When I was about 23, in 1996, I picked up and moved from NJ to San Francisco, simply because I needed a change. I had one friend in SF.
8 years later, I’d have to say it was the best thing I ever did. I no longer live in SF, but I love the city. I’m vry happily married to a woman I met there. I’m no longer the bitter, angsty bastard I was as a kid.
For me, it worked out great. I was a rootless kid, you’re not. But it sounds like a fairly “easy” transition - wife has a job lined up, you own a home there… Go for it!
The problem is, I love my job. Being a teacher is a real passion for me, and I think transitioning from a small liberal arts college to a huge 55k plus university would be a little tough. I do believe I am up for the challenge.
Six months ago, my husband and I sold almost everything we owned and moved ourselves, our baby, and our dog to Australia, where my husband’s from. I’d only been for two visits before we moved. We had just enough money to make the move and my husband lined up a job before we left (I stay at home). Since you already have a house, obviously are very familiar with the area, and your job won’t be a problem, I would say it doesn’t seem like that much of a risk. There’s no way you could keep your CT house? Maybe rent it out? That would be sad to lose that.
Anyway, we took the risk and it’s not really working out for us. Part of that is the circumstances under which we moved - sort of a rush, because my father-in-law is very ill. Part of that is homesickness, on both of our parts. Part of it is financial. Anyway, no biggie. We’re going to stay here for a few more years, then head back. We’ll be a little bit further behind financially than we would have been if we’d stayed, but I don’t regret coming here in the first place. I think it’s been good for my husband (if we never had come back, he’d always wonder what if…), and it’s been a good adventure and learning experience for me. I’m also glad that my son, as a dual citizen, will be able to say he’s lived in both countries.
7 years ago I jumped ship and moved from Montreal to Vancouver, sight unseen. Heck, I’d never been further west than London Ontario. The six years I spent there were pretty damn good.
Last I picked up and moved again, this time to New York. Again, it was a city I’d never visited. And again, I’m doing pretty good.
Why don’t you send your wife ahead to see if she actually likes the job? That way, you could finish out the year at Yale, initiate a job search while you are still working, take care of business with the house and stuff, and have an ace up your sleeve if she hates the job and wishes she were back home.
From reading your posts, its sounds like you don’t really want to go. You love your house, your job, and it sounds like you love CT too. Have you told your wife what you’ve posted here? You may think your wife’s happiness is more important than your own, but don’t forget, she probably feels the same way about you.
I’m saying all this because I’m married to a California boy and living in Virginia. He is not happy, and we are stuck here for the forseeable future. If I could go back in time I would never have asked him to move here at all, it was not worth it for me.
I don’t mean to tell you you shouldn’t go, just talk about it some more with your wife. Best of luck with your decision.
I like the state, but Phoenix is a pit. I think it’s because nobody is from Phoenix. Everyone there is from somewere else. To me, it’s a city with no culture. Plus, you’ll spend half of your time in a car.
The only thing I was going to say was to make sure you can deal with the weather differences, but I see you went to college there and you have a house there, so I assume you’d know what you’re getting into if you moved there permanently.
I mention this because I knew a guy (well, I know a lot of people this has happened to) who moved from the midwest (where there was plenty of rain, snow in winter, etc.) to either Arizona or Nevada, and he couldn’t deal with the change. “Too dry” he said. He moved back to the midwest. If you’re really used to having all four seasons (with snow in the winter, etc.) and you go to a desert area or warm area (like Arizona) where winter means that you wear closed-toed shoes and a sweater, you might not be happy. And it works the other way, of course. Someone who is used to wearing only a sweater in the winter may never adjust to snow and ice. But, others thrive on the difference.
Well, I’m just guessing now, but he’s probably the kind of guy who thinks that most of these big, tough-guy-acting Yooper hunter wannabees up here all dressed up in their camo gay-finery are really just a bunch of lazy pussies who think hunting is about stocking a baitpile all year long, only to then sit on their arses on an outhouse blind next to the baitpile and wait for some deer to walk up, at which time they can blast its chest open and then run around and tell all their friends what great hunters they are.
I always try to remind myself that when I start trying to think and act like a Yooper, I’m basically giving myself a temporary lobotomy. It’s basically day-to-day for me up here in the winter, but summers are paradise.
However, EidM is a really funny movie, at least up until the last 20 minutes or so.
Hmmmm. Upon further reflection, I can see that I forgot that I wasn’t in the Pit anymore. Apologies for any impact caused by my strongly-worded sentiments.
