So late last week we wound up signing on to host a student from China for 3 weeks (Beijing, I believe). It’s through a summer program target at high-school-age students, and we’ve done similar things in the past.
Of course, in the past we had at least some smattering of the language represented in the household (I speak French and a tiny bit of Italian; my son speaks some Spanish). Nobody here speaks a word of Chinese (the student has good written English skills and part of the program includes English lessons).
He arrives in 4 days.
What are some dos / don’ts regarding things like greeting him (bow? handshake? hug?). What might a teenager like in his room or around the house to make him feel less homesick? Any foods we 'murkins eat that would be gross to someone from China? Anything else?
Handshake, probably. If he has his smartphone with him, wifi access will give him ready access to his usual Chinese social networks and videos. As for food, expect him to be a little put off by cold cuts and cold sandwiches in general, and to prefer some broth as part of both lunch and dinner, and probably hot tea to drink. But he’ll be no stranger to soft drinks and possibly even fancy coffee drinks.
Be as American as you can. He wants to be treated like you would treat an American. If you would hug an American who was going to stay in your house, run on up and grab the little guy.
I went on an exchange to France when I was 15. The family met me and kissed both cheeks. First time in my life I’d been kissed by strangers. I got used to it, and thought it was charming.
Same thing with food. Have bagels, cream cheese, and breakfast cereal around. A fridge full of coke, milk, oj, and cold cuts. Apples, bananas, and grapes. Peanut butter and jelly. Hash browns and ketchup. Chocolate chip cookies. Burgers and hot dogs on the grill. Potato salad. Chips and salsa. Potato chips and dip.
If you have a sense of humor, serve that La Choy chop suey one night and ask him if it tastes like home. If the kid lives in Beijing, he’s seen our fast food, but he still may be interested in actually going inside one here.
You don’t need to serve seafood so that he sees things he recognizes; he’ll figure out spaghetti and meatballs.
And take the kid to a Major League ball game and buy him a hat from the stadium. He’ll cherish it, even if it’s from Wrigley Field.
ETA: never mind. You’ve done this before. You’ll be fine.
I think bigger issues I’ve seen are things like smoking, alcohol use, expectations of work around the house, cleaning up after themselves, getting along with others kids in the house, and internet use.
I’ve never hosted a Chinese student, but I had many in my classes when I taught high school.
Their culture does not have rigid adherence to rules and taboos to the extent that some others do. There is little need to worry about offending him with a handshake or something like that. Chinese visitors are generally enthusiastic about experiencing American culture. As Grotonian said, show him American food, clothing, souvenirs, etc… He will want those things.
Chinese students who visit the USA are usually very strong in academics, and also very dedicated. They care enormously about grades and such, because in their culture poor performance is seen as dishonoring the family.
It will be great. If needed, use google translate. He’s here for the total American experience.
It’s 2015 and not 1985. He will be quite familiar with McD, Pizza Hut, KFC and the like. Chinese versions of course but still the basics are covered.
If he’s from northern China (Beijing), he probably has a wheat based diet. He’ll probably love pasta with just butter, pasta in white sauce, pasta in tomato sauce. He may want rice but they aren’t such big rice eaters in China, and he’ll want short grain (Japanese rice is most common in the US versus something like thai long grain). He should know how to cook it on the stove, or you can youtube it. and figure out what is edible
Meat will be fine. BBQ as well. Buffalo wings should be a big hit - Chinese love their wings and drumsticks (breast meat less so). Cheese may or may not be weird for him. Eggs are common. Chinese tend to have a lot of broth style soups such as chicken or beef bones. There isn’t an animal the chinese don’t like eating so something like a buffalo burger would probably seem pretty cool.
Might find salad or raw veggies a little weird. Generally, Chinese like their veggies stir fried.
If there is a big Asian market, you could take him and get some “necessities.”
Just immerse him in Americana and see what sticks. Do be aware that Chinese is a low context language. The words themselves convey less meaning than a high context like English. So “yes” might mean “a polite yes but I’m a little leary”, or “holy cow, what am I signing up for here.” But don’t over think it.
Oh, he’ll probably love to go to a baseball game or other big sporting event if that’s around you. Pro is even better. That could be the highlight of his trip. But don’t sweat it. Even a back yard BBQ might just be the bee’s knees. He probably lives in a small condo in a concrete jungle.
I’ll PM you my mobile in the extremely Unlikely event it is overwhelming for some reason.
A question about food:
Is there any truth to the stereotype I’ve heard that Chinese people don’t like dairy products?
(when I was in high school 40 years ago, there was an exchange student from Germany who had a funny story about jello. He’d never seen it before, and had no idea what it was, and thought it looked disgusting, but made his best attempt to eat it politely.)
Chinese do not bow. That is Japanese. A handshake is fine.
Take him to an Asian market and let him shop for what he likes.
Access to the internet seems to be a necessity for most Chinese males.
I have been teaching in China for the past 7 years. Most Chinese boys seem to be spoiled by their mothers, and have never done any household chores. You may want to let him know what is expected as far as keeping his room and bathroom clean.
Chinese kids like the same flashy crap your own teenagers like (in fact, it was probably manufactured in China). Make sure your wi-fi is easily accessible. They want to go neck-deep into Americana and they treat McDonald’s and KFC as holy sacraments. If you want to really be a hero, take this kid to a kosher deli.
Bowing is mostly Korean; when I bowed to strangers in Tokyo, they looked at me like I was an inbred rustic.
Food: The only food that I’ve heard of a Chinese person being grossed out by is peanut butter. Huge amounts of cheese may also be considered unappealing, but cheese on something like pizza will probably be fine. Have lots of fresh fruit around, and try to serve plenty of cooked veggies-- Chinese people often find our diet too carb-heavy. He may prefer hot water over ice water, but it’s more likely he prefers a soda. Our habit of eating cold lunches (sandwiches and the like) is considered odd. In a China lunch is usually a large hot meal served at home.
Customs: Chinese people are flexible and not easily offended. There are bad connotations to gifts of clocks, knives, green hats and white flowers. But even if you did screw that up, a young person wouldn’t be mortally offended. Showers are more of a morning thing than an evening thing, and after lunch many people take a long nap. He may find the amount of free time he has a little disconcerting- Chinese students tend to be pretty scheduled up.
Oh, here is a good one-- have a toothbrush and a comb for him. These things are typically provided by Chinese hotels and hosts, and people tend not to travel with them. It’s kind of like how we expect to find soap at a hotel and do not pack it. A large plastic bowl/wash basin may also be appreciated. Chinese people often wash their underwear by hand daily and think it’s kind of odd to just chuck it in a hamper. He may also appreciate a pair of flip flops to wear around the house, but he will probably pack his own pair.
Maybe have a couple of chopsticks ready for him, in case he prefers to eat using those. I once had a Chinese flatmate who was very interested in any kind of foreign culture - but he felt weird eating with fork and knife or even eating slices of pizza with his bare hands.
You should reinforce, often initially, “Ask me anything! I promise an answer and will never be offended! Just ask!”
During the early days ask often; Anything you need? Are you comfortable with this? Are you okay with that? Etc.
Every new place or experience, Got any questions?
If you’re relentless in the beginning they will internalize it’s okay to just ask, both you and those around them. Something not always easy for a lot of Asians, and a very valuable skill in a new place.
I hosted a Chinese exchange student for 7 months a few years back. I’ll echo what others said: Treat the kid like your own kid, they are here for an American experience. Don’t bend over backwards to accommodate what they are used too. At the same time, cultural exchange goes both ways, so talk a lot and learn what it is they ARE used to. if there is an Asian grocery where you live, as the student if they’d like to go and pick out some tings that they’d like you to try, for example. Keep the lines of communication open and keep things interesting, especially if they are only going to be there for three weeks. It was a little different for me, since my student was with us for months - we stuck to a very regular routine with interesting things to do / trips to take on occasion.
I have never hosted a foreigner, but have been a guest (as an adult) in several foreign countries. I was a bit dissapointed if the host(s) went out of their way to make everything more “American” for me, I like to experience the local culture in full. An occasional “American” meal was appreciated, though.
I’m pretty decent with chopsticks, but can’t imagine trying to tackle a slice of pizza with them! :eek:
Chinese people generally don’t eat with their bare hands, and find the whole concept pretty eccentric. I’ve heard when the very first American fast food restaurant opened, burgers and fries were served with disposable plastic gloves (and you still sometimes get them with fried chicken and the like.)
There’s plenty of pizza to be had in the big cities in China. They are just as likely to eat it with their hands as with a knife and fork. I don’t think very many people are eating it with chopsticks though.
You do find some.... unusual toppings on pizza in Asia though.
