I absolutely abhor and despise my parents for giving me life and thrusting me into this world WITHOUT MY PERMISSION. This isn’t a little *****y rant about how difficult my privileged life but rather a rant about humanity in general and how ridiculously evil (I believe) having children is.
What bothers me about the whole ordeal is the simple FACT that absolute traumatizing pain that can last for your entire life exists and can happen to literally anybody, regardless of age, sex, and so forth.
Before reading this post, I want you to imagine that you are locked up in a dark room with a sociopathic sadist that has a very large knife. This is going to be your existence for the rest of your life. This sociopath won’t kill you but rather he’ll torture you in the most brutal, inhumane way imaginable for 60 years. Imagine your screams and shouts, imagine your mindset when you realize that this is going to literally be the rest of your existence. 21900 days of pure physical pain and anguish. 525600 hours of him torturing you with electricity, knives, bee stings, and so forth. Imagine the darkness, the fear, the loneliness, the despair, and the sheer fear.
I can bet my soul that if any individual, especially one who had previously loved and enjoyed their life and were anti-suicide, were to end up in the above scenario, after several hours they would be overcome with sheer euphoria at the thought of killing themselves and ending the pain. Suicide would become a VERY desirable escape. I don’t know how many of you have undergone excruciating amounts of physical pain but I can’t, for the life of me, imagine anything worse.
Now, since we’ve deduced that there are POSSIBLE (though unlikely) circumstances where any human life can become a mess of excruciating misery and physical pain to the point where the individual begins to despise their existence, is having kids really the right thing to do?
This is why I feel like I can never truly “love” my parents. Because when you REALLY begin to look at things objectively, I mean when you really look at what’s going on from this perspective, you begin to realize that your life is a gamble. Your parents rolled the dice without your permission.
My life is good right now, don’t get me wrong- I have a lot of friends, live in a nice house, have plenty of food on my plate, attend a great university, and so forth but there are a million terrible things that could technically happen to me at any given time that can make me despise existence and make me undergo vast amounts of pain. And although they are rare, they still happen. That’s what matters. And people don’t really pay attention to it because it’s so rare but what fascinates me is that it does happen to SOMEONE. And that someone feels feelings as intensely as you do. They perceive pain as intensely as you do. Just imagine the sheer fear that you would feel if you are going to be brutally tortured for 60 years! I’ve had nightmares about this stuff. Just sit down and think about it for a minute or two. Would you wish this on ANYONE? Wouldn’t you do absolutely everything you can to prevent it?
I understand that this is a difficult view to take in. Parents don’t want to be told that they are to blame for their children’s misfortunes and child birth is perhaps the most natural and dominant instinct we have. Man, it’s eating me up inside.
I was sitting next to my mother recently and she told me how much she loved me. Then I thought about what my life would be like had I been kidnapped at a young age and tortured for the rest of my life by a sociopath brute. And then I realized that this was technically possible. And then I realized my mom, technically speaking, took that risk. It made me feel really uneasy.
Can anyone relate? I feel soooo alone in this. I feel like I am the only person in the world with a view like this.
