Sign nothing.
Have a friend with a home/small business write them for a job reference.
If they lie/badmouth you, sue their stupid Yuppie fannies for many simeoleons.
The HR department is clearly being run by a bunch of hamsters. They have no leverage.
And stop feeling guilty about leaving after 2 days. Even if it was a fabulous company to work for, a better offer came in and you took it. That’s the way the ball bounces in the big, bad world of business.
And you’ve provided them with yet another reason why they should treat their employees better.
I think it best to simply ignore the letter.
I also work in Kennewick so I’m being tortured with curiosity as to what company this is. 
I would not sign that form. I also wouldn’t feel guilty about leaving that job for the better prospect. Hope your other job is going great!
Clearly our experiences are at variance, but I’d rather not hijack the thread. Regardless of the specific terms used on the forms, it’s obvious that signing them would be an extraordinarily bad idea.
Crap, I didn’t even notice the OP was local! Now I’m curious too.
I reckon you should fold like an umbrella and sign all the forms with minimal fuss. That’s what I’d do, and just look at where that attitude got me (I’m a trillionaire, btw).
Where did you get all that Monoploy money anyway, Mbossa? 
Well, of course not, with those tiny little arms. God, point out all their weaknesses, why don’t you.
You should see if you can make a good paper airplane out of the forms.
It sounds like standard bullshit some HR person is required to send. They likely don’t care, and neither should you. Trash it and enjoy your new job.
Nope. I walked in and said I was interested. They gave me a application to fill out and told me to come back in for an audition the next day. I came in. The audition lasted 90 seconds. They sent me upstairs to fill out forms.
Thirded or fourthded. Two days? They’ve got a lot of nerve.
Honestly, I think you’d better sign the document and send it back to them. Certainly #1 & #2, but especially #3. The circumstances could be dire if you chose to ignore this.
Sincerely,
Catbert
Don’t sign anything. Why should you?