Sorry! It’s a lovely place, but I don’t do well with winter weather, and I don’t want to live any further north than I do now. Too much snow makes me go nutty!
Your rent in Hayward would cover a mortgage in greater Chicago, Detroit, or Cleveland. Cleveland has the disadvantage of being in a “gray bubble” from November to late March when the sun doesn’t come out often but it doesn’t rain or snow too much either, and it doesn’t get much over 90 in the summer. Detroit has the disadvantage of being more heavily beholden to a slowly declining industry; I’m not sure that the cheap parts are too much better than Hayward crime-wise. Chicago might be a bit on the costly side. I’d also suggest looking into Milwaukee, St. Louis, Des Moines, Pittsburgh, and maybe even Toronto. You want a day’s drive separation from Connecticut so they won’t just “drop in”, but you want to be in a big city in a “blue” or “purple” state so that you don’t get surrounded with religious zealots that kill off the culture.
We don’t want to move anywhere where we don’t know a soul. We had been thinking about Madison, WI because it is bloody gorgeous and very very liveable, but we don’t want to anihilate our social or familial contacts. What’s driving us back to CT is the increased network of humans we have there- biological and chosen families.
And with such criteria, we are looking at SF Bay Area, LA area (oh, yucky), and CT. Well, I suppose Western MA too, but you couldn’t pay me enough to live there.
Otherwise, it’s a good thought. 
I live near Rancho (well, Upland actually) and I think you know that there is a huge temperature difference between the Inland Empire and the coastal areas. I’m not saying you should move to So Cal if you hate it (enough people down here already!) but I don’t think you should discount it completely, if you can afford to live somewhere like Santa Monica. Given your condition, I certainly wouldn’t recommend coming back to this area! It’s fucking hell! Shoot, I’d move, if I had anywhere to go.
Santa Monica is sooooo expensive! But then, the Koo-koo-roo clown/ballerina god lives there, and I’ve always believed a cult should be formed around that bit of statuary.
If I were to move back down there, first choice would be Pasadena. Loves loves loves it.
We’ll see what DLG has to say about this “Southern CA” idea when he comes home from work…
A friend of mine pays less than $1300 for her apartment and lives within walking distance to the beach! This really resonates with me, because I’m looking at an apartment in Upland (in a not-great area) that is $1300 and the closest thing I can walk to is the bad Mexican restaurant. Heh.
I agree, Pasadena is a great place. I think I’d like to move there one day.
We currently pay $1095.
And I know exactly whereabouts you live. Heh. Upland isn’t very big, and there is really only one restaurant I would call THE bad Mexican place.
Did you go to the Claremont’s?
Woah, I just did a search on rent.com for apartments in Santa Monica and had a small stroke!
Ok, a quick search also reveals to me that apartment prices in the Pasadena/Altadena/Glendale area are comparable to Hayward.
No, I’m completely my degree at the University of La Verne. I wish I could afford to live in La Verne–it’s much nicer than Upland!
I always thought it sounded too much like a sassy hairdresser to be taken seriously as a town. Don’t get me started on Diamond Bar…
At least I don’t live in Chino.
$1095.00? One or two bedrooms? You can get a one bedroom for that here:
http://www.werent.com/WavecrestLania_Apartments_photos.htm
And though those aprtments probably aren’t terribly luxurious, I guarantee Alameda is much nicer place overall than Hayward. And that complex is essentially on the water, if you like that sort of thing :).
Other complexes in Alameda:
http://www.werent.com/Alameda%20Apartments.htm
- Tamerlane
2 bedroom.
Thanks for the info, though.
It sounds like you’ve already made up your mind where you want to live.
The beauty of restaurant management is that you can do that ANYWHERE.
I was going to recommend any of the relatively small towns in the Puget Sound area in Washington, or the towns of Eugene, or Salem, Ore. I don’t think it’s any more rainy there than in San Francisco, and the rents will be much cheaper. Spring and summer in those areas are absolutely beautiful, and you’d be near to the water and the mountains. And of course, your governor won’t be the Terminator.
You are two of the most strong, intelligent, interesting, and unconventional people I’ve “met” in a long time, and I should think you’d do very well in a small community, i.e. develop family-like relationships in a very short time. A small town is a great place to raise Tinkleberry, too.
I share your pain on the family thing. I come from a similar background. I don’t think free babsittying is a good enough reason to be near either of your families, do you? You don’t need any of that crazy bullshit right now. You will find like-minded people when you get in the right place.
PS: It snows in Madison, Wis.
So the problem is that if you stay there will be trouble, but if you go it will be double? Tough choice.
So perhaps some more detail would help. My wife’s parents are crazy, which I believe she’s covered here. There is much drama there, and none of it healthy. My parents are crazy too. And the more I spend time away from them, the more I realize it. Nothing makes them happy. When I moved to california there was much drama. “How could you take my grandson away from me?” Emails about how other people in my mom’s office are leaving early to take thier grandchildren for walks in the park. Its been one long guilt trip for 8 months. Now we’re discussing moving back. I didn’t want them to hear about it, but news travels fast on the grapevine. Now they don’t seem to want that either. Do something they don’t like, they get mad, do something that they seem to want, it’s worse.
They also lie, to me, to my in-laws, to someone. They are a disaster. Easter was spent complaining about how I should be working in finance, not in a restaurant. It’s a waste of my time, etc. I hate finance. It didn’t work out for me. For the first time in 10 years I really have a job that I like. And I really like it. Yes it means long hours, yes its a pain sometimes, but I like it. I really like it. But its not good enough for them. Of course when I asked them about this, they tell me they’re happy for me. So who do I believe? My in-laws? They really have no stake in creating drama, they just want me to be able to support my family. My parents? This actually sounds like something they would say.
So moving closer to them seems less and less like an option. I’d love to have my son grow up near his grandparents. I didn’t really know mine until I moved here. They’re wierd. So I thought this would be good for him. And for them. The only reason I have for continuing a relationship with them right now is my sister, since I know eventually I’m going to end up as her guardian. I wish I could afford to have her here. Get her away from the crazy. I need my own island.
Distinctly not Hayward, yes.
Thanks for the compliments. It would be great to live in a small town with a house and a dog and all that other good stuff. However, I think the suburban flight is part of what continues to fuck up areas like Hayward. You end up with a lot of drug dealers and people who are too poor to go elsewhere and often don’t have the education to advocate for themselves and thus get screwed in rental negotiations. We are one of the only tenents here who hasn’t paid for required maintenence on our apartments, because we know the law and can advocate for ourselves in writing and through the courts to get them to uphold their agreements. But every day I’m in talks with other tenents about how, yes, the agency DOES have to repair your plumbing, and it is NOT a tenent responsibility to pay for it, and if they dismantle your entire ceiling for a week you DO have an entitlement to reduced rent for that month.
The stuff this agency does is ridculous. They are openly flipping- forcing out lower paying tenents before end of lease to try and raise the rent on the next group. They do things like put 3 Day Notices on everyone’s doors, just to see who will get scared enough by a Fancy Paper and leave. Do they have basis for these? No. Does everyone realize that? Sadly, no. They just see Scary Fancy Paper.
True. But we will get custody of DLG’s sister within a few years. And being closer to her would really help that transition. Most places have major waiting lists for services for people with autism, especially with her level of disability. Having to move her could easily disrupt her care for a year or more. And without a day program or a group home, one of us would have to be home with her full-time.
SHhhhhhhhhhhh!
There are lots of places in the East Bay that kick ass. Once again, I’ll suggest Craigslist. Tons of places for 1100. I live in Oakland and I love it.
I grew up in CT and Western Mass. Not the best places for cool summers and warm winters. The answer seems to be: just move out of your apt. complex, really. Alameda has tons and tons of apartments right now. Easy to get to Hayward too.
::eyes bug out just a little bit::
Cost of living comparisons always tend to make my jaw drop in astonishment. Arkansas is not the hippest, savviest place in the world to live, but the cost of living is so low. We’re a 20 minute commute from the capital city, on the outskirts of a college town, and rents around here run 450.00 to 700.00 (the low side being apartments and the high side being rent for houses). Heck, our monthly mortgage payment for a 3BR/2BA house is half the sum quoted above. When you average our property taxes and homeowners insurance over 12 months, we still pay less than 650.00 a month for all three.
It’s shocking to see disparities so large, but I guess it’s to be expected in a nation as spead out as our own. I’d be interested to know if Canada* had similar cost of living disparities throughout its provinces.
*Canada chosen for no other reason than the fact that it also stretches from Atlantic to Pacific.
You do not exist to fix the problems in Hayward. You cannot fight this fight for everyone. You have to think about you, now, when it comes to finding a safe, happy place for your family to live. No matter what YOU do, the problems you’ve mentioned will continue to exist, if not in your immediate neighborhood then throughout the US of A. The “suburban flight” will always exist. Fight the battles you have a chance of winning.
sigh
No, I apparently exist to knock things like plants off my porch in the middle of the night and down two stories onto my neighbor’s whites, which are drying on her porch. Yup, sometimes I too am an asshat.
We’re moving, no matter what. But I do think that everyone in a community sense is in this together, and my moving will just be another bailing out. True, I can always do organzing from the outside, but that’s pretty hypocritical.