girls. We felt the UAE boys, in particular, were probably not a good fit for us, given the less-than-feminist-leaning attitudes toward women they were likely to have.
Our first two students were girls from Taiwan. They didn’t know each other before they got here, but they became friends. The one who stayed w/ my parents, Lui, became very close to them, and they still keep in contact with her. She was really sweet and respectful, a really cool girl with a great personality.
Mine was less so. She was moody and often rude, she made messes she wouldn’t clean up, and she broke several things but never apologized or offered to replace them. She was clean about her person, always dressing nicely, but she never washed her hands after using the bathroom, and when I confronted her about it, she lied and got pissy about it, but, uh, I could hear that she didn’t turn on the water in the sink! I explained that not washing spread disease, and that washing was not optional in my home.
She also threw her used sanitary pads in the bathroom trash, and they sat there until I smelled a HORRIFIC stench (I never put anything icky in the trash, so it’s not emptied frequently). Upon investigation, I asked her not to do that, but to take them to the outdoor trash can ASAP. Next month, same problem. I was PISSED. Not long after that, she moved out, and good riddance.
After that, Lui moved in with her boyfriend, and we acquired two new girls, Japanese this time. Mine was lovely, but had such rudimentary English skills, I had a very hard time talking to her. She disliked not having cable TV to watch, and she moved out after only a couple months.
The girl who showed up at my parents’, well, she was a NIGHTMARE. She was dirty, as in, she rarely bathed at all, and when she did, she didn’t wash her hair. I’m not kidding. She was just gross. She had one of the most heinous cases of pizza face acne I’ve ever seen, and she refused to change the sheets on her bed until my Mom insisted, and stood over her to make her do it. Seriously, the room smelled awful, and the pillowcases and pillows were totally ruined.
AND THEN! Then she started trying to put the moves on my Dad! He’s so oblivious, he had no idea at first, until my Mom pointed it out to him. He was revolted and seriously offended, because of the hygiene thing, and the fact that he’s super old school respectful of all women, and he was horrified that this early-20s girl was being so grossly inappropriate. My Mom was at work one day when this skank blatantly propositioned my Dad. He very firmly refused her, and told her to either go to her room and stay there or to leave the house immediately. She went to her room.
When Mom got home, Dad told her what happened, and La Bruja Roja™ emerged. She marched to this chick’s room and told her to pack her shit, she was leaving that night, full stop. The girl tried to refuse, saying that my Mom couldn’t kick her out, that only my Dad could, as the head of the household (oh, yeah, that’s totally the dynamic in my family – snort) She soon realized she was quite wrong. Within the hour my Mom had called the program administrator to come pick her up, and that was the last anyone saw of her.
My parents’ last Japanese girl, Chika, was adorable, and my parents also became very fond of her. I don’t know that we had a very good batting average with hosting, though.
I do not think much of some of the organizations that place foriegn students.
When I was in High school the host families were screened very carefully. The student was placed in a family with a student that also had a student in the same grade and same sex. Now they place them with any family that has a room.
Tobi a student from Germany was placed with a family that had no children. Having a teenager in the house was more than they expected. He was dumped into the high school not knowing anyone there. My son and Tobi ended up being friends. Our house was always open to my boy’s and their friends. Dinner could be just my wife and me ot us and up to 20 kids. But there was always one rule before joining us for dinner, call your parents and let them know that you were eating here. When Tobi would call they were never home. The final touch was the Presendent’s holiday, Tobi’s host family asked if he could stay at a friend’s house for the holiday because they were going to a family gettogether.
About a week after the holiday my son came to me and asked if we could open up our house to Tobi. We got a matress and put it on the floor of his room and Tobi moved in the folllowing week.
One of the best things that ever happened to my wife and me. I gained a son. The absolute hardest thing Il have ever gone through was the year end when we took him to the airport to fly home. I could not leave the airport until we saw his plane leave. And I just cried, I thought I would never see him again. But over the years he has come back to visit several times.
Should you do it. If you already have your kids friends in your home and you have a student that will be in the same school or grade then yes.
[quote=“alphaboi867, post:22, topic:542547”]
I got to know a couple of exchange students over my senior year. The German girl mentioned that nothing she did over in our school would transfer to her school back home and she was losing a year of schooling in order to to the exchange. She did actually work hard in her classes, but except for social studies, French, and PE she only took art classes.
QUOTE]
Tobi also told us that his year here would put a year behind his classmates.
After Tobi he arrainged for a friend of his to come over go to school and stay with us. If she was not Tobi’s friend I would have said no. She did have a good stay but California was a shock for her. My oldest was graduating from A school in San Diego. We picked her up at the SF airport one day and the next day drove to San Diego. She could not believe how big the state was. While down there his class had a graduating party at the beach. We had 20 young men with us as we were setting up for the picnick, I figured she was about to change into her swimming suit right there. I walked over to her and quietly told her where the changing rooms were. She was kinda shocked that it would be a problem for her just changing on the beack
My sister has done it few times and they got money every month to cover any expenses (I think it was something like 1000 a month). They had an interesting variety of students, some were from Korea and very quiet and reserved, one was from Saudi Arabia and a teenager from Germany. Her favorite was a young woman from Mexico, they bonded. Her boys liked the teenage guy from Spain the best.
The only disaster was a younger boy from (I think) Korea. He was ver withdrawn and cried every day. He would not come out of his room and only wanted to call home. The agency eventually moved him to a family that had immigrated from the same country he was from.
I would think an issue like that should be covered first with the student. Some of the Asian students my parents had were shy & reserved & would never have brought something like that up themselves.* A couple of them washed their own underwear & had to be asked not to hang it in the wardrobes to dry. (they were very shy!)
A German student will hopefully be a good fit for your family. My parents & in-laws had mainly Asian students. The girls would initially ask to be placed with a family with children, then ask to be moved to a child free family.(like my parents & in-laws) 
I’m in New Zealand & they just weren’t used to how noisy family life can be over here.
- I agree thats just rude once she was told.
Yes, I should have thought to make it clear that sanitary supplies should be taken out, but it didn’t cross my mind because A. I don’t menstruate any longer (had surgery to kill it, yay!), and B. I would NEVER have done such a thing without emptying the trash myself, because I was taught manners and discretion. This girl had maids at home and had never done a lick of housework in her life. I guess she thought magic elves would dispose of her used pads. :smack:
I helped a non-profit group in San Diego find host families and also hosted a German boy, age 16 for ~ 3 months. German students in general are usually the most fluent in English…ie, when they arrive they already speak English very well, their weakness is their grammar and writing which puts them at the same level as other American high school students. It’s only expensive if you don’t set your rules and expectations at the beginning of the stay. Also, you may want to request full profile information about the student of interest. The letter the student writes to the potential host family gives a lot of insight into the students personality. I provided support to 5 German students when they arrived and I can tell you they were wonderful. The boys are typical teenagers and eat a lot. When I had my German student hr drank loads of orange juice. After I realized how much he was drinking I told him that for every glass of orange juice he would need to drink at least 2 glasses of water which slowed him way down. The students are supposed to bring money for any extras outside of meals and because he knew my boundaries he would by his own additional groceries if he didn’t like what we cooked. It worked out well. It is a lot of work but it is also rewarding. If you are interested in a German student I believe the program I worked with still has German students without host families and I would be happy to help you determine the right student for you.
Hope this helps…
My younger brother briefly went to Germany as an exchange student in high school. His host family had a son his age who was an only child and thrilled to have someone new to hang out with for a bit, and they all got along great. It was more of a cultural program than anything else, since it wasn’t long enough to actually pick up German (which he knew maybe 5 words of). The family was well-educated and spoke only English to him. He went to Realschule (Germany has a three-tiered system with tracking after grade 4; Realschule is below Gymnasium but above Hauptschule) with his host brother and had an especially good time in their English classes. They took him on a bunch of outings and out to various restaurants and he had a blast.
He did have one extremely amusing experience one morning when he came down to breakfast and found his host parents watching the TV news in some obvious consternation. From the look they gave him, he gathered that something awful had happened and they were trying to figure out how to break it to him. Then, the host mother uttered the sentence that cracks me up every time I think of it:
“[Brother], your country is on fire.”
My brother was obviously quite taken aback and momentarily speechless at this, thinking of nuclear wars or some apocalyptic menace. He decided more information was necessary and hesitantly inquired, “Um, which part? ALL of it?” She pointed at the TV. He couldn’t understand the German announcer, but figured it out from the pictures on the screen. It turned out they’d been doing a report on some of the wildfires that spring up every year in California, and his host parents, unable to conceptualize how truly huge the US is, thought this meant that a large part of the country might soon be incinerated and that he might have no home to go back to. He explained this to them, then excused himself for a minute and hid back in the bedroom so he could roar with laughter.
One consideration is whether you have traveled enough yourself to have a sense of how much cultural variation is out there. If your reaction to someone who bathes less than is normal in your culture is to be horrified and disgusted, hosting an exchange student is probably not for you.
I was an exchange student. There will most likely be cultural differences. My advice would be to a) think in advance about what your “dealbreakers” are (curfew, chores, transportation, inviting friends over, raiding the fridge, not eating what is served …) and lay out the rules in the first week. The first day or two may be “honeymoon” time, but plan on having a serious conversation about how you run your house within the first week. Do this early on so that it doesn’t have to become angry and judgmental. And do not assume that their household was run in a similar fashion. Go ahead and state what seems obvious to you.
If something comes up that seems like it’s probably cultural, try very hard to be firm but not judgmental. Most placement organizations will intervene if there is something that’s not getting through to the student. Call on them if necessary. Don’t work with an agency that doesn’t offer this type of help. Ask them for examples of issues that they have resolved if you’re not sure they are up to the task.
Not every difference in hygiene is such a holy war as we make it out to be. The family I stayed with eventually had to lay down the law with me that walking around barefoot in the house was totally unacceptable in their culture. (I had no idea! I was raised that kids absolutely should not wear their shoes on the carpet.) It was just as unhygienic to them as some of the stuff upthread was to some of you. For the dealbreakers, they do need to buy into “when in Rome,” and if necessary work with the agency to drive the point home. But consider that a big part of why we live the way we do is cheap water and expensive labor. If you lived in a culture where those were reversed, you might do things differently, too.
My parents hosted one when they were in college (so they were only about 5 years older than her). They loved it. She was just here for a summer exchange, and they were both off of school for the summer (though working), and they had a great time. They stayed in touch and when my parents brought my brothers to France, they visited their old exchange student… who had a daughter about the same age as my youngest brother!
(bump)
So Notchimine, how have things worked out?
My wife and I are currently hosting a exchange student from Sweden. We are unable to have children naturally and are considering foster care. We thought this would be a good (experiment) as far as having a young person living in our house. She is 17 and comes from a well to do family back home. We fell in love with her as soon as we got her profile. We redocarated the guest room and planned a assortment of trips from Disnet World,to New Orleans and Dallas etc. (we live in Louisiana). At first all was fantastic, she got along well with my nieces and nephews who she would be going to the local high school with. She loved american high school,football games and all the social aspects she didnt have in school back home. She is a pretty girl and made alot of friends very quickly. She would sit down with us at night, eat supper, watch the news and we would chat for hours about politics,music and stuff. Her and I had alot in common, she was very 'worldly" and liberal coming from sweden. Me being a new waver/artist child of the 80’s we clicked right away. My wife however is from a conservative,country family and eventhough she loved her they simply didnt have much in common. I got called unexpectedly to work out of town (I work in the film industry) and I had to move to New Orleans for 4 months. I came home at least every other weekend and when I did Camilla would always stay in with us and we would have “family night” which meant anything from watching movies to playing board games. My wife would tell me she felt “weird” sometimes because they wold s often watch tv at night and say very little to nothing at all to each other. I encouraged her to be more interactive and chat her up about anything. I wasnt too worried figuring I would be home soon and be the entertainment for the house. The trip to Disney came, and it fell on the week of Thanksgiving. We asked her if she wanted to stay home and have a traditional american thanksgiving or go to Disney…it was ok with us either way since thanksgiving wasnt a big deal in our house. She replied that it didbnt make a difference to her (her answer to nearly everything) and we should do what we wanna do. I thought the trip was alot of fun, we took alot of pictures and and spent three long days touring the parks (very expencesive but I was glad to do it). They went back home, my wife had a two day conference and Camilla asked if she could just stay home rather than a friend. I didnt see a problem with it since she has been zero dicipline trouble. I was planning a huge christmass dinner with my wife that night over the phone and we got a call from the exchange agent…Camilla was unhappy, and wanted to “meet” with us before deciding to leave or not. I was devestated as was my wife. I knew she wasnt smiling everyday (what teen girl does?" but I had no idea it was that bad. I walked around nearly in tears, begged my boss to let me off the weekend so I could make the trip back home. That sat, the agent came over and met with us while Camilla was at soccer. It was awkward and basicly she was unhappy with me being gone all the time and with the lack of interaction with my wife. I wasnt angry, I could understand where she was coming from. But I told the agent that we are making every effort and its equally hard to interact on our end too if she doesnt open up with us…if she doesnt want to feel just like a guest then quit acting like one. So, after the eye opening meeting, we went to watch her play her soccer game, had lunch, came home and decorated the tree together, went shopping…and had a really cool day. Then we had the meeting with the agent that night with all of us. Camilla looks me right in the eye and tells me that its alot better when I was home. I was kinda suprised since most teens I know (myself included back in the day) couldnt wait to get out of the house on the weekends. We had a long talk, I told her she has to speak her mind to us and that all we do is for her…so help us out. It felt alot better afterwards, and eventhough I am still paranoid while Im away. I always tell me wife to tell her “Hi” for me when I call and I am home every single weekend and we always do “something”. Her and my wife are connecting alot better now and she tells me they chat and watch tv together nearly every night. When last I was home, Camilla came down stairs and asked where Stephanie was. I said she was in her office and she walked up and asked to stay home from school. It put a big smile on my face becasue she used to just ask me before. So, its having its ups and downs…and weve still 5 months to go. We love her very much and I hope beyond hope she will stay close to us like I read on some of these other posts. But I gotta say, I’ll have to think long and hard about getting another. There is alot of heartache involved and we get “attached” easy…
We were suppose to host an exchange student for the whole year, but after 10 weeks it turned into a nightmare. I have a 15 year old daughter so we thought getting an exchange student the same age as my daughter would be fun and a great cultural experience and being close in age my daughter would be able to show her around at high school. To anyone considering being a host family think long and hard, I will never do it again. I don’t even know where to be begin with our experience as a host family. First our exchange student did not come to the US to be part of a family and experience new culture, she came over here and wanted to be “popular” at the high school especially the boys, and she was very disappointed after the first week when she had not become miss popularity. I then discovered she had a major problem with lying and was even telling my daughter to keep things from me, she didn’t care who she hurting as long as she was moving forward in her pursuit of popularity, and she refused to listen to authority figures, she was in another country without her parents so she could do as she pleased, at only 15 she was convinced she knew everything including how things worked in this country and especially what was wrong with this country. What she doesn’t know is that after just a few short weeks in an American high school she has given herself the reputation as the exchange slut. And then the best part to top it all off I figured out she is anorexic and we confronted her about she denied it, but then told my daughter and other students at school she did have an eating disorder, even said her parents knew about it and sent her to the US anyway. When considering being a host family first just say “no” but if you still want to consider it, I think you need to be aware that it costs about $15,000 for these kids to come over here, so needless the say most of them come from well off families. They are spoiled, and rather than their parents dealing with their issues they send them over here to get “fixed.” I insisted that she be removed from my home this was way beyond what I should be expected to handle and fortunately she was removed before she was able to have any real influence over my daughter.
Since the OP hasn’t posted or been around for at least two years, I’m going to close this thread.
If anyone has anything to talk about or ask, feel free to start a new one.