What’s wrong with lying if it is meant to save others from hurt?
I agree with RTFirefly. If you’re gonna fool around, don’t tell. It is not easy to hold guilt, but a strong man/woman should know that holding the guilt is the price to pay for animal indulgences. And let’s admit, we all have animal desires, which might lead to indulgences.
The chances of HIV or of the spouse finding out are very slim. I feel there is more a probability that a fatal car crash will kill one’s family than a spouse cheating. People just magnify the chances of HIV as a defensive guilt trip to satisfy their insecurities.
The OP meant a 1X situation whereby the person of the opposite sex was not aa barfly but perhaps a very attractive, intelligent, personable, humerous and someone who feels the same way about you…smart enough to know that its all over after a few hours. I believe commitment is essential to most marriages but I can’t help but feel that many of the responders have a secret dread that it could happen to their spouses and therefore look upon the whole idea with disgust. I believe that whether or not the fling should be told to the spouse depends on the strength of the relationship and the maturity of both parties. I keep reading that sexual thoughts occur in an individual’s brain many times during the day and mine as well and it is doubtful that the main theme is about ones SO or spouse. ubtfully about one’s significant other or spouse.
Ich weiss nicht was solles bedeuten das Ich so traurig bin.
This sorta happened to me, actually. It was just a few months before I got married. I was living at home and working nights and my future wife was still at school, over 300 miles away.
I met up with a girl I was very serious with in high school. So serious we came as close to going all the way without actually going as you can get.
Well, this time we did. It sort of put a closure on our relationship. I’ve never seen or heard from this person since.
Less than a month after I got married, I confessed all to my wife, fearing that she would hate me and our marriage would wither and die. The opposite happened. She understood and said she was glad I had such an opportunity. It’s never been an issue for us.
Still, 17 1/2 years later, such behavior would never occur to me, and if I were to behave that way, I believe it would have a serious impact on my marriage. Why? Because our relationship is much deeper and ingrained. The hurt would be devastating. And 17 years of trust would be destroyed in one night of uncontrolled lust.
Marriage is a wonderful thing, and I agree with the other posters who indicated that the best way to answer such a conundrum is to avoid such a situation.
The Dave-Guy
“since my daughter’s only half-Jewish, can she go in up to her knees?” J.H. Marx
