I’m a bit flabbergasted, but really not that upset about it. You have to realize, we’re back here in the holler in the mountains of NC. These people don’t place that much importance on school. I’m not going to let my son become nonchalant about school, but he is going to see it all around him. Plus, I figure they’ve probably been doing this by themselves for so long that they have a touch of cabin fever and when they saw a possible out on a weekday, they thought they’d go for it.
I have occasional weekdays off, so I’m just going to offer to be there so they can go golfing, but it sure as hell won’t be for pennies.
If they’re paying him just $20 while they go out and have a good time, they’re just being bums.
If, they had no access to cheap child labour, and had to hire a professional for palliative care. The costs would spiral into the thousands very quickly.
Oh, of course! Absolutely, I don’t doubt it. I’m 37 years old. I’ve been meaning to talk to my boss for, oh, a year now about being reimbursed for gas I spend driving to patients’ houses. I dread it, so I put it off, rationalize it for a while as not really all that big a deal, tell myself I can just take the expenses off on my taxes, just plain chicken out, etc. It’s incredibly awkward for me to stand up for myself and talk to people about giving me more money.
You know what might have helped? If I’d had some practice doing it when I was 13.
At this point, with them asking him to skip school, I think it’s appropriate for YOU to have a talk with them. Explain that your son can’t skip school. Period. And tell them that he will be looking for some after-school/weekend work to fund his trip and for pocket money, so he may be less available to “visit” the old person. That way it appears that his previous time sitting was not considered a job, but now he needs a job. And ask if they’ll write a reference for him so he can look for babysitting/caregiving jobs.
No, no, no, he doesn’t skip school so they can play golf. And if they ask him again, then he can’t do ANY work for them. His primary goal, at this age, needs to be his schooling, and nothing else interferes with that. He skips school if he’s sick, or if there’s a real emergency.
Yeah, being a caregiver sucks, and I’m glad that he’s able to help them out. But they don’t get to abuse his good nature.
And I am also in favor of the idea that he needs to be finding other jobs that pay more realistically.
I just had a thought. You might also say, while asking for the reference, “Boy, I hear sitters are making $X/hr these days! That sure is more than I was paid!” Since the people are older, they may not have realized how much jobs like this pay these days. Sort of like Grandma giving you 5 in your birthday card because that was a lot of money in her day. They may have gotten .25-.50/hr when they babysat, and so think paying around a dollar is equitable.
I would focus more on long-term career opportunities over the piddling wages that a 14 year old can expect to make, although this situation appears to be offering neither.
I am surprised and somewhat taken aback by multiple instances of reluctance to pay small sums for educational opportunities, although I suppose most of us have become accustomed to not paying directly for our children’s education.
I think it should be up to him to decide whether he wants to be responsible enough to earn enough money so that he can go on the field trip. Let him decide if staying with this lady or going on the field trip is more important to him. Make it clear that $20 every two weeks is probably not going to work.
Same with the other things he wants. If you are wanting to teach financial responsibility, you have to let him choose. Otherwise, it’s just you taking on all the responsibility.
