Should I tell my boss I'm looking elsewhere?

In My Humble Opinion
21

Do NOT go in “with an offer in hand” and demand a counteroffer. This is blackmail, pure and simple, and can only hurt you in the long term… And in the short term, you will get crap piled on you like you would not believe.

My suggestion would be to have a talk with your boss in a conversation based around the theme that you are “taking stock”, about both your personal life (i.e. your new family addition, the mortgage, possibly more children to come) and your present and future career with the firm.

This is likely the pitch that will get the best reception from management. It is always better for a company to retain valuable individuals than to replace them, and it sounds like you are in this boat. Taking stock of your current and future goals and opportunities is a normal part of career planning and will not be viewed as disloyal, while at the same time, obvious conditions for dissatisfaction (reduced pay coupled with increased financial straits) will get seen as a potential way to lose you that the firm will want to avoid, rather than an overt threat of abandonment on your part.

In general, you should have this kind of talk at least once a year, if not semi-annually, with your supervisor. From the other direction, as someone new to management, I have been instructed to make sure to initiate these discussions with the people under me, to make sure we always have a good feel for who’s potentially unhappy (the worst thing for a manager is to have someone they rely upon disappear unexpectedly).

If the company is really hard up for cash, they will at least try to give you other benefits, perhaps more time off, giving you an assistant, etc.

If they get all riled up and essentially tell you that you can go walking if you want to, well, leave. They’re either idiots who can’t run a company (in which case you don’t want to stay there anyway), or they didn’t really think of you as someone with a future at the firm (in which case you don’t want to stay there anyway).

But then you get to go job hunting (a) with a clear conscience, and (b) doing it from your desk while getting paid, because they certainly can’t fire you just for discussing your career.

22

Ditto. You owe them nothing. Do you think for a minute they’d tell you “Fat, we’re looking for someone to replace you.”? Not a chance.

The “friendship” you see is nearly always secondary to the operation of the business. They will cover their interest and drop you like a hot potato if they need to, regardless of what they think of you as a person.

Keep quiet, get a new gig, and give them the customary notice.

23

A lot of people have said this, and I am quite surprised. They will cover their interest and drop you like a hot potato if they need to, regardless of what they think of you as a person. Why do you think his situation falls into this category? Not the bit about replacing him impersonally… The bit about them needing or wanting to replace him!

This person is handling a lot of responsibility in a technical role. As he has already noted, his boss gets nervous when he takes a day off. He is NOT in an easily replaced role where he can be hot-swapped out in a week or two for a younger, cheaper guy or something like that, or at least that is not what it sounded like to me. His job is NOT on the line for elimination (in fact, it sounds like they need more people in his area).

Yes, it is “nothing personal”; however, when a company is truly satisfied with an employee, it always wants to keep him. Letting someone go costs money. Finding someone else costs money and time. You’re taking a chance on the next guy not being as good as the previous guy. And then there’s the ramp-up time before the replacement reaches the level of the person departing.

If he’s the “only computer guy” in the company now, do you think management relishes the prospect of interviewing technical candidates to replace him?

I also can’t think of a single instance of someone who took the “matching counteroffer” and didn’t end up leaving anyway. In fact I can hardly think of anybody who even took it when offered. So why play this game?

If he really wants to stay at this place – he likes his co-workers, the work, the location, etc., and just wants more money – and he feels like a valued employee, he should NOT go into this with a mindset of “grr, the company is my enemy”. If they value you, they want to keep you, and you want to stay, so work out the details in a professional manner.

If he really does want to leave – don’t let the few months of an extorted pay raise keep you in an uncomfortable work environment. Just start looking and then go.

24

When I quit a job working in an accounting department, I was one of the three full-time staff they had left, in a department that needed about five more people to run effectively, and they let me quit and walk away without blinking an eye - no offer to try to fix things, no discussion, no nothing. Companies don’t always do the logical thing.

25

robardin, you pretty much nailed me, not once but twice. Not only do you peg the situation, but you also gave me some great ideas on how to approach management about this.

Jeez, now I’m wishing the boss would get back from vacation, so I could have this talk as soon as possible.

26

In business, you look after yourself. Do not tell your boss you’re look elsewhere. Do not assume you’ll be able to easily find another job. Do not assume that they won’t be able to find someone to replace you the day after you tell them that you’re looking. It’s an incredibly tough job market out there, especially with the Silicone Valley meltdown.

As others pointed out, if they find out you are looking, they may fire you on the spot or they may find someone else before you’ve found another job. Do you really think they’ll keep you on the payroll, just because you were a nice guy and gave them notice?

Since you have another dependent, you need the benefits of your current employer. If you are let go before you find a new FT job, you will be eligible for COBRA coverage, but it’ll cost you an arm and a leg to pay it on your own.

So, once again, don’t be an idjit. Business is one place where nice guys finish dead last.

27

Actually, I have always told my boss that I have resumes out. First, it prepares them for your leaving. It sounds like you like your company, but just can’t afford to work for them. Second, it sounds like your company likes you…you will need references when you go on your interview. Third, your potential employer will wonder about your loyalty to them if they can’t contact your supervisor because your supervisor doesn’t know you are leaving. If you will do that to your current company, why wouldn’t you do that to your new company. Fourth, if you are looking in the same field in the same area, word will get back to your supervisor no matter what. They all know people at other companies and say “yeah, we talked to Mr. Blair about our IT department.” You do not want to have that conversation with your boss. Apparently I am in the minority, but I have worked here for almost a year with my boss knowing that I am floating resumes. There wasn’t much shock last week when I told him I would be leaving (3 more days!). If anything, my boss has treated me with more respect since I told him.

28

I never said they need or want to replace him. I said that if the shoe were on the other foot…if they were dissatisfied for some reason (the way the OP is)… they’d not hesitate to replace him. Business is business. There is rarely any employer-to-employee loyalty in the business world anymore. Your experience may be different, but it’s rare.

29

This sounds silly to me, I have changed jobs and never, ever been asked/forced to supply the name of a reference at my current job. HR people aren’t dolts (usually) and they realize that it would be awkward to ask a current boss for references.

Cover your ass, don’t tell the current boss a thing.

30

I see people here saying that a company will fire you for looking for a job. I’ve always let my employer know I was looking and usually even when I apply for a new job. I’ve never had a problem.