Even though he’s the one paying for it, (although in this case, NOT paying for it), close it. You can’t afford to have your credit go like that.
If he doesn’t have money for lunch-tell him to brown bag it.
How much are you spending on them a week now for stuff you want them to buy with their allowance? That is a good starting point to look at. If you give them money for lunch now but want their allowance to cover it then give them enough for lunch plus a little extra. If you are buying two CDs a month then divide that cost by four weeks.
I think that $10 a week is a good amount if you can afford it. If you quit buying them some things or giving them money at random times it might work out cheaper for you to give them an allowance. If you can’t afford $10 a week then perhaps some sliding scale for age. Like give the older child $7 and the younger child $5.
For what it’s worth, Isabelle, I certainly hope that you make more than $550 a week, because if he makes that and still asks for money…
Some advice… this is ridiculous!
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Cancel the phone now and when he whines tell him to go jump in a lake. He’s on the road to ruining your credit and eventually his!
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I am 32 years old and live in NYC and I do not make that much money! I pay the gas, electric, telephone, cable, three credit card bills, Dell for a new computer, and a cell phone bill. and I still manage to get my butt to work in a gas eating Jeep and buy lunch each day.
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He has got to learn that Mommy will not/can not bail him out every time he gets in trouble. Or else he’ll be living with you until he is 50. And so will the other two if you allow this to continue.
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If he can not manage his own money, and refuses to listen to you, allow him to learn the hard way… no matter how much it breaks your heart. This kid has got to learn some responsibility. Make it a requirement that he give you 1/4 of his pay check for savings. If he’s not happy with that tell him to go look for a room for rent.
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Anyone want to start a landscaping business???
Ditto what 2evil just said… except don’t tell him that it’s “1/4 his pay for savings”… tell him it’s 1/4 his pay for RENT!
And don't save it for him, either... spend it on yourself! That's your payment for whatever you do for him--laundry, his use of your shower, or whatever.
My sister and I NEVER got allowances, and we were STILL expected to help out with whatever chores were going on at any given time. And with the World’s Biggest Do-It-Yourself-Guy for a father, that came to a LOT of “whatevers”!
The end result? My sister and I are both the sort of people who hang onto a dollar until it starts to rot. We never had any money, so we never learned to spend it.
Isabelle, most posters seem to have covered your 17 year old, so I won’t go into that. I quizzed some of my friends about how much pocket money they got when they were in their early to mid teens, and most got around $20-50.
In high school my pocket money was $50 a week to pay for food, movies, clothes, etc. My parents paid for school-related purchases and transport. My sister and I were encouraged to focus on our studies rather than get part time jobs (although we’ve both had casual jobs before) which is partly why our allowance is so generous.
Check around with other parents in your area to see what they give their kids. Ten dollars a week, when parents are paying for school expenses, is about right for where I live.
Also, I just have to say that giving kids a steady allowance (my parents started when I was old enough to do simple chores at age six) is a spiffy idea. On my mom’s side of the family, out of all of my many, many cousins, the only two who are completely financially irresponsible are also the only two from the family who never gave allowances (or required chores as part of contributing to the family unit). They’re both over thirty and my aunt is about ready to move away just to get rid of them!
this may sound redundant, but i wanted to help make it absolutely clear for you.
DO NOT WAIT until your oldest son misses a payment on the cell phone bill. CANCEL IT NOW. it doesn’t matter if it’s “his responsibility” to pay for it. it’s your name on the contract. YOU will be the one penalized with a mark against your credit rating if he screws up.
just so you understand how the rest of the world is gonna see this.
When I was in high school I got $20. This covered food if I couldn’t be bothered making my own lunch (mom would buy supplies if I did want to brown bag it, which was usually) and whatever else I wanted to do – I grew up in NYC and even in the late 80s a movie cost $7-$10. I also worked (babysitting when I was younger, office job in later high school) as did my brother. Back in the day we got subway passes through school and they were um… rather easy to abuse so transportation was nearly free. (They’ve tightened up the system since then.) My point is: we didn’t have cars or need them.
As far as chores me and my brother always set/cleared the table and did the dishes as well (unless we had cooked dinner – my brother learned to be an excellent cook because he hates dishes). Assisted with some basic yardwork, running quick errands and the occasional gruntwork for my parent’s business. Not too much, really.
Depending on the cost of living where you live (what does a movie, bus fare cost?) I’d say $10-$30 and let them pack their own lunches as well.
I offered the 13 year old $10 to mow the lawn today. (I thought that was a fair price) He said “nah I don’t need the money this week & I would want $20 anyways” Now I have to put my foot down because the lawn NEEDS to be mowed.
My response would have been:
“Fine - then you are going to get your butt out there and do it for nothing.”
And there would be some serious punishments coming down the line if he didn’t do it.
See! That is why you don’t tie allowance to chores. Your son should mow the yard because he lives there and is part of the family not to make money. If he wants to make money he should go mow the neighbor’s yard.
BTW if you were paying someone it probably would cost about $20 to get the grass mowed. That is why it is nice to have teenage sons.
Isabelle, I’d like to make an observation, and please don’t take this the wrong way.
Based on your posts to this thread, and other posts of yours I have read, one of the reasons you’re facing these problems is that you can’t or won’t stand up to your kids.
For example, your oldest lives at home, rent-free. He’s got no real expenses like utilities or food, and makes over 2K a month. He should be paying rent (about 1/4, like someone suggested; that’s what most people pay) and chipping in for food and utilities. If you like, you can stash that money (as my grandmother did whenever one of her adult grandchildren lived with her), and give it to him for furnishings when he’s ready for his own place. But don’t tell him that.
The point being, this boy makes way too much money to be this irresponsible. When he moves out on his own, he’s going to be too used to the high life to have enough money to pay his expenses. I know you’re hesitant to step in, because it is his money, and he works for it, but if you don’t do something, he’s never going to leave home. And why should he? He’s got Mommy taking care of him.
I’m also noticing signs of the same thing in your other son. Just because he doesn’t need the money this week doesn’t mean he can’t earn it for next week. It just seems like he’s a bit short-sighted in that regard.
In any event, my mother passed along some good advice back when I was pregnant last summer. We were discussing some financial planning stuff, and she told me never to let my son “borrow” my credit. She’s followed this rule since I was young, and it’s been very good for both of us. She’s never co-signed for anything (never had to), and refused to let me use her credit card without having cash in hand to cover the purchase.
Robin
Wow, I guess I was seriously underpaid. I’m 23 now, and at the end of middle school and the first 2 years of high school, my allowance was $5/week. I never really asked my parents for money to buy CD’s, clothes, or movies. If they didn’t want to pay for it, I didn’t get it.
That all changed, of course, once I got a job (16). Then I spent it things that I wanted.