Long, thanks for reading;
I’ve been divorced for going on 4 years now. We have joint custody of our two kids who are six and eight. My ex just told me that she is in the process of changing her name back to her maiden name. I have NO problem with that but it has restarted something I have been thinking about for years.
I was born and lived till I was eight with my mom’s last name. She met and married my step dad at that time and I was given his name.
Worst. Mistake. Ever.
He is a horrible, manipulative, abusive, alcoholic, violent…I won’t continue, I think you get the point. My mom left him (finally) about a year and a half ago and it has been the best thing for our family (except when he saw my sister outside a restaurant and slugged her in the face). We have cut off all contact with him and restraining orders are in place.
I have wanted to change my name back to my moms’ maiden name for years but I kept it for Anne and the kids. Even when we were first going out and then after we got married she knew I did not like my last name and I had talked about changing it on numerous occasions.
Now that she is changing her name, I see that she has no attachment to the name. I would like to change it but only if I can change the kids name at the same time. I don’t think it will be a big deal for them, remember I did the same thing when I was the same age as my daughter (8) and they know about my step dad and what a horrible person he is.
Both names have the same first letter so I will still be MikeG Plus I will be getting rid of my English surname and returning to my original Irish last name :)
I mentioned it to Anne this morning and she seemed very surprised about it. She thinks that they won’t be able to understand the reasoning behind the change and has minimized the effect the name has had on me. I really hate knowing that I am in effect furthering his family name when all his entire family has ever brought to others is pain and suffering.
So what do you Dopers think? Have any of you been in a similar situation? Any IL Dopers know what the costs involved are going to be?