OK, so it’s creeping up on me: The Resignation. I don’t know entirely what I’m supposed to do; this is the first “decent” job I’ve ever had.
So, I’ve pegged a week from Friday as the day I hand in my two weeks’ notice. How do I go about this? I know from what I’ve read that my letter should be as detail-free as possible. But what time of day should I hand it in? And what should I say if I’m questioned? I don’t really want to give away my reason for leaving (going back to school, in a field unrelated to my job).
Due to a medical condition that causes me to masterbate twenty times a day, I am unable to continue my employment with this firm. Also, as I have had intercourse with most of the women in this office (and some of the men) I feel that I have already accomplished most of my professional goals and would prefer to work in a more challenging environment.
As I am about to go into hiding due to some…unpleasentness, I would prefer my last paycheck and any unused vacation time be given to me in cash before close of business today.
Use company letterhead. Put the day’s date at the top.
Dear X (your boss);
I have decide not to continue employment at Company Y. I am providing you with two weeks notice to allow you adequate time to assign my duties elsewhere. Consider this offical notice of my resignation as of sate z.
To whom it may concern (or your bosses/managers name):
Be advised that this letter will serve as written notice of my resignation from my position at ABC company.
My last day of work will be Friday, September 15, 2006 (or whatever).
Sincerely,
Joe Boggs.
That’s always worked for me, and I’ve never had a boss question me. Occasionally co-workers will be interested in what you’re up to, but what you tell them is a matter of personal preference.
Oops, sorry I didn’t read your last line. Why would you not want your emplyer to know that you plan to consider your education? If they like you , they might offer to pay for it or otherwise support you.
Well, the thing is, I already lied. When I interviewed for this position, the boss asked if I could stick around for a few years. I was pretty sure (80%) that I’d be going back to school this year but said “Sure!” anyways. Hey, if you need a paycheck, you need a paycheck.
And seeing as how I’ll be commuting 160 miles a day/4 days a week for a major (Classics) totally unrelated to my field (Engineering clerk), having the company pay for my schooling is pretty impossible. Not to mention unnecessary, as I’ve got everything paid for already.
Yeah. I lied one time where I told an employer that I didn’t plan to go to college. But sure enough, at the end of the summer off I went to college. It killed my chances of ever working at Stop & Shop again.
Sausage Creature, I can’t tell you how thrilled I am that there are still people out there who want to major in the Classics!
Here’s my take on the resignation thing. Are you a peon now far removed from the person to whom you said, “Sure, I’ll be here for a few years,” with you fingers crossed behind your back? If so, go with Boyo Jim’s letter.
If, on the other hand, the boss has come to depend on you, thinks you’re the greatest thing since sliced bread, etc., etc., I think a little more detail is in order. The point here is to avoid burning bridges. Ten years down the road, you may be applying for a teaching position, and the department chair is your former boss’s sister-in-law.
If you can possibly say it without lying, I don’t think it ever hurts to say, “I’ve found my time with Foofram Industries to be enjoyable and fullfilling,” or something of that sort.
I once said in a resignation letter to a boss for whom I had not one iota of respect: “I wish you all the success you deserve.”
And don’t beat yourself up about the “I lied, sort of” part. I think every interviewer assumes that, to some degree, the candidate gives the answer the interviewer wants to hear. Or the boss was incredibly naive to think that anyone would NOT answer the question as you did.
There’s more than me around here, and the rest of them are much smarter and more hardcore than I am.
Well, the boss himself hasn’t come to depend on me so much; his managerial approach is, ah, to not approach. The man is non-confrontational to a fault. However. I am depended heavily upon by my coworkers and my lead; I feel kinda bad about my lead since he’s basically been training me to back up for him. He’s starting school again, too (only in a relevant major and on a part-time basis). I don’t think I should give him a letter, but I feel pretty crappy about it. OTOH, I’ve brought a lot of backwork (about 3-4 years worth) pretty much up to date.
I can’t help but to see that as two-sided. But then my company doesn’t deserve much.
I hope so, but I won’t count on it. The bossman is rather naive.
You could always go in with the letter, tell him personally, and give him the letter for his records.
Is there a reason you’re waiting another week to give notice? In this situation, more than 2 weeks’ notice would not necessarily be a bad thing. And you could play it in your favor – sort of, “I know my leaving will make some more work for you, but I wanted to give more than 2 weeks’ notice so you would have more time to find a replacement.”
One thing you can almost always say in a resignation letter: “I’ve learned a lot in my time at XYZ Company.” Doesn’t mean you’ve learned anything good – it could mean that you’ve learned how not to be a shitty manager.
Never sever a relationship in which another party who is willing to pay you. If you are running a business, and you don’t like dealing with one of your customers, you don’t refuse to sell to them; you raise their price so high that you welcome the aggravation. If they pay, great. If not, you were considering getting rid of them anyway.
Same thing with an employer. What if they wanted to pay you $1,500/hr? What if they would let you work 3 days a week and take 2 hour lunches? Don’t write a resignation letter. Write a letter of demands. Ask for a bundle of money, a personal masseuse, and a private jet. Ask for the head of your most loathed coworker on a pike outside your office. Have your boss pick you up for work every morning in a rickshaw.
When I resigned from my last job (8 years ago) it was “I have been offered and accepted a job in (Name of City.) My last day here will be May xx.” I told my boss verbally and then gave her the letter of resignation for her records. I would suggest you do that, otherwise it will be a bolt out of the blue for your boss.
Since you’re leaving for school reasons, just tell them an educational opportunity came that you can’t pass up. You’ve enjoyed your time there, and you will miss them, but you’re last day will be Month/Day.
Above all, remain professional. You may need your boss to write a reference for you someday.
You could follow the example set by Inetta The Mood Setta. Just remember, you need to have at least 1,000 people listening when you say “I quit this bitch!”
