Should my cousins have been born?

[Ensign_Edison]

@Thudlow Boink

Were your cousins ever directly asked this question? If so, what was their response? If not, what’s your best guess as to what their response would have been?

I certainly hope no one ever asked them that. But I’m sure they would have said they were glad they were born and got to live at all.

Did they make some positive contribution to the world, say in art or in science or just by brightening the lives of those around them? Would it have been better if someone like Stephen Hawking had never been born?

They absolutely made our lives better for knowing them.

It bothers me to evaluate their lives’ worth by comparing them to “normal” humans. Wouldn’t all of us be considered severely handicapped if there also existed superhumans with much greater longevity and physical and mental ability and less susceptibility to pain and injury than we have? Would their mere existence render our lives less worth living?

That is an excellent point and food for thought.

[Snickers]

I have a similar story - a couple that are close friends of my mother-in-law had a child with multiple sclerosis, which has a similar (though not as dire) prognosis. They’re devout Catholics, and kept having children. Their second girl was okay, but the last child also has MS, at a much greater severity than the first. Now, they can’t go to family functions or be any type of normal because of their third child’s health.

I can respect their beliefs, but this is simply unconscionable to me. Not only do you have a child who’s life is abruptly shortened, but the others can’t have any degree of normalcy either. I simply cannot understand or respect their choice.

[Bill_Door]

@smiling bandit

Intending no offense, but I am glad that people such as ye have not been the rule; else there should be no humanity. Frankly, those children who died at age 7 or so are quite normal, and lucky if they live loner. This has been the rule for most of human history, and only we in blessed ignorance can royally and regally sniff our noses at the grubby roots and brevity of vitus humanitus.

I’ve got to disagree with this. If it was normal to die by the age of seven, where did all the people come from? We are all descended from millions of people who lived to reproductive maturity. It could not be otherwise, and the fact is that those unfortunate people in the OP born with muscular dystrophy are not going to be reproducing in any event, so whether they were born or not has no relevance to humanity’s continuance. I disagree with your conclusion that bearing children with painful and fatal conditions somehow contributes to the species.

[Zsofia]

@Thudlow Boink

Were your cousins ever directly asked this question? If so, what was their response? If not, what’s your best guess as to what their response would have been?

Did they make some positive contribution to the world, say in art or in science or just by brightening the lives of those around them? Would it have been better if someone like Stephen Hawking had never been born?

Were they a burden on those around them or on society as a whole? Is it a concern that they, with their special needs, consumed resources that were urgently needed elsewhere?

It bothers me to evaluate their lives’ worth by comparing them to “normal” humans. Wouldn’t all of us be considered severely handicapped if there also existed superhumans with much greater longevity and physical and mental ability and less susceptibility to pain and injury than we have? Would their mere existence render our lives less worth living?

On the other hand, consider the other special needs children, trapped in institutions or shuffled through the foster system. If you had the choice to either continue to have more severely handicapped children or to, say, adopt or foster some of the other needy ones, would it not be far better to improve the lives of already existing handicapped kids? I mean, I don’t want to get on that “You don’t care about poor people because you haven’t sold all your worldly goods!” kick, but I do think it needs to be addressed. I admit, I do think that, for instance, people who breed their cats or buy purebreds instead of rescuing a shelter cat aren’t as… nice.

[Annie-Xmas]

If you have children with a bad genetic defect and know that any future children might have the same defect and you know that you couldn’t handle anymore such children, and if there is no genetic test for the defect and/or you don’t want an abortion, then you should not get pregnant.

If Johnny Winter’s parents had found out their second son was an albino and they didn’t want another albino child, would the world have been deprived of Edgar Winter’s talent? Well, life’s a crap shoot and too freaking bad.

[Plan_B]

I’m very much pro-children. I can’t begin to describe the amount and quality of pleasure that my children have brought to my family. But if I were in your aunt and uncle’s position, no way I’d conceive another child. Adoption would look pretty good in that situation.

But I have nothing to say about whether or not they did the right thing. It’s too complicated for me to make judgements about what’s right for other people,

But…as a taxpayer, I resent any of the medical costs I had to shoulder, whether or not they made the right decision for them.